All Comments on 'Dream Drive Ch. 06'

I love you

the feels.

*sob*

Charles is a demon! Jack, use your sweet game abilities to kick his ass! He can't use that metal leg on you any more! Nor guns. Health bar op.

This series is one of the best things I've read in a long time period not just on lit but anywhere keep up the good work I'm fully invested in your story

This legit is the best novel i have read in my life

keep it up, one fo the best stories on the site and a novel in its own right. right up there with path of the necromancer. but that was left barely started. so please keep writing

above the masses - thanks!

DM

man this gets better and better.

You're part of my daily routine; a check to see if you've finished the next chapter. I can't offer any advice; I wouldn't want to drag down the quality of writing. So just take whatever time you need to maintain your high standards, and we will look forward to it

I really like the development of the various characters, with each person having distinct ways of expressing themselves. Everyone's character is pretty unique with the exception of Jackson. He still seems very murky emotionally, so it is hard to evaluate him.

However I love the "game system" as a premise and love the integration into the world. But the fact that Jackson can now bring sci-fi technology into a fantasy world really bothers me. It seems like he is breaking the system you so carefully set up. Why level up strength, if you can bring a exoskeleton? So i hope this will not become too common...

oooooooooooo good

This is really the best story ive read in a long time and that includes bestsellers.

The Characters have personalities and proper motivation to do what they do, wich is rare in most books. The one point of the story i really wanna see resolved is with Rachel. After reading the Moment in Hales tent i cant stop thinking of how you go on with this Storyline but i sure as hell wish u make it a good ending for Rachel :D. I really dont want this to turn too dark.

Amazing... I really hope he calls him chuck when they have there confortation that wipe the smile off him for at least a second... Best story I've read on this website looking forward to the nxt ch thx

It has been a long, long time since I've read a story with a believable yet still interesting villain. You've managed to make THREE in just six chapters. Normally the best authors have to shroud their villain in mystery to keep them interesting, to keep the plot going and building hype.

Not you, you go right for their heart and split it wide open for the rest to see. Yet they still come off as evil. Just...realistically evil. I fucking love it.

I hope you have a DnD background otherwise this isn't going to make sense. I see Renfield as the first lawful evil character that I've ever believed in. He is so deliciously zealous in his belief of himself. Hule is neutral evil and Boonta is chaotic evil. The differences in how you wrote them are exceptional. I do hope you continue to have more time to write for us in between your hectic school schedule.

I know you've been hinting at it but you HAVE to have a Rachel/Charles/Jackson interaction. I simply must read a conversation between those three.

Not since GRR Martin have I craved a villain to suffer a comeuppance as I do your three villains. I will see them rot in bison dung!

Alright advice going forward:

- Introduce some kind of seen as good flirtation from one of the villagers towards Jackson. Have Chaki respond to a potential second wife early, maybe tease Jackson about it. Maybe even have Chaki's Mom flirt with him. Have Shaka say that it's perfectly acceptable. I think the blushing/embarrassment would be hilarious.

- The numbers you're concerned about using too much are great. They help remind us of the world as a video game merger. Your writing is very engrossing and realistic, the numbers make it your video game world. It also is a very convenient progression scale I can get behind. In manga's of similar genre it's always a mystery how much the characters have progressed, not so in your world. It's very much appreciated.

- When you introduce more human players with progression, have one of them absolutely refuse to do anything with essence but stat pump. If I were in that world I wouldn't waste a single point on special attacks but point out the weaknesses of that strategy/discuss with Jackson.

- Some native american tribes had a ritual where they would have their wives sleep with men seen as strong in order for the husband to absorb the strength through their wife. You might want to think about having some encounter towards this with Jackson/Chaki. Could be an interesting angle.

- Have the passive stats increase from his watching and understanding of spars/tournament. Watching a master move and fight can be more enlightening than practicing yourself sometimes.

- You didn't mention Jackson's artifact gained in this section of the story. Nothing bad, just don't forget it. I'm very curious about it.

- Have Jackson gain essence in the 'real' world when he inevitable blows up a police drone/robot.

- Never stop writing. You have a gift.

Thanks for this update! I can't wait for next month for the next one.

I had several attempts to get into this, but am throughly enjoying the flow of this. Jackson initial presented as a Thomas Covenant-like denialistic self defeating knob, only to set in a nihilistic future world of little hope, war and escapism. However, he has developed to be a richer and more complex complete real-human, who is more balanced than Covenant. However, the boredom of a night of insomnia had me reading through Chapters 1-6. Congratulations on drawing me in, am definitely hooked now, and will be waiting for forth coming issues.

Mal 5-star plus

You've done an excellent job adding substance to the plot by giving the readers detailed information about Jackson and Charles' past. Their character development is impeccable and Charles' evil disposition is so believable that it keeps readers interested in what he is planning. It's not just the plot and character development that are excellent either. I love how you presented the audience with multiple antagonists that the MC will have to deal with instead the typical fantasy setup with a vague mysterious villain that we don't meet until near the story's climax. Keep up the great work! Your story is incredible.

Another great chapter. I only wish that I had stumbled across this in a year or two so I could read it all in one sitting... although, the wait for each new chapter and the satisfaction of reading them when they do show up is just part of the adventure. Keep up the good work.

Best Story i ever read found on a website like this ... I need more and i need it fast ! (That novel is so bought even if the protagonist of contractor sounds like a huge dick if the antagonists are as good as here it is worth it)

Dream Drive is my favourite story on this site, and one I'm hopeful will see a conclusion!

On another note, downloaded kindle, registered with Amazon, and purchased Contractor. Couldn't put it down, it's one hell of a read. Definitely recommend anyone to buy it - and its not expensive. Do it!

Just damn, dude, you've done it again.

I still hate Charles guts, but now I also know WHY he seems so delusional to us -- zealot is absolutely the best description for him.

A great comparison is Shyamalan's 'Unbreakable' villain. (Hey, Shyamalan's first two films were actually good. Not so much afterward.)

And for those on the fence about getting Contractor -- the protagonist is like a combination of Jackson and Ian (from Path of the Necromancer), with some extra Deadpan Snarker thrown in.

In short:

READ. IT.

I've seen this voiced multiple times here, but you really have done an awesome job fleshing out your characters. I agree with some of the people here that these last two chapters have been too slow paced, but I completely understand the need for a couple chapters to lead up into the cool stuff that I see coming up within the next chapter or two. So overall, the characters have been excellent, pace has been a very slow burn but still good, and dialogue has been remarkable realistic for a story containing erotica. Because that's what this really is, a novel that has a little bit of steam coming out of it's ears rather than a pornfest with a smidgeon of story. I usually stay away from stories on erotica websites that actively say they're non-erotic, which seems utterly pointless to me for being on that type of website, so this is the perfect mix between. It definitely helps that this is a direct spin off from Log Horizon, a favorite anime of mine. This and Cultural Exchange by Tenou are the two stories I'm truly looking forward to continuing to read.

Good job Red, thats an amazing chapter. You outdid yourself this time. I can see that you wanted to put at least one sex scene in the story, and I would have liked it being with Chaka and Jackson, but its alright. People who read ch 6 are already hooked on the story, not on the sex ;)

Anyways, I like the retrospection. It spices up things. Leaves you hanging and wondering untill the middle, when you understand whats going on.

Now I realised who do you remind me of as a writer. Shakespeare. You would hook people and drag them on an amazing journey. Just like William.

Amazing. Keep on writing. I'm expecting you to update your profile in a week or so to let everyone know when is Ch. 7. going to come out. I'll assume a month.

Also, this is good chapter length. Between 10 and 15 pages is my subjective oppinion of a good Literotica chapter. It took me 2 and a half hours to read it which I will never regret, because they arent wasted. :) They are the precious time where I'm in Jacksons world which is definitely spectacular.

Anyways, look at me, my "short" commentary is a Bible. :P Anyways, truly awesome. Keep up the good work.

P.S. I expect Rachel to get it on with Jackson by Christmas. :)

The interplay of Charles with Mivra was not only good, it was the single greatest A.I. intercourse I have yet read on this site. Sure it was supposed to be a human-like computer but this beautifully captures the edges of the artifice and the precipice of humanity upon it. Charles is as cold as she is. They're perfect for each other, and Charles a driving force. I imagine you plan for him to play a bigger role from now on, but It felt... Put on? almost as though you created Charles as a point villain and then blew him up to be a pseudo big bad, or in this case more an antihero. I've a preference for one over the other obviously and I feel the complexity that his character offers cannot be ignored. Charles is as much a part of this story as Jackson or Rachel. What inspired you to write Mivra the way you did? That question will haunt me. Lastly, although the Westley narrative was poignant, integral and otherwise great story telling, Jackson's drama with destroying his data by fire was unecessary. A simple microwave would have done. I understand his emotional state at that point, but to undercut it to what felt like a revenge montage was disquieting. Westley deserved more than a montage. I am significantly impressed by the quality of material increase as well as your taking into account the necessity of erotic interaction in an erotic writing. On your last story, I commented that you needed to step it up, or your ratings would go down. You have exceeded that bar. This is an excellent story. I can only ask that you continue to improve. Perhaps Rachel and Hale's interaction could feature as an s an m thing more than a total non-consent? Her attraction to Jackson is obviously important to the narrative of the story, but that doesn't mean the character is sexually static. Girls like masturbate and stuff too you know right? Like maybe if you wrote some solo stuff some guys would want to read more and stuff and it wouldn't effect character interplay in the plot and stuff. Charles on Mivra is also a possible outlet for included sex scenes, optimistically saying 3 in the next chapter is very within your reach. If you haven't read "The Preacher Man" I'd recommend his style of routine sex.

I now have 2 authors I would personally be overjoyed, love and be honored, to meet in person/ find some way to collaborate with/ plot against the world with. You, and Final Stand. I see a reflection of my own mindset in the both of you, similar desires and the like. I am surprised to find that in Contractor you made Rothschild out to be almost the bad, good guy. Anyhow the two of you have brought me to the conclusion that I should attempt to write as well, I think my first will be an indi book like contractor. Then I decided that the 2nd story will be an all Lit story, and have even decided which story of the 12 floating in my head it will be. One about after the heat death of the universe that you seem to also show interest in. Anyhow enough about my egotistical ass great stuff anyone reading this should buy ANY AND ALL BOOKS that this man attempts to sell you now and in the future. If he tries to sell you his high school thesis to you for 5 bucks BUY IT! FOR GODS SAKE BUY IT MAN! I doubt you'll regret it unless of coarse your one of those people that find intelligent and insightful writings to be obnoxious in the same way that some people prefer women ditsy women with bigger breasts and asses than IQ's and hearts. Short of that a 5 dollar thesis from this man would be be well worth it just from the thoughts and ideas it would make you ponder alone.

Awesome story absolutely loving it! =D

Another stellar chapter.

Absolutely love the story! I've read all six chapters over the last two days and when trying to juggle college classes that is saying something! The plot is great and the characters are awesome, really appreciate the fact that this is a plot driven story instead of all sex with a little plot. Just one major request though, don't let this story die. It is far too good for that and I can't wait to read more! 5.0 rating for sure!

quality writing, keep it up!

Usually, I arc an eyebrow or three when I see people comment "I wish I could write like you." Alright, here I go: I wish I could write like you.

Charles. Is. Phenomenal. I was intrigued by him when he was the ice-cold ever-smiler for his sister's sake. This chapter, you built him up to one of the best antagonists I've ever seen. The zeal, the pain, the humanity... the possibilities are endless. Usually, I can roughly plot how the rest of a story will go. Here? No idea. And I'm dying to find out.

I didn't like Chaki as much this chapter. Her back and forth with Jack, where she pushes for more and he gives in after a while to dump his past lacks freshness now, especially since there seems to be not much progress otherwise. As I write this, it feels like the only events between Jack refusing to tell her and giving in was the part from Charles's point of view... I would've loved to read about Meet and the games, but as I read the Charles part, I understood why you had to put that first. It was worth it, to say the least.

This is a great concept and story line please continue looking forward to the next installment.

This is just incredible. I have read all of this story over the past few days and I'm hooked, completely. Your characters are deep and your story is original and interesting. Can't wait to see where it goes from here.

This story is so terrific that I've been pacing myself reading it because I didn't want to finish all that was currently available too quickly and be left waiting. About halfway through I decided that when I got to the end of the most recent chapter I would leave a comment saying that this is one of the best stories I've read on this site. After reading this chapter, though, I think I can safely say that this is THE best story I have read here. Seeing the Charles character get more fleshed out and hearing Jackson's story about him and Westley really pushed this story over the edge for me. I don't really have anything in the way of constructive feedback, I just wanted to add one more voice to the chorus of praise and say that your efforts truly are appreciated.

I don't understand how a story filled with people I'd cheerfully gut with a dull knife keeps drawing me back. As maddening as it is to read about vile people doing reprehensible things, I guess I haven't lost hope in seeing justice done by the end.

I feel I need to comment after reading this series. When I read literature online my expectations are quite a bit lower than those I hold actual books to. This surpasses many published books I have read both in writing quality and story/character quality. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading the next installment.

I would just like to say that this is just as good as any professionally published book that i have ever read. Well done and i cant wait until the next chapter comes out. This is now one of my favorite stories on this site, if not the favorite.

I'm actively checking the Scifi/Fantasy category at least a couple times a day waiting for the next chapter for this story, it's that good! I know that these things take time to write, especially around the holiday season, just wanted to let you know how excited I am to continue reading your story. Here's hopin' for a new chapter soon!

this is really, really good, plz update in the future

I check daily. Haha

I keep checking back.... Waiting for more :)

Been checking daily and have been doing it several times a day since the update on the 25th. Happy New Years and please let ch. 7 come soon.

I'm literally checking around 3 times a day in hopes that ch. 7 is uploaded. The hype is strong.

...I have found story, no, a literary masterpiece worth reading and re-reading over and over again. The characters are perfect because they are flawed, because they are human. You give each and every single one of them a life all their own, and whats more, you truly take the time to create an actual person. Vendault is consumed by self-loathing, fear, and hatred, a conflict of self-interest if i've ever seen one. those three combined ultimately create a ticking time bomb leading to his death, and what did you do? You let it exist, you made him flawed.

And for that reason, he is perfect. He is human.

But that is just the characters, this story, this work of art, this creation of Da Vinci, Michealangelo, Mozart, Beethoven, given literary form, is so much more than that. Its attention to detail, to every sordid or miniscule, or even the most meager of nuances is given life and light in a world living in a dark vacuum of story driven artwork. For this story is, in fact, Art. You paid attention to the clothes they wore, the condition of those clothes, the age of those clothes, even the texture of them. Who goes to such great lengths anymore? Not many, sadly enough.

When it is time for action, for more than mere exposition or, dare i say, exhaustive, dialogue, you didnt slack. you took every single detail in the environment and put it to use. The bones in the Rattok dungeon piercing his sides as he fell, the glow of essence being used, the scum of fetid and semi-solidified water beneath the bare feet of a man thrust into an unforgiving and brand new world, all of it was brought into reality.

Maybe, just maybe, you have stumbled across some actual magic in this tale of intrigue, of suspense, or fear and courage, of fate and mystery... of life, and of death.

For the dream drive exists not only in your writing, but in the minds of those who experience this tale. everything you have written thus far is easily, and perfectly imagined in my mind as it happens, not after i think of it. Vibrant color, sights and sounds, even the smells are experienced (sometimes unfortunately : / ) in vivid detail. This is, as i have so redundantly said, a work of Art. Please, share with us your vision, your story, your tale. We could be blessed with no greater thing from you.

Why do I like Charles's so much?

I normally hate flashbacks in stories. I expected I would feel the same when it started in this chapter.

Somehow, you made it work. I really liked it. It wasn't....it didn't feel gratuitous. It was directly part of the story, seeming both totally congruent with all you had previously written and also bringing in aspects that further the story.

It feels seamless to me. Thank you for showing me what a flashback is supposed to be.

Hare Krishna

I can't help but like the character of Charles more than Jackson. It's not because his likable. He's a complete sociopath. But it's because Jackson is such a negative person.

I want to like him, I really do, but Chapter 5 just made me disappointed with him. He was so overwhelmingly defeatist about everything. This chapter has done a good job at justifying his attitude, but Charles has been justified as well. I don't know which character that I feel more sorry for.

So, in a nutshell, great job at humanizing your villain. Now your protagonist needs to start manning up, like he manned up in chapter 2. I want to see that Jackson again. Hopefully, this cry will get it all out. Great story, man. I am completely enthralled.

I am very impressed. This should be a book. I've only said this twice ever, and the first became an e-book.

You're a very talented writer. Thank you for taking the time to share with us your story.

This story has been amazing. Very imaginative. Compelling plot. Interesting people. But I regretted seeing the changes introduced in this chapter. The story had been tightly focused, well paced, and fascinating. But now, it has been dissipated due to the addition of the earth-based story line. I also find the many changes of POV jarring. I also think that the 18 year-old student in charge of a major corporation is just too much. The adversary has too much talent, too many resources, too much motivation. Dream Drive has jumped the shark. Some times less is more.

It is the only thing that can be said. its horrible disgusting incredible creative and marks where the story moves away from what i really want to read im affraid.

after here the story talks more on charles and almost tries to give reasosn to why he is who he is, the perfect bad guy is turned into a main charater that you can almost sorta root for. i dont want stereotypical but the story is about ackson not charles thats my issue i suppose. having a side bar with other people in it is fine and incremental to your story, but its meant ot be a side bar not become half the story

JC

I've been reading your work for the past few days, and I can say I'm impressed. This story reads much better than most books I've read throughout my life, and that's saying something. Most other stories on this site go from two people taking a hike in one scene to wildly fucking a grizzly bear in the next. Next to no context and no rational story. All of the romance and relationships in this story make the sex so much more meaningful, and the sex even helps drive the story and defines the relationships between characters that much more. Honestly, this could easily be published and make quite a bit of money, the next Fifty Shades per se. I've gotten so much more involved and engulfed into this story than almost anything else I've read, online or in a book. You, my friend, are incredibly talented.

There is only one way to describe my appetite for the following chapters: *heavy breathing*. These characters feel disturbingly human.

I hope whatever "assist" she provided after Charles became unhappy with her was far from pleasant...

I've been enjoying these stories... Hope they keep going in the same quality...

Your story is really great but how you depict Charles seems wrong to me.

At first you make him a perfect asshole who want to steal and fuck/rape Chaki, and in the same time he want Jackson to be caught so he can use him. At this point, him wanting Jackson to work for him and him fucking Chaki seems like a huge mistake, someone won't work for you even if that means death if you rape his girlfriend.

And in this chapter you present Charles like smart, cunning and someone who is not afraid of doing whatever necessary to reach is goal but not someone utterly evil when previously he want to rape someone and even used one of his trusted staff as a sample for experiments. There are other way to punish someone and in the same time using their capabilities to the utmost and the rape thing don't cope with his goals so just sending the cops to arrest Jackson and even using his girlfriend as leverage on him seems a better options to have Jackson working for him.

For me, what you wrote in the previous chapter makes Charles a finite asshole and I truly hope he won't survive at the end of the story even if you tried to make him look somewhat human in this chapter.

But it's a truly great story, I hope to finish reading it soon to see how you choose to make it end.

It's so sad I want to bury myself in a hole and cry for the rest of my life it was so sad. WESTLEYYYYYYYYY!!! ;-;

Charles in charge, butt his girl friend is a robotic clone of himself. I wonder if Rachel has a kill switch in her some how, I don't mean shut down, I mean kill him.

I do not care about any of the characters so far except Chaki and Jack. I've just skipped over the rest because they've bored me. I get you're adding dimensions to the story, but I just can't bring myself to care about the rest at all. Quite frankly they're just outright boring.

And since you put too much time to the others, the story has slowed down to a snail's pace. I'm this far in, pages after pages of story and they still haven't even started the bloody games. Boon made the deal ages ago. That should not take so long to explode. We're no closer to understanding the "game" or having a clear path for the story and all I've gotten are, not only pages after pages of boring characters, but there's no foreshadowing. There's nothing to keep me going. There was at the start. I was expecting more action for one. Maybe that'll come in the future when Jack fixes his emotional problems? I was also expecting more details into trying to understand how far they can go with abilities. I was excited to learn more about all the mysteries being presented too. But instead of building on those already given mysteries, you've brought in more and more characters and talked too much about them while leaving everything else aside. And I was expecting all the emotional problems, but the way you've tackled it has not been fun or interesting at all. Maybe it's the way it has been a constant downer with Jack. Which I get, but it doesn't make anything better. I seriously hope you're just doing a unholy amount of build up for when you decide to get things started. I almost fainted just from reading the uncomfortable amount of info dump just in the whole trip to Jacks world. And I wouldn't mind this so much, if each chapter didn't take so bloody long to come out, but this story has taken 2 years just to walk 10 feet. Imagine if I had to wait months, YEARS just to get an essay on how Chaki felt in Jacks world? And to my....disappointment? It's actually a good story with great potential.

You have clearly have not read an actual book. There are many character a that have small and larger roles. Clearly the author is making this book into muc more than a typical literotica story. You should be happy you stumbled upon an author that knows what he is doing.

You had a nice pace going at the start of this story. Well written, and fairly intriguing. Then it came to Jackson bringing Chaki to the real world, and almost the entirety of that can easily be skipped. 99% of it was Jack explaining the real world to Chaki. "That's a car", "That's a subway train", "That's a road", *yawn*. Then came all the Real World stuff with Charles... while this is well written, it felt to me that this was all a departure from what the beginning of the story promised. That is, a virtual reality game where they player has to fight his way up the tower of Babel. I was really looking forward to all the different monsters, demons, and creatures that Jackson would have to face and defeat, as well as him learning new spells and skills, and gaining new weapons and armor. It seems to me at this point in the story that the story is moving so slowly that it will be impossible for there to be a progression up the tower.

If this story is going the way it appears to be going, rather than what my expectations were at the start, it would have been better (in my opinion) to have more Real World/Charles stuff toward the start of the story, so readers wouldn't have the expectation of it being a book mostly about a VR-MMORPG.

I agree with some of the other comments on this chapter that the story is moving along at a snails pace at this point, with very little to no action. It very much reminds me of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series where readers were complaining about a number of his books where he seemed to lose focus and go off on tangents. Where you could read an entire book and the story would barely move forward.

I second the anonymous comment below or above , I dont know.

I read this story so often, and each time this chapter is always the hardest to read.

Its so emotive, so powerful. And Charles is the most complicated character in the book.

I love him, hate him, sympathise with him and with to destroy him. you read the story and you get the evil villain, then you read on and see the young man who was pushed so hard by his father, to the point that desperation to succeed due to the PTSD he was suffereing from caused him to listen to an outlet. He listened to Chi, who said to kill westly. It's so ahrd to read.

JC

I so want to see this in animation. I'm really conflicted if I want to see it in movie form, a series, or a movie then spin-off into a series.

Sorry for typos, Swype is still finicky.

It's weird that everyone seems to put so much blame at Chi's feet. Remember that Charles is a ruthless blackmailer who burned a guy's face off for not smiling. It's been implied that he threatens employees' families with injury or death if they don't stay in line. They are conditioned to perform at top performance.

Plus any scientist worth her salt lists - even if they don't consider seriously - ALL options. It's the only way that you may reach an optimal but previously overlooked option. It could be argued that Chi didn't have to mention the possibility of a full biopsy even if she had thought of it. A: see paragraph above. B: She mentions a partial biopsy (which isn't Westley specific if I remember correctly) first, which seems like under the circumstances even Charles would have worked out eventually. It's a quick jump to a full biopsy, again a leap quickly reached once considering the former option. To be honest, I think mostly she was thinking aloud, considering all possibilities in a detached manner which, frankly, you kind of have to do to work as a doctor. You wanna see detachment? Talk to an EMT or ER doctor, you'll find some of their patterns of thought outright disturbing. Triage is effing real in healthcare and while Charles is a philosophical slippery slope nightmare come to life, ain't no surprise to me that this is his industry.

on the last, 13th page,

"WESTLY WAS NOT A FUCKING SAMPLE" I believe his name is 'Westley' with an 'E'.

Also while I throughly enjoy reading all of this, I really had to stop myself from physically reeling back when Jackson said: "Logic is inhuman by its very nature".

Logic is a field of philosophy. Logic is a distinguishing factor for humanity. Logic is something that has been many things in the past, but always human and only ever human. I guess you were talking about classical android-level logic, which can be described as the application of said logic. 'computer logic' however is also very human, although perhaps somewhat transhumanistic in a philosophical sense... I mean consider this HTML bit (I love this thing):

[body]

< . > [soul]

< .> [/soul]

[/body]

(angle brackets don't seem to work here...)

Thickening plot, but somewhat deviating from the important, mystical happenings of Isis, Shakhan and Evil Emil Mohammed; I look forward to reading more!

Charles is scum, I really don't enjoy reading his POV, I ended up skimming it in this chapter, it would be better if he had a smaller role, or none at all in my opinion.

Only thing that would make it worth it would be if he got killed off so Rachel could take control instead

I feel like the pacing is glacially slow.

The author spends too much time on the sci fi world instead of focusing on the fantasy one. It's honestly making me lose interest in the story.

As if some kind of implicit promise as to what this story would be about is being broken.

"I was impulsive," Charles said. "When I was younger, I took what I wanted with less thought to the consequences."

Funny, I thought that was exactly what he was trying to do with Chaki, and when that didn't work, he threw a hissy fit and threw mud at Jackson.

Charles is the most unlikeable character I've read about in a long time, I don't know if giving him too much limelight is the author's attempt to humanise him, and make him seem more sympathetic.

If yes, it's a failure. Please have him die, reading about him having so much power compared to Jackson and being such a condescending asshole just ruins whatever escapism this story might have offered.

I definitely don't want to see him in a happily ever after with the Android. Maybe she realizes he's evil and evil has too die? With appropriate last minute save of Jackson.

Great story...

Keep it up man.

So slow and boring. Couldnt finish it

I have read this twice before years ago. I love it and how you are growing your characters. I wish you would come back to this series.

This is a stunning story in its depth complexity and power. This would make a great Netflix series. Well done Matt

The sex scene between the monster and the robot was revolting. Or maybe I should say it was between two robots.

So many thousands of words written from the robot/monster's perspective...unpleasant reading.

There are always men who believe, foundationally, that man may only move forward if he is willing to make sacrifices. These men are rarely the ones doing the actual sacrificing.