spanking saved our marriage

Poem Info
114 words
4.17
2.8k
0
8
Poem does not have any tags
Share this Poem

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here
Ashesh9
Ashesh9
155 Followers

spanking .....saved our marriage
every morning it's Thump ..Thump ..Thump
swatting a badminton racquet on her plump
reddened .....rump !
the perversion is mutual
& consensual....
& as enjoyable as can be
my wife is a vanilla Begum
a vanilla Begum's she
she dislikes intercourse intensely
" why must Lingam rape Yoni ????"
but spanking's a different ball game
she happily bares bottie
'n bends over , without inhibition/shame
spanking with badminton paddle
taketh away painful sting
the twanging criss-crossed wires
to her bottom a peaceful joy doth bring....
in her mind
she does find
an alien submissive lass
who to her Dom Hubby proffers a
bountiful , bouncy , botticellean Ass !

Ashesh9
Ashesh9
155 Followers
Please rate this poem
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
8 Comments
Ashesh9Ashesh9over 7 years agoAuthor
Mer : i've submitted a new version incorporatin' GM's suggestions

But botticellian is still spelt as per earlier version : plz hv a look & don't worry my Badminton racquet only does consensual no non- consent !!!

legerdemerlegerdemerover 7 years ago
Playful

This one I really like! Playful but also touching in a funny way.

I could go either way on the line "why must..." - in this contest, rape didn't quite have the impact it usually does, but I also agree that it is not a necessary line from the reader's viewpoint. You may have personal reasons for including it.

I love the playfulness throughout, but in these lines it takes on a sing-song quality:

"& as enjoyable as can be

my wife is a vanilla Begum

a vanilla Begum's she

she dislikes intercourse intensely"

A tiny itsy bitsy quibble - should be Botticellian, but that last line is a terrific ending!

And yes, I'm avoiding your racquet-swinging skills as well.

Ashesh9Ashesh9over 7 years agoAuthor
GM , thank you for the comments : am submitting a revised version with your

Suggestions / improvements

Watch the NP thread for it ...

greenmountaineergreenmountaineeralmost 8 years ago
PS

I showed this to my wife. She chuckled and then said, "In your dreams.............Buddy Boy!

greenmountaineergreenmountaineeralmost 8 years ago

I like this Ash........enough to parse it. I'm having some fun with the punctuation, which leads me to my first point:

I usually don't agree with your extended punctuation marks because I think they're shortcuts for emphasis or pause when words would be better, but in lines 1 & 4 they're very effective. It isn't necessary in line 6 IMO because the line ending creates the pause.

"My wife is a vanilla Begum" is the line of the week. I like a poem where the imagery is clear, except for a word or two. In the age of the internet, it's no big deal to Google. When I learned who a "Begum" was, I both chuckled and thought about the many cross cultural differences, speaking of which, the word "rape" took away briefly the light hearted edge off the poem for me. Delete the line!!!! It detracts, my friend.

"bottie" and the anachronistic words, "taketh" and "doth" re-establish the playfulness of the poem. You revert to "does" two lines later. I'd stay with a second "doth."

Lastly, "bountiful, bouncy, botticellean Ass" is my second most favorite line of the week.

This was a fun read, my friend.

Show More
Share this Poem