Chelsea's Twelve Days of Christmas

"I get it," Chelsea said. "I don't understand how you let it get out of control, but I get it." She had her own issues with anxiety where Harry was concerned.

"No I don't think you do," Riley said giving her a hard stare. "I loved him. I still do to some degree. I wanted to be that perfect partner for him so badly. He can tell you he was the bad guy and ended things because of the drugs, but he didn't, it didn't help, but he didn't end it over that." She began to explain. "How could I not love him?" Riley asked. "My guess is that you are beginning to fall for him too."

Chelsea made a noise of protest and looked at her friend with wide eyes as she shook her head slowly in denial.

"Then what is wrong with you? He is everything we wished for in a proposal. He's rich and powerful, but he's also a good guy. He looks after the people who work for him and gives so much time and money to people who need and deserve it," Chelsea said as if selling the man. "I kept waiting for the chink in his armour, I pushed and goaded him and every time I was left feeling guilty; because he dealt with me in such a caring way. It's funny," she laughed, "He'd punish me for the smallest and most inconsequential things but when there was a real problem he was always so calm and caring."

"You know, don't you?" Chelsea whispered, thinking about having tried to goad him into punishing or releasing her the night before.

"He won't punish you for the fun it unless he knows it would be enjoyed by the both of you. If you want that and trust me you won't be disappointed, you have to tell him, not goad him into it," Riley said softly. "He's into it, you know, all that pain is pleasure bondage stuff that you used to tell me about. I get what you were saying now, and he's great at, well you can find out for yourself but trust me he's really into it. Ask him to take you to the attic; it's like a freakin' dungeon set up," she grinned. "Who knew I'd end up liking that sort of thing, but he's great at pretty much everything he does, you know."

Chelsea could hear the affection in her friend's voice as she spoke of Harry and she wondered gain why her friend had turned to the equivalent of uppers and downers to get through her days here.

"He makes a good friend as well as a lover. I could talk to him about everything. I talked a lot about you, sorry, but I missed you so much especially when I messed up, which was often. I bet you haven't messed up once at one of the events you've been to or said anything dumb to an important person," Riley sighed knowing the question was rhetorical. "Of course you didn't because you're Miss Perfect."

"You could be Mr and Mrs Perfect if the two of you would just stop trying to be so in control and proper all the time," she said. "Look at me I am ecstatically happy; Gary is too because we are human and make mistakes and can laugh about them and forgive each other. I don't have to be the epitome of the perfect lady twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Yes, it's important to him, to both of us, but there has to be some downtime, or we will burn out," she laughed.

"I'm far from perfect," Chelsea shook her head again.

"I think he fell a little in love with you or at least the idea of you, from me talking about you so much. You were always there to stop me before I did or said dumb shit at school. On my own, I was a walking disaster here. I hated that. I hated feeling like I could never be the woman he wanted and I would tell him that he wanted you not me, that he had made a mistake. You are the only one I know who could measure up to his high standards, and I told him so," Riley admitted.

"Why would you do that?" Chelsea asked. "You know me better than anyone, why would you put me in this position?"

"What position? The one where he won't let you go, because you threw a tantrum or the one where you have to face the fact that you can't go through the rest of your life without caring about the rest of us?" Riley asked bluntly.

"The one where If I did have feelings for him I would feel like I would be betraying you because you loved him and still do," Chelsea ignored the point of what she had said.

"Well, at least you'd be feeling something even though that is a pretty far stretch from the reality of the situation." Riley accused, holding up her hand so that her huge engagement ring sparkled in the sunlight. "I know you got the shit end of the deal when it came to family and friends in the past but you can't think you can go through life without caring about anyone else or having them care about you. I love you Chelsea, and I know you love me, or at least care about me, or you wouldn't have felt so betrayed by what I did."

"I really need a shower," Chelsea said looking away and retreating from the conversation she knew was coming.

"Chelsea stop, I'm your friend, I love you like a sister," Riley tried to get through the wall she had just seen go up. "You were Madame's pet for two years, and she is heartsick without you, she hasn't taken another in two years since you joined Innamorata. If you show her the slightest concern she will rush you back there, just to keep you close because she loves you in her strange way and wants you back."

"I love her too, but that's not the life I want. I've worked too hard to get what I want. There are other proposals," she said turning back toward Riley. "This was just a two-week contract, not a proposal so that I won't have failed," she said more confidently than she felt. "You ended your arrangement, and you are happier than I've ever seen you."

"Only because Harry saw to it that no one knew and went to Gary himself to explain the mismatch was his fault. Their old friends you know," Riley smiled. "Even you didn't know about the break up until your graduation ball."

It was true she had been surprised when Harry told her the news. It didn't matter though she'd done everything she could to bury her past and she had no intention of dredging it up; just to satisfy some man's morbid curiosity. She just needed to know that the person she accepted a proposal from had been vetted by Isabella and the rest would work itself out. She could play the doting wife, without having to fall in love.

"No one wants a loveless marriage Chelsea, no one," Riley said as if reading her mind. "Not one of those men who've offered you a proposal will want a robot, who just goes through the motions. You're capable of love. You said it yourself; you love Madame. Do you want to remain with her indefinitely because it could happen if you don't stop this?" Riley warned. She went to her friend then and hugged her tightly.

Chelsea didn't return the embrace as she stood still, her thoughts rolling with the harsh truth of Riley's words.

"Chelsea, you are loveable. It doesn't matter who's proposal you choose, feelings are going to be involved, and the men we deal with have the resources and people at their disposal to investigate your past and find out for themselves why you seem so cold and distant." Riley let that idea sink in before talking again. "I doubt very much anyone else would be as patient as Harry is and let you learn to trust him and tell him about it yourself."

"He hasn't made a proposal. I only signed a contract for these two weeks. There's no reason to tell him anything about my past," Chelsea's mind was reeling. She turned and left the gym and began walking up the stone steps to the house.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that but at least think about what I said," Riley hurried to catch up with her. "Promise me, you won't ask Madame to arbitrate a mismatch for you when she arrives. She wants you back at her side Chelsea, and I'm not sure she will let you go again if you can't even handle a week with Mr Perfect, let alone accept the proposal I know he's made."

"How would you know that?" Chelsea said not believing that he would have made a proposal on top of this short-term contract. Why would he have done both, when his proposal would have probably outweighed any others.

"How do you think I know?" Riley rolled her eyes. "You two are perfect for each other he won't overwhelm you with gushy over the top emotions because he is so, well he's so Harry. You know I'm right, and the next guy might expect far more from you than you could ever hope to give. Likewise, you won't ever be treated like anything but the lady he expects you to be. You like rules and expectations, he likes to make the rules and have high expectations. On top of that, you're smart and can talk to him about stuff I never could."

Chelsea could admit that Riley made sense about their compatibility and continued walking through the house to her suite with Riley tagging along behind her silently not wanting to say anything else where they could be overheard. When they entered her rooms, Chelsea was so overwhelmed by Riley's words of advice, she was almost in tears and turned to look at her friend.

"I can handle failing because of the way I am now. If I fail, it is on my terms. If he finds out about my past and rejects me because of it," she paused, feeling the tears prickle at the back of her eyes. "I couldn't handle that. I can't tell him, I don't want to think about it, I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to relive it, and I don't want to be judged because of it."

"Then let me tell him your story, don't let him find out second-hand rumours and innuendo. I guarantee he won't judge you," Riley said. "Madame and I never did, you can trust him, Chelsea, he's a good man I promise."

"Riley, I do love you, and I have heard everything you have said but can you just back off a little bit now. Let me shower and change before Gary gets here, and I have to play the perfect hostess," Chelsea said with a weary voice. All of the endorphins that had made her feel better during her workout had suddenly deserted her, and she felt dreadful again.

"Okay, I'll see you downstairs soon," Riley said uncertainly and let Chelsea walk into the bathroom alone and close the door.

*****

Chelsea had stood under the running water trying to work out what she wanted. It wouldn't be a bad life back at the school, but she knew only too well that could and more than likely would change in time. Her place at Madame's side and in her bed had never been guaranteed. She knew that It was not the life she wanted where she could be replaced when a younger more beautiful girl came to the school. She wanted a life where she could live comfortably, without fear and be able to help young women like herself, who had been forced into bad situations by betrayal and lies by other means.

She sat down on the cold tiled floor of the shower cubicle and cried letting the water wash her tears away. What would she do if she told Harry who she was and what had happened and he rejected her? Go home with Madame until she too rejected her for a younger woman and then what? In choosing Innamorata, she had turned down several entry level jobs that came up for graduates after university. Would she ever have those opportunities again? Did she want them?

She didn't know how long she'd been sitting there when the water stopped, and she looked up into Harry's worried face. She knew she was out of options where he was concerned. They had guests downstairs that she had ignored. She knew any apology she could make now would never be enough for her rude behaviour on top of what she had done the last night.

"Please stop," she said quietly taking the towel from his hands. "Why can't you just be an asshole like every other man?"

"I can line up a lot of people who will tell you I'm an asshole and mean it if that will make you happier," he said easily walking from the bathroom to her bedroom. "Actually, there's one downstairs waiting to meet you."

"Gary thinks you're an asshole?" she frowned at him.

"Most of my friends do because they know that side of me as well as the side they like. Everyone has different sides of their personality they show at various times. Trust me I can be an asshole when it's called for." He handed her the corset she had worn on the first night and matching underwear. Then he helped tighten the laces almost impossibly tight. "Hair and makeup," he commanded as he went back into the wardrobe to go through her clothes.

Harry kept her moving and talking and when they went back downstairs to the conservatory she was every inch the lady again and ready to host their guests.

"I'm so sorry I kept you waiting," Chelsea said and smiled as she walked into the room.

"I only just arrived, I was wondering where the big man was," Gary said returning her smile. "I totally understand why he was helping you, now that I have seen that dress," he chuckled.

"Well, that was good timing then," Harry said clasping his friend's hand. "How was your game his morning?"

"Shit," Gary spat. "Next subject?"

"How are the wedding plans coming along?" Harry asked.

"It's gonna be one hell of a party," Gary said looking lovingly down at Riley. "I'm a lucky man. I hear you're going to be a bridesmaid," he said to Chelsea.

"My schedule is still a little up in the air, but I am planning on making it a priority," she smiled, giving Riley a surprised look. The conversation stayed light and easy, and Chelsea became as always the perfect hostess. She found she liked Gary a lot and could see why Riley was so happy. Whereas, even when he was relaxed Harry held an air of reserved formality, Gary was down to earth and laughed as he spoke. Chelsea found herself wondering what sort of business he was in and if he was always this laid back in his day to day life.

Although she laughed and talked for well over an hour with their guests, Chelsea's mind continued to work. Isabella would be arriving soon, and she wasn't sure what to tell her, and she found herself wanting to talk to Harry about what he had said and would say. He had called Riley because he had said he wanted her to have a friend to talk to and that he had hoped having Isabella arbitrate was no longer necessary. If she wasn't coming to arbitrate why was she coming? She wanted to know what he had been thinking.

The men had gone to Harry's office to discuss a business project they were both involved in, leaving Chelsea alone with Riley again.

"Look, I'm sorry I came on a bit strong earlier, I didn't mean to upset you," Riley said. "I just know you are perfect for each other and I don't want to see you throw that away for some impossible dream," she tried to explain. "I know you don't want to hear it, but there is a real joy in trusting someone enough to be vulnerable to them."

"I heard you, I heard everything you said, but you just have to let me deal with it in my own way now," Chelsea said abruptly having been brought back to the reason she was here. She'd realised in the shower that this was all her own fault. If she had just kept her feelings in check or at least ignored them and not tried to push Harry into some sort of impasse last night, none of this would be happening. It had snowballed out of control, and she knew she had no choice in what needed to be done, but she did have a choice about how she would do it. If he wanted her to trust him, he would need to earn that trust.

"Okay, this time I heard you," Riley smiled picking up her phone. "Now let's talk bridesmaid's dresses. I was thinking baby pink and hideously frilly, so I wouldn't have to compete with you on my wedding day."

"Gee thanks," Chelsea rolled her eyes. They'd been talking about the wedding plans for some time when Gary came back into the room.

"Time to hit the road, my love," he smiled widely at Riley. "It was a pleasure to meet you properly Chelsea. I'm sure I'll be seeing a great deal more of you as the wedding gets closer."

"I certainly hope so," she responded easily seeing Harry follow him into the room. They walked to the door together, and Chelsea was surprised to see Isabella walking up the stairs as they opened to door to farewell Riley and Gary.

"Madame," the two women said in unison as she reached the top of the stairs and performed a small curtsey.

"Isabella, always a pleasure," Gary said leaning in to kiss her cheek in a familiar way. "I'm sorry we can't stay; we're running late already I'm afraid."

"That's a shame," she said looking disappointed. "I would have loved to have heard about your plans for the wedding."

Chelsea felt anxious as the woman she had enjoyed a relationship with for the past two years looked at her with a small knowing smile. She suddenly felt vulnerable in a whole different way, and she almost flinched when Harry took her hand as she stood silently during the farewells and greetings that were occurring in front of her. Riley's warnings about Isabella's motivations rang in her head as she considered the look the woman was giving her.

It was early afternoon, and they walked into the living room taking their seats in comfortable chairs. Isabella placed a digital notebook on the table with a smile and turned to Harry with a tilt of her head.

"You're sure about this?" she asked.

"I think it's important at this stage for Chelsea to know all of the options available to her in the New Year. It will not change our contract, and she will stay until the twenty-seventh regardless of what she decides to do on the twenty-eighth," he said formally. "A little transparency in business arrangements like this is what's called for in this unusual situation I think."

"Unusual situation?" Chelsea whispered her question. She was feeling anxious and surprisingly out of her depth despite Harry calling it a business arrangement.

"Contracts such as the one we have are rare for graduates. Usually final year students engage in them to gain further experience to guide their decision if they are being sought after heavily. That option wasn't available to you, Chelsea, and due to the delicate nature of the failed relationship and Riley's reputation, I was afforded this boon before you chose from the proposals made," Harry explained. "As in all business negotiations, there are deals to be made for those with the where-with-all."

She nodded, but it surprised Chelsea to hear that an option made available to other graduates had not been made available to her and she puzzled over that, hearing Riley's warnings about Isabella's attachment to her in her mind again. She was becoming confused by the idea that everyone wanted something different from her and she took a deep, steadying breath. She knew she needed to decide once and for all what she wanted out of this meeting and her contract with Harry.

The proposals held in Isabella's notebook were what she had worked toward for two years. It was what she wanted, and if Harry had the best proposal, she would tell him everything and let the chips fall where they may. If it wasn't then, she would stay one more week with the knowledge that she would be leaving him and harden her heart for the separation. Cold and distant she could do, even Riley had said that about her.

"Well, I will leave you ladies to discuss the future, I will be in my office. Mrs Thomas is always close by should you need anything," Harry said with a small nod of respect to Isabella and left the room.

"Such a delightful man, I don't think I could have parted with you to anyone else. We must go through the process however as I am sure you can understand," Isabella said sitting up straighter and beginning to sound more like a business woman. "As you know, we will rate them in three different rounds, and I will leave you to consider the final proposals during the holidays. You can make your final decision on New Year's Eve, a kind of resolution if you like."

Chelsea nodded, feeling overwhelmed by the last twenty-four hours. Isabella brought up a spreadsheet on the tablet which listed the proposals by type. Of the twelve proposals, available to her, there were six marriage proposals, two proposals for adoption and four courtesan agreements. She smiled remembering the lovely old couple who had spoken of adoptions at her graduation ball. She'd talked to Isabella honestly about what she wanted and expected from a proposal and was surprised by the list.