by Gordon17
Sorry , the English was so bad it made it too difficult to read and take seriously. Get an Editor please.
... I wondered "what the hell is the native language of this writer?".
Then I looked at your list of stories.
Sorry - either get someone who speaks English to translate. or don't bother.
There is a saying in English - "It got lost in the translation".
This is/was the perfect example of that saying!!
I would not be able to write so well in German however your sentence structure needs work. also grammar ...parts of speech such as adverbs and adjectives are used incorrectly. my sentences aren't so great right heRe because iPad isn't as intuitive as it should be.
I liked the premise of the story. Even liked the ending. I'd suggest keep writing, and work on that translation/editting. :)