by DG Hear
A DG Hear story is like an old, overstuffed leather chair, comfortable and predictable. His stories are kind of formulaic, but they're always well-written, with a minimum of typos and other editing errors, and they feature main characters that are exceedingly likable. This one is no exception.
Read your story.
It's simple really. You deliver quality every time!
Thanks!
Alan
As someone already mentioned, you write and share "quality" stories. I enjoy a good romantic tale where the characters are well defined and they are real. Thank you again for this submission
Ed
I made sure my daughter's dates knew that what my daughter said didn't matter. I didn't care if she begged him for it; he was dead meat if he touched her inappropriately. Even though she was on the same page as me on this subject; knowing that I was willing to go to prison to protect her chastity made it much easier for her to stick to her guns and remain a virgin until her wedding day. She said I was right; it was a lot easier to know she was in love without sex confusing the issue; also, the players wouldn't go near her, leaving the guys that actually liked her for herself in her dating pool.
...and your mother-in-law is still 'Mrs. Davis'? Great story, thanks for sharing it.
DGH stories make a person smile. If you read one and aren't smiling by the end, you are comatose. Well done once again! Five stars aren't enough.
It's really wonderful finding a nice story such as this one. Such good stories are as rare as finding a diamond in the rough. Keep your stories coming. 5 stars.
Nice story well told. Just a couple of things; Why did Kayla's parents leave her unsupervised with her date on Prom night? Surely they must have suspected what would happen. Secondly, Rob already had condoms, he knew what to expect.
... but it was all tell, not show. With this being a contest entry, I'm sorry I couldn't give more that's 3 stars.
Thanks for the entry!
VisualPerv
could be better.
DG I'll be as honest as I can here. and these are my opinions. As far as your writing goes, it's top notch. Your narrative is very good, dialog is not bad at all. Story concept was...well not original, but a high school sweetheart romantic story does really happen...so certainly a plausible story idea. But...
Critique: I feel like I've just eaten a huge bowl of vanilla ice cream. Vanilla is a great flavor. Simple, wonderfully sweet, delicious but by the bottom of the huge bowl you began to get a bit tired of vanilla. This story had that feel, it was the same flavor through out. I was waiting for a "something" that never happened, never appeared.
One of the most powerful things a writer has in his arsenal is human emotion. We must emotionally manipulate the reader, awaken them, anger them, quicken their hearts and bring tears to the eyes. That is doubly true of erotica writers, since we have to do all of those and get them aroused as well.
This was a very romantic tale, easily believable but I was waiting for the passion, the fire to awaken between them...maybe some family,( or better yet a personal) tragedy to pull them back together. Sigh.
It's the only thing I saw that you needed to work on, everything else you have. Find the fire, find the heat to bring your stories to a boil and you will easily be a top writer. Not just of Literotica.
Good work. Really, good work. Now go get some candy sprinkles and chocolate sauce or something. Lol.
MST
The story was good (4, not 5 stars), but there were too few letters omitted. Perhaps a rereading (or a search for "to") would lead to more "too much" (and other similar phrases) and less "to much" in this story. Also, their popped out inappropriately.
Better luck on your next effort. :-)
I can't tell you how great it is to read your stories, thank God you write here, most enjoyable---ignore the nit pickers, it's the content that counts--I would give you a 10 if it were available
Thanks,
Sam
Very sweet love story, not perfect but a very satisfying read.
Nicely incorporates the April Fool's theme too.
Five stars
but a trifle 'rushed' so to speak.
Such a pity that the pretty ones are not like Kayla. . . .
HP
I liked the story, but I agree with Anonymous that you need more editing before posting.
But I really enjoyed this story. It was short and well constructed.
Thanks DGHear!
Please keep writing! Love your work!
It's refreshing to read of a 1st time with romance. Slam, Bam, Thank You Ma'am has it's place, but variety is the SPICE of LIFE!
Looking forward to more!
story. You have a knack of writing good stories in almost any category
This was a pretty good story, but have never understood why people have to always dampen the mood in the story with a condom. I know its smart to use protection but it's a fantasy story for goodness sakes. Condoms do nothing in a story like this but take away the closeness and erotic feeling to what could have been an even better story. 4 stars, could've been 5.
Wonderful! Excellent! Outstanding! ~ I guess that just about sums it up!
I've commented on this story before but,with time it has become one of my top 5 favorites on literotica.com.
Another,kind of similar is,"Tears On My Face" by Cat5. https://www.literotica.com/s/tears-on-my-face
Oh yea, like they really fell in love in so short a time...what a bunch of BS.
good people who care about each other.
I just wish the dialogue was more conversational. It sounds like a story written by Data from Star Trek TNG, a bit stiff and way too formal.
then some are dire....this is somewhere in between...
I find most of your stories engaging and entertaining. This one just felt off. The dialogue was stiff and the story predictable.
just read the comment by Talonsreach and he summed it up perfectly.' nice tale told in a stiff and predictable manner'. This felt more like a brand new author, feeling his way.
Like previous comments say, I was also a little dissapointed, I have read other stories by this author which were much more dynamic. Maybe this was an early piece, dusted off and posted much later? That's what it feels like.
Liked the April 1st letter at the end. I thought it was charming. I didn't really care for your characters that much because they were both a bit too cavalier about fucking around for me to believe they really loved each other but I can convince myself they fell for each other later on.
just recall waste not....want not.....TK U MLJ LV NV
she wanted him to pop her cherry so she could whore herself out during uni...don't that make you want her????
Really enjoyed this tale of a shy high school lad building up the courage to take the popular cheerleader to the prom. Nice job of stretching that connection to a fermented love leading to marriage after college. - I did have a bit of a problem with this "golly,gee" couple turning into a couple of sex maniacs in college only to revert to their "golly,gee" personas after graduating from college. AND,please,The Olive Garden and Red Lobster are NOT fine dining nor romantic spots for consummating romantic connections! ~ All's well that ends well though so I did give this "feel good" story a 5 rating.
It's a pleasure to read a decent love story for a change, bravo. 5 stars
Hi DG,
Once again I've remembered why I began submitting my work here on Lit. It was because of you and all of the wonderful stories (like this one) of yours that you've blessed us with over the years. Thanks, old friend,
MP
As I read your stories, I keep expecting the SHTF and it usually doesn't. I really like happy endings.
Nice. Thank You! !!!!!!
I felt great at the end !!! That is so much nicer than being pissed off. Thank you again for a great ending. Tom
What a well written love story, from beginning to end it was entertaining and seemed to come to life. Well done 5 stars
I was happy to see the nice ending you crafted to end this story. At the beginning, I thought that you might try to pull an April Fools Day on us, the readers! That would have killed the pleasure I derived from reading this story. Thank you. 5 stars+++
BJ
WONDERFUL, AS ALWAYS!! Rob took her cherry, they fell in love and now she's the mother of his daughter. True love oesn't go cold...
If they were so much in love, even at a young age, they would not have stayed away for so long. And she sees him at the game, the love inside is burning, she felt she may have lost him forever - so she has sex with a few other guys in the meantime. Wife material right there!
you have lots of good story lines, but you just can't write! no emotion, no depth, no feeling
Not up to the normal high standards expected, sorry but only a 4 this time out
Thank you for a very sweet tastefully told story with a nicely wrapped happy ending