by perihelion
I really really love this. It was very well written and the sex scenes are so hot. I can't wait to hear more about Jeremy and Rick!!!!!
This was extremely well done. Not just a sex tale (no pun intended) but a story of a man coming to terms with a new side to himself. Jeremy's internal dialogue was so well done. It rang true and I'm sure alot more people have these thoughts. Some bury it and wouldn't admit it under any amount of torture. Some accept it and go on, whether they ever act on it or not.
With the added intrigue of the investigation, this felt more like a window into a mans life. So well done.
I would love to see the hot teachers from "Hot Buffalo Conference" make an appearance in a story with these gentleman. With that said.....I hope there are more chapters to this story. Well written and very erotic.
If it takes 6 months to write the next part, take it. Don't rush, this was fantastic and deserves the same amount of care and attention for the finish. It was well written, had a great story, heat and heart! Thank you for sharing it with us.
Very well writing & nicely put together. Nice character development. Very sexy! I was just a touch bored during the explanation of the cheating scandal but other than that it was thoroughly enjoyable. Looking forward to more chapters!!
I'm a sucker for a romance with slow seduction where you know the outcome, you just want to savor the hero overcoming the various obstacles. When some of the obstacles are from everyday life, not just sex, and you have a detailed, accurate description of ordinary people going about work and home life (and sex, too, why not), the enjoyment is enhanced. Also, your style is excellent, simple, direct, and correct. I only spotted one typo (Chandler for Chancellor) and one solecism: the use of the word "masseuse" for a male. A masseuse is invariably a woman. A man who does massage is a masseur. Both words have a sexual connotation hated by people who provide therapeutic massages; they feel it to be insulting and degrading. They want to be known as "massage therapists," and I feel that we need to use this term exclusively as a sign of respect for their professionalism. Let's reserve masseur and masseuse for sex workers, male and female respectively. (The therapist I go to gets elevated blood pressure for a week whenever she is described as a masseuse or asked whether she provides "happy endings.")
I love all of your stories, but this one is especially good. I particularly like how you manage to capture the thoughts and emotions of your first-person narrators. Please write more!
Well this was like a slow burn! So much depth! So much emotion! I was intertwined into this storey as if I was a character with something to lose! What's next?! I'm dying here.
Perihelion, is this story's Coach Patrick Baker related to RED's Coach Scott Baker? I mean, Rick's 42 and Scott's 31. I thought Sporting Chance may be Red's sequel and Rick had mentioned the conference that might as well be Red, but then they have different names...
Oh well, I hope they're the same ^_^
I can't believe this isn't finished .... !!!! OMG how long till we have the conclusion ?? Please don't leave us hanging for too long !! This is really one of your best stories - Your characters have bite, they always do, it's one of the reasons I absolutely love your work; the plot is totally exciting, and the sexual tension between Jeremy and Rick nearly drove me up the wall. You also gave us great detail: I had no idea being a teacher involved so much work; all that bureaucracy, the forms and memos and everything else Jeremy had to deal with as a coach and teacher, not to mention the politics, the cynicism, the envy and the jealousy. It was wonderful how you described it to us - sooo good !! But please don't leave us without closure for too long.
Nine wonderful pages and Jeremy finally admitting he's hot for Rick leaved me with my tongue hanging out. You're that good. Thanx so much for this wonderful work and don't ever stop. :]
I love Rick's tender loving and I love Jeremy's hairy body. Hope that includes some delicious chest hair!
I really love a well written story. But it feels like this one is not finished. That is in no way a criticism, just an urgent push for the author to write a chapter two.
Great background, engaging characters and lots of sexual tension. I'll be looking for more.
This is one of the most beautiful and romantic stories I have read here. I loved how much "story" was written before any actual sex happened. Kind of like how some people actually fall in love first, then make love. Emotional leading the sexual involvement.
Could you drop us a line and let us know your plans for this story. It is excellent and deserves to be finished. Love you work!
That was a long story.just knowing that they were going to fuck and suck each other.I could of sucked 4. Guys off by the time I got done reading this.
which was the best part. Frankly I skimmed over the irrelevant parts and just read the sexual part.
Great story. Well structured. And as I think it should be slow and steady to the love and sex.
Loved the story, would like to know what happened to them... You really have an excellent writing style. Love all your stories
That I hope will continue someday so we can find out whether or not Jeremy and Rick have a happily ever after + results of the test cheating! Absolutely love their relationship from how they were sort of enemies to building a friendship to being new lovers. Jeremy's reaction to trying something new with Rick was authentic as was Rick being hurt to Jeremy not automatically feeling the same way until the very end when Rick leaves their honeymoon to take care of things at his own home.
I loved the story,loved the build up and the realistic pacing.Very good job. I'd like to see more about them. It'd be great if you could do that😃
A gentleman doesn't call a woman a bitch, no matter how unpleasant she is. Be aware, when writing, that if your character calls women bitches, your character looks like an inadequate, misogynistic arsehole with an inferiority complex.
When I started reading this story I had no idea I was going to stay all night doing so. Wow indeed!
Great writing, good build up. And I am still hungry for more. I love the fact Jeremy took his life in charge and didn't just be an extension of his father, the general. Don't get me wrong, I have no beef with being a career military. I have great respect and appreciation for all of them and law enforcement people. They put themselves so selfishly for us, especially that now gays can openly serve, gratitude.
But I always find it disturbing for anyone to unwillingly follow in our elders footsteps. It's your life, it should be lived according to your own will. No one else dream should become your reality. It's not being selfish and ingrate. Once life should not be an investment. Parenting job is not to perpetuate, but to prepare you being an independent person living your own experiences hopefully with great success, and of course not forgotten about where and who made it possible. Your happiness in life depends on that pure and simple.
I deplore Rick's attitude towards Randy. That's internalized homophobia. You should have called it out, and have Jeremy address it later with Rick. Not doing so, makes it appear like you condone such discriminatory behaviour, witch I'm sure you don't.
Please get back to work and delight us with the rest of their life story. Thanks
God bless
there are women that are bitches and when i woman gets a baby they turn into looney fucking nut jobs who will fuck every ones life up cos most woman are fucked in the head, woman are good for two things repopulating the gay scene and washing up . fucking great read
I like this story but it's somehow not completed for me. It seems to me that their relationship is not going far considering the situation described in the plot. I couldn't feel their true connection and commitment toward each other. And one thing I don't really like was you keep mentioning about WOMEN he used to have sex with which really turned the truck away from me.
I absolutely love you as an author. I did enjoy this story but honestly felt it was too long. I feel like the relationship between Jeremy and Rick was actually the sub plot. There was way too much talk about the school.
I just feel this should have centred around the main characters more and there should really have been a good ending for them, this really feels like it needs another chapter or two to tie things up.
I absolutely loved the story till the end. It's feels unfinished to me. I wish you would have included Jermey telling Rick his feelings or a more sold ending between them. In my mind they work things out and end up together, but I do wish there was more. I love your writing and have enjoyed your stories immensely.
A great read... I want to know more about the relationships developing explicit and implied in this story.
Could Jeremy's children somehow extend the plot into new and exciting chapters... how would the town become solidly behind these teachers and partners... Great beginnings... more chapters please.
This was a great story. What I enjoyed most was the development of the relationship between Rick and Jeremy. You created two believable characters rather than an excuse for a description of erotic sex. And this I think is preferable to many other writers.
And I think comments that it is too long are misplaced. A good story takes as long as it takes to tell and too many authors seem to shorten the narrative to concentrate on the sex. Please don’t go down that route.
It would be nice to see further developments in the relationship between the two but equally to see how the school copes with the investigation and how it comes through it.
Thanks for posting
Great story! I loved the build up of their relationship as friends and then lovers! Very sexy and hot too! Thank you!
I wish you'd come back. I don't know if there are similar writer yet, but I really like the build-up and sexual tension in all your stories.
You're a great writer my dude!
I definetly need more of these two and I think we all do. Great storytelling, only the ending seems a bit abrubt.
Ridiculously well written - the plot points weaving in and out while bringing these two together was nothing short of magic. There was so much depth and it felt like we were just about to really feel that at the end here. Brilliant work. I do so hope these two will eventually receive a next chapter in their lives, but I’m also thankful for the sexy, heartfelt work that you’ve shared.
I loved this love story well written and so much like a real beginning of a relationship especially the first time someone discovered gay sex. This pleasure is unbelievable and better than with a woman. Hearing I can not believe it could be so good.
....l-o-n-g. and waaay too t-a-l-k-y. Readers wanting the story to continue may be driven to say so because although the text went on and on, it did not lead to a conclusion. A good writer would have cut the extraneous stuff (the author saying, "Look at Me!") and presented a full story for readers to absorb and comment on. Instead, readers have been deliberately set up to ooh and coo for more.
That. Was. Wonderful! Love your style...beautiful writing...full of feeling. Totally enjoyed what you shared...thank you!!! ❤
Great story with genuine characters that were well developed and added to the plot. I thought this was very real. Being from a small southern town and gay, their fears and concerns are legit. Glad they found each other. Thanks for the writing, Will read more of your work.
Holy shit that was the best thing I’ve read on here. They are so adorable! Hope there’s a follow up story!
Although the story is long, I really enjoyed tge detail. Thanks for writing this exciting and interesting story.
Too much text irrelevant to an erotic story; no one wants to hear about some wanky military bro and his douchey dad.. Not hot
Loved this. Read it a few times now. Still my favourite story. Hope there is a sequel
Thanks for this wonderful love story. Excellent writing. I wish there is a part 2. I've just discovered you and will continue checking out your stories.
The worst thing about this story is the sequel that was obviously intended never got posted. I want to see how they try to keep their relationship a secret and how they get found out (because clearly they do), I want to see Jeremy come to terms with himself and tell Rick he loves him, I want to know what happens with the investigation. I love this story but being left hanging just kills me!