The Professor Ch. 15

She tightened her lips and grudgingly gave in, "Yes..."

"Look at me Phylissia Carole Wright, the love of my life, soon to be my wife," I urged her and she slowly raised her face to mine revealing the tears that our discussion prompted. I wiped her tears and held her in my arms, "Oh my sweet, brilliant, beautiful wife. I love you so. You astonish me with your brilliance and intellect so why would you denigrate the wonder of you – God made you this brilliant – are you kidding me? I hope you'll take their offer. I see how hard you work and how much of you that goes into your teaching...no baby you might get away with that 'I got this cause I'm black thing' with someone else but not with me. I know how brilliant you are and don't try to tell me I'm biased – I know I am about you and us but this is about your intellect and abilities and there's no bias in me about that - you're the best of the best." Lissia realized she wouldn't win this argument and began holding me close and when we're like this we end up in bed. We spent the remainder of the morning in bed sharing our love. She had loved me through a very ominous time in my life and never let go of me – her loving touch brought calm and balm to my savaged heart. She says that we reclaimed one another – it's the one thing that we'll agree to disagree on.

After a long while we showered and called Mom telling her that we were coming to pick her up for lupper (lunch/supper) that we had some news to share. Mom was excited to see us, "I'm glad you called me I got home late and wanted some lunch but looked at the clock and thought, 'rats I'll ruin supper'." She hugged and kissed us. She and Lissia chatted while I changed clothes and hung up my uniform. I came out and collected my ladies and we headed to Harwell's Barbecue.

The Harwells were glad to see us and just started bringing food. While we were eating I told her about the promotion and the CER, "I've been promoted to Cadent Unit Commander Mom and got a 100 on the CER."

She patted my hand, "Your Daddy would be proud of you like Phylissia and I are – I love you two very much," she started crying a little, "I'm gonna miss you when you go off to the Army Steven – Phylissia and I will be pretty lonely but we'll make do won't we baby?" Lissia and Mom hugged and cried a little bit while I felt pretty uncomfortable like I was running out on them – they eventually turned their attention back on me.

Lissia smiled and stroked my hand with one hand and held it with the other, "Steven is number one in his Unit and should be the Distinguished Military Graduate and is a member of the Nation Military Honor Society Scabbard and Blade," she smiled and kissed me.

Mom got very emotional and began tearing up again. We were all thinking about Dad. I could feel him nearby – I know that sounds strange but there are times when you can almost feel the presence of that lost person in your life and this was one of those times. "Steven I know how proud your Daddy was of you and his buttons would be popping off his shirt right now, me too son, me too."

While were enjoying our meal and our time together, I purposely asked Lissia how her sabbatical was going and she talked animatedly about the experience. It had been going so well that the Private university offered her a position as a professor. She started laughing about that, "I know why they offered me a full professorship...I'm black and they don't have any black professors...so they asked me."

Mom looked shocked and patted her hand, "Darlin' it may be the reason for someone but you don't know how gifted a teacher you are. Steven has told us about your work and how he admires your ability to explain complicated topics as though they're the simplest things in the world. I don't believe it's because you're black I believe they see the gifts that you have in teaching."

I massaged Lissia's neck, "Sweetheart you don't see what I see and what Mom sees. We've watched you in extremely difficult situations hold your own and not back down from what you know to be the truth. You dealt with your parents, your pastor, Evie, with several arrogant and ill-intentioned boys and taught them a lesson all about how to love freely. It's your deep well of empathy and your capacity to rise above the most brutal of circumstances to be this wonderfully brilliant teacher and scientist of societal behavior. Your beauty and grace are the whipped cream and cherry."

Lissia had tears in her eyes, "you two are biased..." she wept and I held her close to me. We talked for a while with the Harwells who were equally smitten by Lissia and her grace and polish. It was as though she was blooming right before my eyes. I love her so much.

The days were growing short for us as the school year was ending and once again I would be traveling to Ft. Benning for further training as the intensity would be ramping up. Lissia could feel the stress for both of us and how it would impact her. As we grew in our love she would become integral in our family life and with Mom. They were getting so very close to each other. Mom had always wanted a daughter and she got one in Lissia. They talked on the phone when I wasn't there. I loved the relationships that were growing because of love not the lust that called us from our corners of the separate worlds into one time and one moment for one another. Now we had become what we so desperately sought – family. There was a void that Dad filled and it was his impetus that pushed the truth of how we were to feel about one another without regard to our race. I regret that I didn't say it to him...Lissia saw that in Dad and loved his heart openly. She missed that in her own father and that was something I saw in their relationship – the distance that she tried to recover with limited success unfortunately for Cyrus.

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We had a few weeks together before it was time again to head to Ft. Benning again. This time the training would round out the initial infantry training for leaders which was an intensified infantry MOS (military occupational skill) that all infantryman receive coupled with leadership coursework as a continuation of the ROTC school year work. Everyone in this course was ROTC. I had a little more freedom and was afforded a Cadet Platoon Leader slot for eight-weeks. Richard Carls got a Platoon Leader slot as well which is great for two students from the same university to achieve that honor. We worked extra hard and finished in the top three and were offered the chance to add another skill set by extending four weeks to complete the Army Pathfinder Course. The training included insertions by helicopter not just the traditional parachute jumps to establish landing zones (LZs), infiltration and exfiltration routes. Of course this training kept Richard and me away from our sweethearts which was difficult for us and them. There were ten of us who attended the Pathfinder Course from our cycle of infantry training – Richard and I were the only two from Texas and when we graduated we hopped a MAC (Military Assistance Command flight) out of Warner Robins Air Force Base near Macon Georgia that took us to Ellington Air Force Base near my Mom's home. They were all waiting for us. Our uniforms now included jump wings, bloused Corcoran jump boots, the officer brass of crossed rifles for our branch assignment, our pathfinder badges and our maroon berets signifying pathfinder status. We were beginning to look the part of soldiers anyway.

Lissia had picked up Mom to meet me. I was so glad to be home to hold her in my arms. I was pretty lonely this time with Dad being gone and even though I got a lot of mail from Lissia and Mom I missed my dad's brief even terse notes on how to present myself militarily. Our homecoming was caught on film by some photographers from the Houston chronicle and our picture made it into the paper. Fortunately Lissia had accepted the position at the Private university so she got not heat from the University where I was studying – we didn't give them our names and no one could identify us. The caption simply read a soldier and his girl greet one another at Ellington. We drove to Mom's home where I changed into civilian clothes. We had a long conversation with Mom. She had cooked a pot roast with rice and pan gravy, lots of salad and ice tea and of course peach pie with hot coffee for dessert. After twelve weeks of Army chow I needed real food. Mom updated me on a few high school friends one had died in Nam and another was seriously wounded. Those two buddies spent a lot of time in our home growing up.

Lissia was beginning to sense the grave risks now. I held her left hand in mine kissing her ring, "I won't be so naïve as to tell you not to worry."

She was very quiet, "Don't do that. I'm gonna worry baby – I'm so scared right now I can't get my breath."

I slid my arm around her waist and pulled her to me, "I know sweetheart I wish I could make your fear go away – I can't."

She turned to face me, "Steven it's the time like this where my heart hurts that I can't give you a baby. I want a part of you forever and my heart hurts so badly that I can't do that for you – I feel like half a woman..." She wept quietly with Mom and me as I held her.

Mom came over and put her arms around her too, "Oh sweet child I know this is hard but you two have more than most couples – you have a very strong love for one another – you've gone beyond like to love and your futures together. Hold on to one another tightly – the world can't touch you my babies."

Lissia calmed down enough for us to help clean up the dishes and put away the leftovers. We were staying at Mom's house tonight so we made up the sleeper sofa. We didn't have to worry about Hal he had joined the Navy and was in boot camp. Georgie was at the lake with his girlfriend so we had the house to ourselves. We would still respect Dad wishes and save our sexual relationship for when we got home. It was good to hold Lissia in my arms again. The separation really makes the heart grow fonder. We whispered and kissed and held each other all night, waking in one another's arms.

Lissia became more and more beautiful with each passing day. Her countenance had changed. "Lissia every time I see you, you are more beautiful and so much more relaxed," I stroked her cheek, brushing her hair back.

"It's you Steven."

"What is me?"

"It's how you treat me and love me that has changed me inside. I'm not even remotely that person you first met almost two years ago. You never hesitated to love me to touch me to hold to be tender with me. So many white folk through the years have acted like our skin color would rub off and stain their skin. You love me so easily and so beautifully I have to wake up and pinch myself just to make sure I'm not dreaming. I wake up sometimes and just watch you sleep. I touch your face and you always pull me to you – and when we're in public you behave as though I'm the only person alive – you never hesitate..." Her eyes were so tender.

"Sweet baby mine you are the only person alive for me. As sure as there is a God in heaven you are the only woman for me – you're the one God sent for me. We've always had a powerful sexual attraction for each other but there was from the beginning an unspoken acknowledgement at first that there was more to us than sex," I confessed to her.

She smiled, "Yes – you're right about that. I can still hear me telling you that I'm black and you saying you noticed that about me – oh God Steven you just took my heart by storm – with you we've always been normal...you know...I mean this is the 1960s who thinks that black and white couples are normal other than us and maybe that sweet Janet Pullen now that she's met us. I now believe that we'll be able to marry one day soon – the Supreme Court has a case that I'm sure they're gonna rule in favor of this black woman - white man married couple from Virginia, making miscegenation laws unconstitutional. I can't wait to be your wife legally in the eyes of the state of Texas. I don't want to run away to get married and live away from home."

"I know baby - me too," my heart hurt so badly over this issue that it always felt like a heart attack I imagined would feel. I held onto her for a very long time – I couldn't get enough of her in my arms, smelling her hair, feeling her soft skin and touch of her sweet lips, her soft sighs as lay still together. I loved the way stray hairs would break loose and frame her face as though they were forest ferns adding dimensions her features in sweet and endearing mental images that would linger with me for nearly fifty years. Her long sleek neck and smooth face atop her graceful shoulders curving gently down her back and nicely rounded cheeks long, strong legs like a dark gazelle that allowed her the beauty of movement that stopped me wherever I was to watch her glide so effortlessly...she never knew how beautiful she was growing up because of an evil act...I prayed every day that she knew now. I was memorizing her in fine detail for the evitable of my future. I knew there were going to be times when she would seem so far away that I would need to remind myself that there is beauty, grace and elegance in the world waiting for us – and she was mine into eternity.

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Graduation came with great trepidation for Mom and for Lissia. They were going to pin my lieutenant's bar (actually Dad's gold bars) on my epaulets after I received my dual degrees. Under my graduation mortar board, gown and Master's hood was my uniform. There were some protesting booing when it was announced that I would commissioned a second lieutenant at the afternoon ceremony – the protests against the Vietnam War had hit our campus. I had become a target of the protestors that day as did all of my fellow ROTC graduates. The only good thing that came out of the booing was the crowd cheered louder than the protestors booed.

After the degree awarding at the college ceremonies we retired to the gymnasium for the ROTC commissioning ceremony. I felt very conspicuous when LTC Calwell called my name and he then asked my Mom and Lissia to come forward to pin on my bars. He advised everyone there that because I had graduated at the top of our class and that I had applied for and been granted my commission as a regular Army commission rather than a reserve officer commission which carried with it a lifetime commitment to the military. He went on to explain that I had been the unit executive officer and commander, and was heading to Ft. Benning for the Infantry Officer Basic Course and then to the United State Army Ranger Training. I could feel the tears rolling down my face as I thought about Dad and how I wished he was with us. Lissia held tightly onto my hand and arm with her hands. I could feel her watching me. I was trying desperately to control my emotions but Dad wasn't here – I hadn't worked hard enough or quickly enough for him to see this take place. LTC Calwell announced that my Dad would have been proud to be here and sadly shared his passing with those gathered. The gymnasium was deathly quiet as he said, "Steven's mother Mrs. Marsha Edwards and his beautiful fiancé Dr. Phylissia Wright will stand in his father's stead pinning on 2nd Lieutenant Steven Michael Edwards' gold bars as a regular Army officer – the same gold bars that his father Major Peter Edwards a two-time recipient of the Distinguished Service Cross for valor, wore." He then asked me to raise my right hand for the administration of my oath of office and repeat after him, "I, Steven Michael Edwards, having been appointed an officer in the Army of the United States, as indicated above in the grade of Second Lieutenant do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign or domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservations or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office upon which I am about to enter; So help me God." I hugged and kissed Mom as she cried and then Lissia and I hugged and kissed with our lover's kiss for the whole world around us to see. I didn't realize that we had received a standing ovation. I think it was because we had broken through a bigotry barrier and not anything I had accomplished.

We took our seats and waited as each graduating senior was commissioned. Richard graduated as DMG also and chose to receive a regular Army commission because of his academic and military success. He and I would be traveling to Ft. Benning together again – he would become my Ranger Buddy. He and Maria Elena were married by now and their lives had started together in earnest. We were thrilled for them. After the ceremony Richard, Elena, his parents, her parents, Mom, Lissia and I were standing talking when one of my ROTC fellow graduates Wesley Reissen, also a DMG, joined us with his fiancé, a beautiful young black woman whom Lissia had already met, Janet Pullen, who was now a seminary student at Union Theological Seminary in New York and Wesley was heading to Ft. Benning with us.

Janet came to Lissia and hugged her, "You gave me the courage to say yes to Wesley. Thank you both for being so brave for us."

Maria Elena spoke up, "That goes double for Richard and me. If you two hadn't been so courageous and unyielding in the face of all this bigotry we would not have had the courage to go forward." There wasn't a dry eye among us.

LTC Calwell joined us, "Well this is a gathering of eagles if I've ever seen them. Steven I know your Dad was watching you receive these accolades. Very few people realize how hard you have worked just like Richard and Wesley. All of the stress of studies for a bachelor/master's degree program, ROTC and being so bold as to love the woman of your dreams – we all admire the courage that you and the very accomplished Dr. Wright have displayed for us. May God bless you. Now go enjoy your thirty days before you report to your assignments - all of you – I have some incoming freshmen to break in..." he smiled and walked away.

We all said our goodbyes for a while. Lissia, Maria Elena and Janet would form a tight circle of Army wives and fiancés. We hugged, kissed and shook hands. Richard, Wesley and I would ride to Benning in my car so we'd see each other soon enough. Lissia and I were going to Mom's house for a graduation barbecue and then we would go home to spend our last thirty days together for a while. We didn't know what was waiting for us. Lissia's parents didn't come even though we invited them – she was understandably disappointed – but we were going to go see them anyway.

We made the rounds of friends, professors and family. The trip to Lissia's parents' home was a tense on yet again. This time I met all of her family. There was no room in her family for a white guy or for the woman who'd marry a white guy. Her parents got swayed by their Marcus Garvey-influenced preacher. We had planned to spend a few days there but left after a few hours. Our circle of friends had shrunk to the faithful. We went to visit my pastor and his wife; high school teachers and then we went home to our home and planned our wedding. The Supreme Court, on June 12, 1967 dismantled miscegenation laws in the landmark case of Loving v. State of Virginia and we were ecstatic. There were a few barriers yet to overcome – the fourteen day waiting period for blood tests to get a license and the $25 marriage license fee which we had. We decided that we'd get married after I finished Ft. Benning and before my next assignment. We went to Pino's to celebrate and joined Dr. Hunter and his wife Estelle. It was a joyous evening with dear friends. Pino sat with us for a while and chatted, we ate and talked, ate and talked. It was late when we left for home.