Firsts Ch. 07

"Ohmygodthisissocool! There's so many people! And cute guys! Oh, wow," Mandy said her blue eyes widening.

"What?" I asked, craning my head to see what she was looking at.

"Your brothers are even hotter without their shirts on. And who the guy Matt's glaring at?"

"Rico," I answered, smiling at my boy-crazy friend.

"That's Rico? You said he was cute, but damn!" Mandy made a show of fanning herself.

"I thought you were taken?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't stop me from looking. And just look at his ass! Now that's a nice view."

"I do not need to hear this," another voice joined us. I looked back to see Mandy's older brother Dean walking up to us, followed by most off the other folks from the parlour. He looked so different than his little sister, with his green Mohawk, multiple face piercings and full shirt and sleeve tattoos, the only thing the had in common were their bright blue eyes.

"Oh, please. You drool over girls all the time!" Mandy replied indignantly.

Dean just shook his head. "Happy birthday Kes." He was echoed by the rest of them.

"Thanks," I smiled back. "Just in time for lunch, huh?"

"See, I told you we weren't too late," Dave gloated, slapping Jeanie on the shoulder. "She was worried I was going to waste away to nothin'" Everyone laughed, because Dave, Jeanie's father, and one of the senior artists at the parlour, looked like a bouncer at a biker bar, complete with the beer gut.

I was concerned at first that my friends and co-workers wouldn't fit in so well with my brother's slightly more conventional friends, but soon my worries were laid to rest. Mandy was soon chatting away happily with Melosa, or more at her, although the quiet woman seemed happy enough. Dean was soon surrounded by women, his usual charm attracting them like flies. Dave was giving my brother's barbequing tips around mouthfuls of cornbread, and Jeanie, well…

Jeanie was leaning against one of the cars, an amused expression on her face as Rico, who was unaware of her preferences, flirted outrageously, never really noticing that instead of swooning, her smile was growing wider and wider.

"Y'know, if you were a real friend, you'd put the poor guy out of his misery," Gabriel murmured next to my ear.

I turned my head back slightly, but didn't take my eyes of the amusing scene before me. "But it's so funny!"

I heard him laugh behind me, then felt his finger slide under the waistband of my red board shorts, out of sight of everyone else. "Time to talk, Babe."

"Okay," I agreed, swallowing hard.

"See where the beach curves 'round the bend there?" he asked, his hands on my hips swivelling me in the right direction.

"Yeah?"

"There's an old refreshment stand. Meet me there in ten minutes."

Before I could answer him, he disappeared into the throng of people; leaving me wishing the minutes would pass faster.

Soon I was walking quickly along the beach, following Gabriel's larger tracks through the hot sand. I passed round the curve of the shoreline and just like he said, there was the small, boarded-up refreshment stand in all its glory.

But no sign of Gabriel.

I circled around the side, looking around for any sign of him when suddenly I was grabbed from behind and pulled to the back of the stand, away from the gaze of anyone passing on the beach.

Panic shot through me for a second before my breathing steadied at the quick glimpse I got of green eyes before his mouth was devouring mine, his body pinning me to the wall. As his warm hands skimmed up my bare torso to gently knead my bikini covered breasts I buried my hands in his silky-black hair, gripping hard and pulling him closer.

Soon his wicked fingers had undone the ties on my red bikini top and I moaned at the feeling of my hard nipples against his bare chest. As soon as the sound escaped my lips it was like a switch had been flipped and we were both frantically pushing each other's shorts down, eager to feel the slip and slide of him inside me.

He lifted me up, my legs wrapping around his waist as he slammed inside of me. The uneven wood of the wall dug into my back and I let out an involuntary whimper, but I didn't complain, the pleasure of feeling him in me far out weighing any momentary pain.

But gentleman that he was, he spun us around, his cock still deep inside me and suddenly I was on my back in the sand, the heat on my back almost as warm as Gabriel's body above me. With out pause he was gripping my hips and slamming into me, making my breasts bounce and my breath hitch every time he bottomed out, his balls slapping hard against me.

He leaned back, still pistoning, and his eyes on me felt hotter than the sun that was shining behind him, making him glow like an angel. His skin was shining, a thin layer of sweat covering his sculpted body, accentuating every tensed muscle, every straining vein. His jaw was tense, his face unmoving, like he was carved from stone.

But his eyes…they were flashing with passion, need and something akin to awe. But there was something else, something in those green orbs that I had never seen before, something I couldn't identify, something like…hope.

And it hurt, because hope wasn't what he felt, only lust. Hope was my emotion, my dream that he'd suddenly see me as more than a friend, more than a good time. I was so desperate for him that I was imagining the tender look in his eyes. But the thought of him actually wanting me, needing me the way I needed him sent me soaring over the edge and I squeezed my eyes shut as my body convulsed in ecstasy.

He moaned low at the feel of my pussy clenching around him, but he didn't come, just kept thrusting, his pace steady. I looked up at him again, but his eyes were now closed, his head tilted back, his delicious lips parted slightly. I ran my hand up his abs, scratching lightly with my nails and his head snapped down, his expression playful.

He leaned down, covering my body with his, burying his face in my neck, nipping and licking the sensitive skin under my ear. That, combined with the feel of his whole body moving against mine and his pelvic bone rubbing against my clit triggered my second explosive orgasm, and this time, roaring into my neck, he joined me, his hot come filling up my womb.

He collapsed on top of me for a minute before rolling carefully off of me, leaving me feeling cold and empty. Suddenly it was more than I could take. I couldn't keep playing this game, couldn't keep pretending his emotional indifference didn't matter. I stood up, gathered my clothes and quickly dressed.

"You know, I love you in red," he commented from where he was lying on his side in the sand, head propped on one hand, naked as the day he was born. I love you. Yeah, right.

"You wanted to talk?" I said, my tone neutral.

"Uh, yeah…" He paused, frowning. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Well, you'd better make it quick, otherwise someone will notice we're both missing," I replied, my voice a little colder than I intended.

He just looked at me, his expression unreadable.

"What?"

"We wouldn't want that, would we?" he said quietly, stooping to pick up his trunks. With out looking back at me, he continued, "I doesn't matter, you'd better go. I'll follow in a few minutes so it doesn't look suspicious."

Stunned by his brusque dismissal, I turned and left, walking quickly toward the party, only stopping to quickly dive into the lake to clean myself up, and hide the signs of the tears that had been rolling down my face.

Melosa

It was a week later, and I still hadn't been alone with Gabriel. I hadn't spoken to him, hadn't called him, hadn't been on a date with him. Complete sexual cold turkey. It was killing me.

At first he'd tried to talk, calling me, cornering me when the others were out of the room, trying to get me to talk, to tell him what was wrong, but I refused to say a thing. I was giving him the silent treatment. Yeah, I know, real mature.

After a while, he stopped trying, choosing instead to echo my tactics back on me. We both spent the week avoiding each other; silently fuming over an argument I was too much of a coward to have with him.

I had resigned myself to ending our more-than-friends relationship, knowing I couldn't handle hiding my feelings forever. I figured eventually he'd lose interest and find some other girl, and things would go back to normal, with me worshipping him from afar, and him completely oblivious.

The problem was, letting go of him was harder than never having had him in the first place, because know I knew what I was missing. I looked at other guys and I was still comparing them to Gabriel, but now I wasn't even vaguely interested in them.

It felt like there was only one guy for me, and he was the one guy I didn't stand a chance with. I tried talking to Mandy about it, but she didn't understand why I'd dumped him (so to speak). She figured that even if I didn't tell him, I should keep fucking him, saying that I should take what I could get. She didn't understand how much it hurt every time I had to play nonchalant with him, pretending it was all just fun and games.

It wasn't just us though. Everyone was tense, and no one really knew why. Mel hadn't piped up since snapping at Matt at the party, and Matty had taken to avoiding any contact beyond 'Please pass the salt.' Poor Tommy and Luis were stuck in the middle of everything, and the whole family dynamic was askew. All the laughing and joking felt hollow, and everyone had a sense that something was wrong, but only Gabriel and I really knew what.

The Friday after the party was when things really started to change. The boys had decided to go out and have some fun, hoping that a night spent drinking and partying would get them back to normal. They'd even invited Melosa and I, but she'd politely declined saying that she was tired and the idea of watching Gabriel flirt with some other girl hadn't sounded like fun to me, so I'd lied about having to work the next day.

Mel and I were left alone to fend for ourselves, deciding that a girls night in might give us a chance to get to know each other. She'd been staying with us for over two weeks and all I knew about her was what Rico had told me. I figured it was time we did some female bonding and hopefully become friends. I had the feeling that, like me, she didn't have a whole lot of them, but unlike me, she didn't have a triad of brothers to look out for her, just Rico.

Which was why one movie, two buckets of popcorn and several virgin strawberry daiquiri's later, we were playing the rather uninspired game of 'who would you rather?'

"Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom?" she asked quietly, taking another handful of popcorn.

"Depends," I answered, pleased she was finally getting into the swing of things. "Are we talking from Pirates? 'Cause if it's not, Bloom was hot as Legolas, but I'd pick Jack Sparrow over Will Turner any day."

"Same here," she answered, smiling and ducking her head shyly.

"Good answer," I grinned.

Suddenly she jumped and grabbed my hand, placing it to her belly. "It's kicking, can you feel?"

"Wow," I murmured, feeling the baby moving under my hand. She smiled, rubbing her hand over her swollen belly fondly. "What was Felix like? How did you meet?" I asked. She looked up at me in shock, then quickly looked away. She was quiet for so long I thought she wasn't going to answer. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer, I shouldn't have—"

"No, it's okay. I'm just not used to people asking. No one ever asks." She paused for a moment, a far away look in her eyes. "We met at the bakery I worked. He was a little like Rico, always flirting, but he didn't try to hide the good man he was. I loved him, and I know he loved me." She shrugged, as though it didn't matter, but I knew it did. "We always figured we'd be together, but we didn't think about the future much. When we found out that I was pregnant, he was so happy. We were going to get married when he came home, but…"

She sighed. "When my father found out, he was so angry, he called me a puta just because I didn't wait for marriage. Mrs. Ortega wasn't much different. No one cared that Felix and I were in love, just that we weren't married. Except Rico." She smiled. "He's been so good to me, his mama won't even talk to him anymore, but he looks out for us. I don't know what I'd do without him. I hate having to rely on him like I do, but I don't make enough for rent on my own, and it's not about me anymore. I don't know what would have happened if you guys hadn't let me crash here."

"Well don't worry about it. You can stay here as long as you need, and no matter how much of a jerk Matty's being, he won't kick you out on your own. We'll always be here if you need us," I assured her, wanting her to know she wasn't alone.

"Why is he like that? Mateo, I mean. Did I do something wrong? I don't understand what I've done to make him hate me. Tommy and Luis have been so nice, but I can never seem to do anything right by him," she frowned.

"Oh, Mel! It's not you, he just…" I sighed, trying not to give her the wrong idea. "It's Rico. You know he doesn't have the best reputation…" She nodded slowly, and I smiled reassuringly. "Well, Matty's just worried that Rico's going to bring trouble. He's had to look after us all like a father for years. He doesn't see what I see in Rico, how he cares for you, for his family. He only sees the bad. It's wrong for him to take his worries out on you, but…" I shrugged. "That's just the way he is. Give him some time and he'll get over it, and be just as friendly as the others."

She was silent for a moment, thinking. "I understand, I think. But if he doesn't know Rico that well, how do you? I just always figured that you'd all known each other for years."

"'Round the neighbourhood, yeah, not much more. Rico helped me out a while back, and now he and I are…friends."

"Just friends?" she asked, a devious look on her face.

I laughed. "Yeah. Just friends."

"Are you sure? 'Cause he seems to like you…"

"Rico likes anything vaguely female. Plus, he already knows about—" I stopped, realising what I'd almost said. There was just something about Mel that made you want to share all your troubles. She was gonna make a great mom.

"Knows about…?" She grinned. "You're seeing someone. Behind your brothers' backs. Who?" I shook my head. "Come on, I won't tell, I promise!"

"It doesn't matter," I replied, stirring the un-popped corn absently. "We're broken up. Not that we were ever together in the first place."

"Ahh. Gabriel," she nodded knowingly.

"What? No! I mean…how did you know?" I asked, shocked that she knew. Were we that obvious?

She blushed. "The first night I was here, I overheard you…talking in the bathroom. I wasn't eavesdropping, I swear! It's just I have to go to the bathroom every five minutes with this one," she gestured to her stomach, "and I heard. I didn't say anything at first, 'cause I wasn't comfortable getting involved, then I realised no one else knew. Plus, the two of you have been sulking around all week, even before everyone else."

"Huh," I grunted, surprised she had known all along and not said anything.

"If you don't mind me asking, what's the problem between you two?"

"It's pretty simple. It started out as a casual thing, and now I want more, and he doesn't," I sighed.

"He said that?" she asked, frowning.

"Well, no. It's not like I confessed my undying love or anything. But he's not the type to settle down and live happily ever after. I just got it over my head, and now I'm letting go, moving on." I sounded about as happy as I felt.

"You care about him and you're just gonna let him go?" she asked disbelievingly.

"I'm not interested in humiliating myself! What? I go over there, confess, get shot down, then everything goes back to normal? Suuure," I replied sarcastically.

"Maybe. Or maybe you confess, and you find out he feels the same," she said quietly.

"Yeah, right." I pushed down the little spark of hope that rose inside of me.

"Listen, Kes," she began, sounding exasperated. "Things obviously aren't getting better, just worse. Maybe one day you'll both move on, but how are you going to feel seeing him with other women, knowing that there was even a small chance it could have been you if you'd just had the guts to tell him?" She shook her head sadly. "I know I'm starting to sound all 'Movie of the Week', but you can't just let these things go, or you'll regret them for the rest of your life. Don't let even the chance of happiness slip by."

I paused, thinking over what she had said.

"You're right."

"I am?" she asked hopefully.

"You really do sound 'Movie of the Week'."

"Ugggh!"

Feelings

I laughed her off at the time, but I couldn't stop thinking about what she said. I didn't have any hopes of him sharing my feelings, but I got what she meant about not knowing. I had only been a week, and already it was killing me. Deep down, I knew I'd never be able to move on if I was always wondering, and our relationship was getting worse day by day, so I figured I had nothing left to loose.

Which was why I stole Matty's keys and drove over to Gabriel's apartment, The Animals playing loud over the speakers to drown out my rebellious thoughts. I had it all planned out in my head. I'd knock on the door, he'd answer looking deliciously tempting, but I'd rise above my desire and we'd sit down. He'd be surprised to see me, and even more surprised when I told him how I felt. Being a nice guy, he'd let me down gently, suggest we gave each other a little space and then politely show me out. I'd drive home, cry myself to sleep, and that would be that.

What was that saying?

'The best laid plans of mice and men…'

By the time I got there, it was dark, the large concrete building looming above me, feeding the dread inside me. I jumped out of the truck and made my way quickly up to his floor, not giving myself time to wimp out. I was quickly rounding the corner that would lead me to his door when I bumped into someone travelling the other direction.

"Oh. You," she said unenthusiastically, eyeing my torn jeans and faded Metallica tee-shirt with disdain.

She, on the other hand was looking immaculate. Except for her mussed hair, smeared lipstick and rumpled clothes. My heart sank as I realised what she was doing here.

"Rebecca."

Obviously the shock of seeing her showed on my face, because she smirked, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Told ya he'd get bored."

With that she was gone, her clicking heels echoing through the hallway. I stood there for a moment in complete shock. I had been agonizing over telling him I loved him, and all the time he was fucking her?! It didn't matter to me that he didn't know that, that I had been giving him the cold shoulder for a week, I just couldn't believe it!

I felt the anger flow through me, wiping away my reason for being there. All I wanted to do was scream at him, tell him how much I hated him in that moment. Seeing his door was open a fraction from when Becca had left, I pushed right it not even knocking.

"What the hell was that?! Jeez, I mean of all the people! I should have figured!"

He stood there, staring at me in shock. I could see the smudges of her lipstick around his lips.

"Kes. What. The. Fuck?!"

"I saw her. Ms. Rebecca Du Monte," I mocked. "God, Gabriel! I figured you at least had better taste than that! 'Course you were messing around with her before we did, I don't why now should be any different!"