All Comments on 'Dragon's Blood'

Looking forward to the next chapter

Prey/pray, gait/gate - it's just annoying to have a good story interrupted by bad spelling.

Pretty good overall, I liked it.

Noticed one word misuse that hasn't been mentioned, you said "A mired of emotions went through Fia's head" where that word should have been myriad, meaning countless, mired means bogged down, stuck in mud. Or you could have said her head was mired in countless emotions or something like that. 3.5/5 that ill round up :)

What a great read so far and yum @ the plot/dialogue.

Definitely looking forward to the upcoming chapters ;)

Let's see who ends up top dog here.

Place your bets laydees and genlemun

The execution of this "dominant woman" reminds me of a lesbian "cured" of her lesbianism by "a real man"---in that the author doesn't seem to understand what a warrior woman actually is in this context.

I see by the tags that the female crumbling pretty damned quickly was the intent from the start, so there's no real challenge here, no real bet I would take, just waiting for the inevitable:

"No male had ever unnerved Fia like this before. He really was living up to his name; sin." (Interesting--what is a "sin" to her? Original Sin was a Patriarchal invention.)

"She lived in a matriarchal society; a society where women dominated the group and the preeminence of women is seen as absolute. The perceptions, needs, and desires of women have primacy. As a princess she was at the top of the food chain and had to live by example."

Nice to tell us this; but it's usually better to "show," don't "tell." Let the reader come to that conclusion. Patriarchal men don't go around thinking explicitly, "I'm part of a patriarchal society! That means I dominate and my preeminence is absolute. My perception, need, and desires have primacy!"

No....more like they don't think about it AT ALL, because it's "normal" or "the way it should be." It doesn't occur to them that it should be another way, until someone challenges them on it and they have to defend their "rights" (i.e. a Saudi cleric claiming that women driving a car would result in damaged ovaries and therefore infertility). Explaining it this way is like trying to justify why the mustache twirlers want world domination, just an over-the-top: "OF COURSE!"

Basically...I already know what's going to happen, "he's going to know her body better than she ever knew it!" and she's not really a dominant woman who respects herself or has self-confidence not to get shaken so badly in the very first encounter. She's a wannabe submissive. So...why bother reading about the struggle? He's going to win, and she's not really a dominant princess who grew up in a matriarchal society.

To the previous comment- RELAX! It's a story! Stop trying to figure out the end and what you assume is going to happen and just enjoy. Just_Jezebel has given us the beginning of a well written sexy story. Banquet? Breeding Ritual? Negotiations? Count me in!

No rush, but when are we going to see more?

Yum! I am looking forward to where this goes, power plays and all. Well done!

I'm not sure who I want to win but i'm looking forward to finding out. And the writing style is very unique too. 5*

Hit it spot on.

You are telling us instead of writing a story.

You are being inconsistent and telling us one thing, but acctually writing something else.

A woman of a matriarchal society might have a secret desire to be dominated, absolutely, but that´s not how you started out.

As with many other stories I think the main problem is you didn´t provide the reader with fleshed out characters, instead you are simply telling us what they think and feel, and it is rushed.

Take your time, details are your friends. And before you can sell us a character, you have to know it and believe it.

Best of luck. The process of writing is a continuing process, and failiure is beneficial to the progress of the overall writing. Keep practicing!

You'll find that Dragon's Blood Pt. 2 has waaaaay more character development than Pt. 1 does but the power-play/tension carries over. A lot of the questions you might have had from Pt.1 will probably be answered in 2. I love Cin and Fia and stand behind the dialogue, tension and power play happening between them, and we'll continue to see that in future postings.