The Hiding Game Ch. 11

His voice was shaking by the time he spoke the last few words, and I could see a single tear run down his cheek. I stretched out my arms as much as I could, and he hugged me carefully, laying his head on my chest. I heard him sigh, and I raised one hand to stroke his hair.

"You know," he said, "I was scared as hell when I realized I cared about you."

I closed my eyes. "So that's why you ignored me?"

"Yeah. I just couldn't keep away, and I finally decided that you were worth taking that risk for."

"And the second time you gave me the cold shoulder?"

"My dad noticed I'd been acting differently. He asked me point blank if there was a girl. I was worried he'd poke around at school and figure out who it was. That's also the reason he was suddenly very interested in the girl I'd take to Homecoming." He lifted his head and looked into my eyes then.

"I wanted to take you so, so badly, Jenna," he told me. My vision blurred, but this time, it wasn't because of my head injury.

We lay there for a while, both crying silently. I was shocked about what he had told me, and my mind replayed the conversation we had had in the art room over and over again. I wished he had told me the truth. But at the same time, I understood why he had felt that he couldn't.

Finally, Seth held my hand again, squeezing it in comfort. I ran my thumb across the back of his hand and noticed a band-aid across his knuckles.

"What did you do?" I asked, hiccupping, and he raised his head.

"Punched him. I think I broke his nose." He touched his knuckles with his other hand and sighed. "I was half-crazy with fear when I noticed that you were gone... and that he was, too. When I found you... God, I was so mad. I wanted to kill him. I only stopped when I realized you needed me."

I managed a weak smile, which he returned just as half-heartedly. Our hands still gripped each other tightly, and I took a breath when I realized that there was one more question that I needed to ask.

"Are you... are you really on medication? Your dad said..."

Seth nodded. "Mild antidepressants, yeah. Why?"

I closed my eyes, hoping this wouldn't upset him. "Before he... well, he told me you were heavily medicated. I realize that was probably just part of the bullshit he was feeding me, but I thought..."

"It's fine," Seth interrupted, squeezing my hand. "I'm glad you asked, actually. No, I've never been heavily medicated. The medication doesn't affect me at all, for the most part, exscept that it helps me deal with things, and it makes me sick to my stomach sometimes. Barely anyone knows I take it, because it's really none of their business. But I can promise you that it's not what has been affecting my behavior."

"Good," I said, relieved.

He hugged me, very carefully, and then sighed again.

"I should probably leave. The nurse is going to get really mad if she notices how long I've been in here."

"Okay," I whispered. He carefully wiped the tears from my face, then gave me a sad smile.

"I hope you can forgive me, Jenna," he said, putting a finger over my mouth when I tried to answer. "Don't say anything right now, please. I'm just saying, that, one day, I hope you can forgive me. Not right now. It's all still much too raw right now."

He stood up and kissed my lips, smiling when I reached out for him once more.

"Go back to sleep," he told me, and I obediently closed my eyes.