Mrs. Coleman’s Last Brooklyn Exit

Tiffany said, "I get it; you're on that kick again."

I tried to deny it. "No, I was just saying that it was a good movie."

Tiffany put on a pretty good imitation of Gloria Swanson, gestures and all. " 'I'll show them; I'll be up there again, so help me!' "

Holly said, "Do you want us to buy you a necktie or something and get it all out in the open?"

I had to pretend that I wasn't serious, "I don't want a tie; I want a car."

"What would you like?"

"How about a 1971 Plymouth Cricket?"

She laughed, "It will break down as you're leaving the lot."

I realized what was really bothering me, but I wasn't going to tell them about it. It wasn't about money and gifts; it was about me exchanging tokens of affection and sex with them. With Cathy, there were now three such women.

Sure, they were all very kind to me, but that wasn't the point. The seventeen and twenty-one-year age differences were ultimately insurmountable. I had already fallen for Holly, pretty hard in fact. But I couldn't tell her that, and I knew she'd never tell me about her own feelings.

No one ever leaves a star; that's what makes a star. Eventually, somebody was going to have to leave this comfortable little arrangement, and that would be me. I wondered how it would be done without everybody getting their feelings hurt.

As if on cue, the talk came around to sex. Tiffany said, "Do you know that Swanson was married six times? Plus she found time for affairs, like with Joe Kennedy Senior."

I wasn't surprised that Holly came up with something witty, elaborate, and dirty. "She must have been a real left-handed screw." I knew the screw metaphor -- the metallic kind - somehow led to the idea that a certain woman's vagina felt particularly good on a man's cock.

Tiffany had her own contribution. She started singing, " 'Where have you gone, Joe Maggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you, woo hoo hoo.' "

Holly said, "Come on, that lady was a real bitch." She then turned her attention directly to me. "And we're not like that, are we Paul?" I could tell she was assessing me, and she was pretty sharp. "You're actually a rather uptight guy."

"That's just my nature."

"Well, try to relax a bit, okay?"

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