All Comments on 'Banished Pt. 01'

Cautiously optimistic here, I will keep reading to see where this goes..

Interesting idea and I'm in for the long haul as it seems pretty interesting.

Great story line can’t wait to read more!

If you keep the same style and rhythm to your story I would love to see more this had me hooked after the first few paragraphs.. please post more, I anticipate the next submission of this!

--- D_B

Intriguing. I like where this story is going

Pretty good story, detect a strong S.A.O. influence. Will be interested in the direction the author takes the concept.

The pages just flew by, very engaging first chapter. The opening threw me a little, still not sure what that was about. I was pretty well hooked after that though. It's almost always how the characters react that determine whether or not I like these kinds of stories, and this one is doing pretty well so far in that regard. I like that not everyone is reacting the same way, but the draw to follow a leader that many of them are experiencing seems believable as well; as does at least one of them having a complete breakdown.

You've set up an intriguing storyline, so here's to hoping it only gets better.

I'm curious to see where this goes! Strangers thrown into an other wordly situation? Tension right off the bat. I'm looking forward to reading more!

Really well done, looking forward to reading on.

Interesting story. Looking forward to more.

Well... I'm hooked... It's almost 2 in the morning. I'll start reading more later... Great story mate.

I hope you are not planning on matching Franseca with our MC Nat man, that's a lil pedo my dude. 18 and 32? Hell nah bruh.

Very good first chapter and story though, I can very much relate with the mc. All the choices and deductions he made, made sense to me. I think I might also score a 30 or higher

She's 18, thats legal dumbass which means not Pedo. Some people istg

Almost stopped reading after the strange opening coupling when the author chose to explain how percentages work in this oddly condescending sounding paragraph.

QUOTE

The statistical chance of conception from a single act of unprotected sex on a randomly chosen day was something between two to four percent; or two to four chances out of a hundred.

END QUOTE

I persevered and found the rest of the opening chapter interesting. After learning that the narrator was a high functioning psychopath, the condescending tone made a little more sense. If you have everyone dancing like puppet to your strings, you might assume they can't do the math required to tip a server. You would hide that in a normal conversation to keep people from knowing how you really think, but this wasn't the case here.

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Here's to hoping this guy is more Dexter and less Bundy, eh? Will be reading more now.

Great story and I love the idea of it, can't wait to read more. Little surprised no-one picked up that you revealed the name of the mystery girl though during the argument. Casey for those that missed it.

So the brother is a Psychopath and the sister is a Sociopath family dinners must be interesting affairs pardon the pun!

What a brilliant idea for a story…. Thank you so much, clever, author

interesting interesting start, general idea is great. curious where the psycho part goes, seems odd but unique.