All Comments on 'First Time Daughter'

Good but you need an editor or proofreader to fix the grammatical errors. The way you changed from talking about your daughter on page 1 to talking to your daughter on page 2 (Kay said.... vs You said....) made it a little difficult to read.

I agree with the other critique but not really bad. Much better than the trash written by Conversations. This was short but developed well, believable. I applaud you 4 stars

DragonRider55

Always love a good daddy/daughter story

It was great...except the two hands massaging her back when he is laying on his back. That is all.