Sam Spade 03: Case of the Fallen Angel

When the last had finished, the bedroom was filled with silent kneeling women with masks on their laps. As one, they all turned their heads to the door and I was Jimmy walk in. Like the others, he sat before me. Unlike the others he was still dressed and looked at me with his dopy grin, "I knew you would be here Red." He looked down at the pistol in my hand and then up at me, "Don't tell me you plan on ruining all our hard work are you?"

"I cannot live with the knowledge James. It's tearing me apart." I said as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"You don't know the whole story Sam." Jimmy said resting his hand on top of mine.

"I do... I abandoned you, burned my lover to death, and killed daddy though my heartlessness." I said brokenly. "If anyone deserves to die... it is me. I can't take the memories knowing I killed or ruined everything I loved. Even them," I nodded my head in the direction of the women kneeling behind him, "they don't see it, but I tainted each woman here with my touch."

Jimmy shook his head, "No Samantha... Listen to me," he took the pistol gently out of my hand and placed it beside us, then took my hands in his as he talked. "When I went off to college, I found another. That's why I didn't come back to you. It was not you Sam, it was me." His eyes looked through me, "She was smart, beautiful, and she was everything I could ask for. I didn't know how to tell you, so I just abandoned you. When Cheri left me, I realized what I had lost in you. But by then it was too late, you had found another."

Jimmy paused so long I thought he was done. He had not said anything I knew now, no great revelations. "At the hospital, after the accident... I... we could have saved both of you. But I told Alvin and your father that there was no chance with Angela." His eyes focused back on mine and I saw his pain, "I made the choice to bring you back alone Samantha..." looking down he said softly, "I thought we could be together like the old days once more. But I was wrong, please forgive me..."

I looked at Jimmy, the tears rolling down his cheeks and dripping off his chin like slow raindrops. He believed that he had killed Angela. But I knew better, I saw her die, there would have been no way he could have brought her back. I know he is a genius, but he is not god. Removing one of his hands from mine, I lifted his chin, "I forgive you James." I said softly.

He started to speak once more but stopped himself. When he stood, he looked down at me, "Will you talk to her?"

Closing my eyes, I nodded once as my fingers caressed daddy's pistol. Nothing anyone had said had changed my mind and I did not expect Angela to. I watched as she walked in her face masked and without any clothes on.

Flowing into a sitting position Angela removed the mask and looked at me a long while not speaking. Finally, when she did speak her words shook me to the core, "I forgive you." That was it, nothing more. She did not touch me, reach out, or move in any way.

I sat there dumfounded. What could I say? Thank you? Those words sounded so hollow and petty. "I love you." I said softly as my fingers reached out to her face.

Like a cat, she moved into my touch. She took my hand from her face and turned her head towards the others. "I speak for everyone here when I say," she turned her head back and locked eye contact with me, "We forgive you Samantha." I glanced beyond her and saw the others nodding in agreement for once not in time with each other. When I made eye contact with Angela once more she continued, "If you feel you need to be punished then allow us, those you hurt to pick the punishment."

My hand had moved back to pick up the pistol as she talked. I had my closure, the ones that could, forgave my sin. I could not forgive myself though. What do you do when you know in your heart that there is no forgiveness to be found big enough to fill the darkness? I nodded, "Yes I agree," I said without looking up from the pistol in my hand.

Angela took the pistol from my hand and said, "We have reached a verdict."

I looked up at her and then the others. Behind her, they were nodding. I don't know how but she had set this up I realized. "We, the ones you hurt, condom you to life." She paused and then added, "We condemn you to the knowledge of your deeds, and actions. We condemn you to be our fallen angel, and our mistress for the rest of your life." As if one person everyone in the room, James included, raised the masks to their faces and said, "You are my mistress, I am yours to care for and protect for life." Angela then said softly through the mask, "For better or worse, welcome home mistress, my love."

I looked at them and sighed. I could not forgive myself, but for now, I could not abandon those who needed me.