Love On the Run Pt. 03

"I have something to tell you, but before I do, I want you to tell me something."

"What?" he repeated, unsure if he could hold his temper back.

"Tell me why you joined the DEA. Tell me everything."

He turned and looked down at her, her face open and eager, eyes shuttered. Sighing he strode back to the railing and laid his forearms down on it, leaning forward. She looked so damn vulnerable right then she made him feel like a monster. "Why? Why does it matter, Jessie?"

"I need to know."

He laughed. "I don't give a damn about your needs."

"Then don't think of e as your lover. Think of me as a witness with valuable information who needs to know she can trust you."

He had never met a woman who was more convoluted, who twisted him into more knots, yet she was the only woman he'd ever met who did it without malice or intent. Fine, he'd play her games, but Julian played to win. "I didn't know what else to do. I'm going to have to back up."

"How much time before the day team comes?"

He checked his watch. "Enough."

"Continue, please."

"Where I grew up there weren't many ways out. You were poor, your parents were poor, and there was no way out except drugs or the military. My brother Al choose drugs. He was killed when I was seventeen, shot down by a rival dealer.

"I joined the Army just to get out. I wanted to go somewhere where it didn't matter where I'd come from, what my last name was, what color my skin was. The Army gave me that. I was good at what I did, and long story short, I ended up in the rangers. Not guts, no glory, they say, but all it really means is rangers get the glory because all you see is guts.

"It was hard. I was good at it, but I didn't like it. When they let me go I finished school and a friend told me I could put my skills to good use, travel the world, and meet beautiful women with the DEA. He lied, for the most part," Julian added quickly at her quirked smile.

"My dad left right after my youngest sister was born. Five kids was too many. My sisters all got married with kids of their own, all before they hit twenty. My brother Jimmy was headed in Al's footsteps until he died, hit by a car while walking our nephew to school. Mom's just not the same.

"I think sometimes she's angry at me. We're all angry, but she blames me for leaving. I came to visit her after I was discharged and she called me by my father's name. Her mind has been eaten away by losing two sons, and it kills her the two men who left have better lives. So I send checks, but I don't go back.

"I stay because I'm making a difference. The best thing is when I get those guys off the street, guys like Jimmy. When we really get through to them and they clean up their lives...that's why I stay.

"Now, what is it you wanted to tell me?"

She unfolded her arms and showed him something. Staring, Julian realized it was a locker key. "What is that?"

"It's the key to the locker where my step-father likely hid the money and whatever it is Diego wants so badly."

"Where was it?" he asked tersely, afraid she'd had it all the while.

"Hear me out. The night I left a packed a gym bag of things I needed and a backpack of things I wanted. When Henry's father sent me off to Texas all I could take was the gym bag. Henry kept the backpack all these years and dropped it off. When I looked through it tonight I found it.

"For a moment I realized I could be free. I could call Johnny Bones, give this over and buy my way out. No DEA, no red tape, just freedom, the freedom I've always wanted. Hell, the freedom to stay here if I wanted. So, I called Gonzalez."

"Jessie," he growled out but she held her palms out.

"I arranged the meeting for Friday, just like we talked about. I'm doing this right. You call the shots. It's set up for Friday, ten a.m. at the bus station. And here," she gave him the locker key, her soft hands closing her hand over it. "This is yours."

"Jessie," he started. Her eyes were wide open and trusting. "Go inside," he said quickly.

"I- I'm going to take a shower," she said and left him. The door opened to reveal agent Klein who stood there, rumpled from sleep yet his eyes were alert.

"Morning," he said and let her pass. He closed the door and pulled out his cigarettes, offering one to Julian who refused.

"Man, you better put some distance between you and that girl."

"Klein, it's none of your business."

"Look, it happens to the best of us. She's pretty, and whom among us doesn't like the whole damsel in distress thing."

Julian turned to face the city again, sighing. "Something you wanted, Klein?"

"Did you ever stop to wonder how guys like Diego and Johnny Bones, have survived so much longer than anyone else?"

"So?"

"So, they have help on the inside." At Julian's look of disbelief Klein blew out a smoke ring and shrugged. "It happens all the time. Some of us fuck witnesses and suspects, some of us take payouts, but eventually, everyone succumbs. "

"Do you know this for a fact?"

More smoke rings. "No, but it makes sense. You know how many chances we had to take down her old man back in the day? I read the file. Or even Johnny Bones now. We have a million ways to get to Diego and they've all gone to pot. Hell, even the case that got you stuck riding a desk would have paid off. It seemed overblown you got busted down."

"If you're trying to sell me something, Klein, this isn't the way."

"Somebody in our organization doesn't want Diego taken down. I heard what was said out here. That woman has an iron-clad plan to take him down. This means someone is going to try and stop her. They'll kill her or discredit her, but if you're involved with her it will happen to you too."

"There's no traitor, Klein."

"Yes there is." He unfolded a piece of a paper and set it next to Julian before climbed down the stairs as the day crew arrived.

Julian opened it and his heart nearly stopped.

Jessie was nervous as hell. It was almost time for the night shift to arrive. In the morning she would be going to meet Johnny Bones at the Greyhound station and change her fate, but t hat wasn't what had her nervous as hell. It was her last night with Julian.

He'd said he loved her, but she hadn't said it back. In all her travels one thing Jessie knew better than anyone was that romantic love was not unconditional. There had to be mutual respect and trust, but most of all love couldn't survive if not returned. Julian was a survivor, just like her, and if she didn't love him back she'd lose him.

God damn it, she thought again for the ten thousandth time. She hated ultimatums. She didn't want to lose him, but she didn't want to lose herself. If they were different people in another life they could date. Go out to dinner, get dragged to family holidays, argue over laundry and the toilet seat. But that wasn't for them. Secrecy, danger, passion was all they had, and now he wanted to change it.

This was exactly why she'd avoided men for all those years. They were nothing but trouble. The way they walked, the way they talked, those shoulders, everything about them was designed to make a woman weak and vulnerable, two things she hated feeling. Julian was the worst of the bunch.

Still, she wouldn't give in to his temper tantrum. So what if she did in fact love him? There was no future for them. So she would take the night, enjoy him, and once everything was over do her best to forget him.

She felt like a fool. Henry had been over to talk with her about the plan being put in place. She ended up crying in his arms, unable to articulate what she felt. It had been sweet, when Henry guessed Julian had done something he'd offered to kill him, but she'd declined. It wasn't Julian, it was life.

Until this was all behind her, she had no right to pursue anything that could last beyond a day or two. She'd known that rule, and she'd broken it. The second she knew who Julian really was she should have put as much distance between them as possible.

Mistakes had been made, but now it was time to clean it up. One last night, and she would make certain when Julian left her bed, he would know it was over.

The door opened and a stranger walked in.

"Hi, I'm Nikki Johnson. I'm taken over for Agent Soto tonight." The woman was tall, blonde, and looked like she could have been Xena's stunt double.

Jessie had known to expect this. Julian had given her a choice of which agent would be on point on the Friday meeting, her direct handler, and she'd chosen Soto. Aside from Julian she'd been the friendliest and most accommodating. Since the meeting was day work Soto had been given the night off to adjust her hours.

Jessie smiled at what the agent held in her hands. "Pizza. You are an angel!"

"Just experienced enough with people in protective custody. Witnesses sneak out more often for food or a movie than they do to run away."

"Really? Oh, we can eat in here, I'll get plates, napkins, and sodas. Do you drink soda?"

"Since I can't have a beer on duty I'll drink anything you got, sister."

Jessie grabbed what they needed including two Pepsis and brought it into the living room to find Johnson had already found the remote and was surfing the channels.

"You big on reality TV?" The agent asked.

"I'd rather have a root canal, actually."

"Good woman. Ooh, this is great, it's a movie, I swear. Documentary on male strippers, this troupe trying to compete with Chippendales. Don't judge me, this job kill tour sex life faster than three kids and two jobs."

Jessie merely shrugged and opened the box to reveal a thin crust pizza with pepperoni and mushrooms. "Thank you. I am getting sick of fast food everyone keeps bringing but pizza is exempt."

"That's what's great about America. A self contained complete meal with four food groups can be cooked in fifteen minutes, cooked and delivered in thirty. I love this country."

Jessie thought of all the things she'd seen in the rest of the world, the good and the bad, and had no comment. Instead she turned her attention to the screen and nearly choked. Three men danced in a club wearing what she supposed could be called costumes but showed more than they hid. They danced gyrating in a way that made Jessie laugh even as it intrigued her.

Johnson sighed. "I hate this job. We have a club like this in town. Makes me wonder if I could buy one for the night."

"Excuse me?"

Johnson wiped tomato sauce from her cheek. "This job, being a field agent. A few have tried being married. Doesn't work unless you're stationed in East Bufu, Oklahoma. Down here the most we can hope for is a night with someone. Want somebody long-term, you're gonna have to pay. That way you have something steady, but no emotional entanglements."

"Why is it so difficult?"

"Sometimes in our line of work you go undercover. When you do, you go long-term. You can't talk to friends or family for a year or more. And if you come off as celibate to your new pals they get suspicious. What wife or husband is going to put up with that?"

The final nail in the coffin, Jessie supposed. If Julian had known this, why had he said he'd loved her? If he knew it could change nothing, why bother? They lapsed into silence as Jessie thought long and hard. She kept quiet even as Johnson started rating the men.

Even if they had a future, if Julian could transfer, there was nothing for them. So tonight she would enjoy him, tomorrow she would give him the break in his career he'd been wanting, and then she would move on. And Jessie could only hope the sudden aching pain in her chest would go away.

He'd tried to stay away as long as possible. All night. In the morning Julian knew Jessie would go to the meeting and set things in place. She'd be taken to another city in protective custody while he joined the team that would take down Diego. They might see each other once more if and when Diego and Johnny Bones went to trial.

It was that thought that forced him to her room. He'd tried to nap on the couch but knowing she was feet away was killing him.

He scratched at his chin, he'd forgone shaving and it was driving him crazy as well. God, he was sweaty, dirty, unshaven, and she'd be in there all clean, and soft, smelling sweet. He thought of the way it felt sinking into her softness and closed his eyes. One last time, and then he'd be damned.

Jessie was pulled from the dream into darkness. Instantly whatever landscape she'd occupied receded to the sound of rain pattering the window. Then she heard the door close.

Turning over she rubbed sleep from her eyes and saw Julian there. He looked...dangerous. His hair was loose and his chin was stubbled. His eyes, always so strangely light, blazed in the low light. Beneath a tight black t-shirt his muscles were hard and sharply defined.

She could say nothing, just drew up to sit and clutched the sheets to her breasts. She'd gone to sleep lonely but still hopeful he would come, and so she had laid down naked. She'd thought perhaps she would have to seduce him, but Julian, but now...she wondered if she could stop him.

He said nothing, gave her plenty of time to stop him as he stalked to the bed, knelt, and crawled over her.

"Julian," she breathed out as he loomed, forcing her back against the pillows.

As he snatched the sheets away from her he made a sound like a wounded animal ready to attack, and then descended.

His hands were rough on her shoulders as he held her down. Julian claimed her lips and his tongue slid in. She tasted the heat and spice that was him, moaning. Desperate to touch him she slid her arms along his hard biceps, but suddenly he snatched her hands and pinned them.

He bit her lips and then sucked on, licking, soothing the infraction as he transferred both wrists to one of his hands. Roughly he palmed her breast with the other as he slid his denim-clad thigh between her legs.

She tried to break away, to talk to him, but he held her fast and growled. His thumb strummed her nipple quickly as his thigh rubbed her slowly, and Jessie was lost.

Pinned down helplessly she gave up, gave herself over to the pleasure he offered.

Julian felt the moment of her surrender and growled. Here and only here was where he was on control. Only in the press of their bodies did he feel he had any sort of control around her. Damn her. Damn her for being so sweet, so soft, so confusing, beguiling, and seductive. Damn her.

Jessie felt him press her deeper into the bed, and suddenly he wasn't gentle at all. Her nipple ached for more even as he roughly pinched it. His thigh pressed against her so tight she couldn't move, and his kiss became biting.

Aching sweetly she broke under the press of him and came, wailing into his mouth. Shivers wracked her and she struggled against his hold. She wanted to rip his shirt off, roll him beneath her, and ride him hard. Instead she was pinned and coming uncontrollably at his command.

He reached between them with his free hand, fumbled, and she heard the rasp of his zipper. Scooting down slightly Julian relinquished claim on her lips long enough to grip his length. He teased her, rubbing the hard head of his cock against her. She was wet, hot, soft, and ready.

Jessie gasped as he thrust in, sinking to the hilt. He'd been a wild man until the moment, and suddenly his kiss returned, softer now. He held still and pulled back long enough to pull his t-shirt off, releasing her wrists.

She didn't wait for him to finish, Jessie just stroked his chest, his back, anywhere she could reach. Julian returned to her, murmuring her name, and finally began to move. She wrapped her legs around his waist, locking her ankles, desperate to hold onto him.

He began a slow slide against her, his cock catching the spot inside her that made Jessie melt completely. His jeans rasped at her clit and he palmed her breast now. When his lips slid to her neck she shivered and reach for his ass. Cupping it in her hands she tried to urge him faster but he insisted on a slow, drugging slide.

When she arched her back Julian took advantage of the rosy nipple offered and sucked it deep. He drew his tongue in a slow, lazy circle, enjoying the hitch of her breath. He kept up his slow slide until she moaned his name, and then Julian gave in to the need, and began to pump into her as fast as he truly wanted.

Jessie was lost. She had no idea what w as happening, just that sensations hot and furious filled her, surrounded her. When Julian at last began to move she tangled her fingers in his hair and cried out as she built. He panted against her, moving hiss mouth to her other breast and repeating his devastating actions.

Over and over he filled her, rubbed against her, brought every nerve alive and made her burn. The climax began like a vortex inside her, spiraling outward, claiming her. He felt so impossibly hard inside and out, and Jessie felt her bones melt as she damn near exploded.

He swallowed her scream and let out his own cry, following her down the rabbit hole. Julian thought the top of his head might blow off. God, it had never been this good, this sweet, this powerful. She shook in hi arms, wailed in his mouth, her cunt milking him dry. He wanted it to last forever, but all too soon it passed.

"What was that?" she said after a long silence.

"We have three more hours until I take the door shift. Do you want to spend them talking?" He rolled off and outside of her and began to shrug off his pants and shoes.

"Hell no," Jessie said, and fairly tackled him.

An hour later they lay spent after two more passionate interludes. Jessie felt dazzled and drained. Beside her Julian slept and she let him, knowing he'd need it. Something shifted inside her as she looked down at him. still stubbled, hair wild, he looked like the mercenary she'd first thought him.

She didn't care if it was just the sex, but suddenly what she had to do was clear. "I love you, Julian. I don't know how, but as soon as Johnny Bones and Diego are put away, I'll find a way to be with you. And sometime tonight, or when things calm down, I'll figure out how to tell you this."

Slipping from the bed she put on her robe and opened the door, headed for the bathroom. She glanced back, and just missed his eyes closing again.

Jessie was terrified. She clutched the locker key like a lifeline as Julian paced back and forth going over the plan again and again. Agent Soto was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt similar to Jessie's, Klein stood in the kitchen door obviously itchy for a smoke, and Agent Helen Williams, the sour-faced woman who'd overseen her first phone call was back.

"One more time," Julian said, waving off the chorus of groans. "we don't know which locker the key goes to. Soto drives Jessie to the meet posing as a friend. You two will take a cab to a parking garage and pick up a beater there registered to a cover name. Jessie keeps the original and meets with Johnny Bones out front. No wires, Bones is too smart. Soto, you know the signals for the numbers?"

She sighed and took another swig of coffee, looking like death warmed over. "Been the same since the academy."

Julian nodded and smoothed his already slicked-back hair, worrying his ponytail. "Williams, you'll lead your team on Bones' house. As soon as he's distracted and Klein gives you the signal, Soto you get Jessie the hell out of there. Klein you'll take the copy and open that damn locker.

"Soto, we'll clear River Drive up to thirty-sixth. Just get her clear. At that time the other teams will take down Bones and secure the terminal. I want radio silence once Soto and Jessie exit the car until she gives the signal. Everyone moves on my order. If anything happens and you can't reach me, radio my supervisor."