All Comments on 'A Pervert's Punishment'

I would love a second chapter which the volleyball team get him.

Many wrong words and errors. Just a couple examples - "full proof" for "fool proof" and "torment seized" rather than "torment ceased". This really needs editing. How it has received a 4+ score at the time I read this is beyond me.

But thanks for submitting and sharing the story.

I like the story for what there is of it yet: a shy, yet curious teen boy reluctantly gets pushed into checking out a secret way to the girls locker-room. Gets trapped and caught.

OK, this could be good!

So when they find him, he's not trying to peek at them, he's cowering in fear and hiding.

So naturally, without asking who he is or what he's doing there, he's labeled a Pervert like any self-respecting misandrist would.

And of course finding him trapped in their shower clearly means he should be raped multiple times, abused physically and mentally, and falsely imprisoned.

There was a good scoop of sarcasm, but the reasoning is accurate because you did not provide any or hardly any context to the characters, their thoughts, or motivations.

So instead of reading it as erotic it reads more as hatred towards the boy.

Don't let my criticism discourage you, but consider it. I hope you continue writing and hope to see a prequel to this story explaining the characters in it and some history... and of course a sequel or many to find out what happens to Zack. Perhaps he will find that his crush takes a liking to him, only realizing that after slapping him around for a bit of course ;)

I loved this story I really hope that you are considering to write a sequel. thanks.

Great story need that sequel

Oh how much I wish that was me in that situation.

Some of the girls come back and either snap rubber bands on Zack's cock and balls and his nipples several times during the night; or, they come back with a couple of shock wands and shock various body parts. Zack does not get much sleep as the girls make his night hell. The next morning the Volleyball team comes in and sees him on the floor. Lacy loves what she sees and begins the torment. THere are several things that the girls do to a blindfolded Zack: nipple clamps, shock sticks, writing on his body, bondage positions, penis sounders, maybe a lotion with sand in it that they use to hand stimulate his cock, etc. When the girls finally leave him his cock is in a cage (with shock capability), a butt plug, his ball sac, nipples, and nose is pierced with rings. Oh, he has a collar too that has GPS and shock ability. They untie him and leave a note that he has to come back next week to get them off (or not). During the week he is examined almost daily by one or more of the girls. Zack finally is so broken at the end of the week the girls decide to remove all of the jewelry and leave him alone. Lacy finds out what they did and feels bad after Zack lets her know he had a crush on her. She may, or may not, try to make up for his torment. Some creative license is needed by the author but loved the creative imagination in the story so far.

Dislike the story absolutely. Not a bit of eroticism, a lot of hatred and brutal violence. Most of the boys and significant part of the girls are curious of how does the opposite sex look like naked. All of them are perverts, aren't they? Of course, getting into girls' lockers is sort of wrongdoing, but is it worth that cruel punishment as described? They could call officials to issue a legal punishment or make him undress in front of everybody (possibly adding some spanking as a bonus) instead of official way, but what they did is definitely a serious crime. Suppose a girl both shy and virgin gets into boys' lockers by accident or out of curiosity, gets caught by a mob of guys who don't let her a word, strip her naked, rape her all possible ways and torture her ruthlessly, nearly bringing her to death. Is that right way? Don't you think they would be sentenced to lengthy terms of imprisonment? The story seems just the same, with the swap of sexes. All of them should be sentenced to jail, even those who didn't take part in the "punishment", for not preventing it. As it was stated in the earlier comment, the story started quite promising, until the hero is caught, but later it becomes way disappointing. And the most disappointing thing is the author seems to approve all the nasty and cruel things the "girls" are doing to the protagonist

I was shocked by the level of hatred. It would have been simpler to just kill him.