by merf68
Thoughtful and sensual start. Covered a lot in short time period might have been better as two chapters padded out a bit. Well set up for next chapters as she gets pregnant. The whole story collapses if there is no follow up
Perhaps some more buildup was needed but nonetheless, the quality of your writing was very good.
It started very nicely, a nice, soft feeling for each other. But it progressed to rapidly to smut and un·nec·es·sar·i·ly so. It took the edge off a great beginning.