All Comments on 'Home for the Holiday Ch. 02'

You're killing me, slowly... That must be your intention. Please continue soon.

You're back! A nice slow buildup, just your specialty. Don't stop writing - you are particularly skilled. Pink Pearl remains one of my top 5 stories on lit...

and that's a great thing!

You have no idea how much you were missed. This is a great piece of erotica. You make me love teasing.

I am SO glad to see your stories again. They're amazing!

This chapter is a little slow on the up-take. Kind of like slow running water--you eventually get the amount you want, but the waiting is treacherous and tedious!!

Not too much to offer "at this stop", but the blooming and budding foreplay is showing promise!

Rachel has not mentioned what her husband is up to, working, out with the boys on the golf course, etc.?? Hopefully the dickhead can stay in the shadows and be a non-entity!!

Love the slow build-up

The first story seemed like they were in Rachel's house with Blake and it was a mansion. The all of a sudden it seems like they were in their old house they grew up in and some how shared a bathroom all of a sudden tho her bedroom should be half way across the house and his a guest bedroom. But now he has his own bedroom at Blake's mansion and it's connected to the master suite? No it throws the entire story off and for sure Blake has been out with another girl and it's why he made her go out to the concert so he could go off and do his thing instead of being home with her. The story is really all over the place and the build up isnt cute or sweet but just odd and pushed weirdly. Let's hurt each other instead of not hurt each other. I've tried to read all your stories but they just seem to piss me off and at all the parts when it should get good. The actions are different than the internal process and conflict with each other more than allowing the flow of the story. Seems like a cuck story where you are the cuck master and the readers are not getting what they want while you try to wave it front of their face laughing. Stretching out a story that could be done in less than 40k words. Making it chapter after chapter when it could just be a one story many pages 100k worded story. Not sure I want to read the next chapter as I know more than 80 percent will piss me off and then when they do finally do it he will go for 4 or 8 minutes and then be totally spent and then they will fall asleep and repeat their same problems. You repeat a lot of phrases and instances and say the same things over and over without progress. Maybe you just need a better proofreader or something but 2 stars for most of it tho you could be a 5 star writer if you didn't allow your real life to transcend through your stories revealing yourself. Maybe it's cause I've read thousands of these stories now and just don't get some writers while completely understanding others. Sometimes there's even amazing love stories and then all of a sudden the writer had to add dirty talk or bondage or pissing or mom fucking or pregnancy or the leads just turn into sluts fucking everyone and losing the entire focus of the one on one chemistry they build up for the two main leads. Maybe I'll never understand this and that's what most want. I've never cheated or wanted to expand my ways when in a relationship or having feelings for someone. Seems like everyone else is just a real creep with as much eyeballing and secret thinking they do. Disrespect is how I basically see it. These things do not turn On a woman and never have. Unless she is only in it for sex and I've yet to see a female lead be in it just for sex in these stories. It's always the female thinking the male is and he's so dumb he never has the words to emotionally tell her the things she needs to hear and the things that are right to say and easy to say. Ahh these stories could have been so good but most writers on this site just throw it away whenever they can. Let's make 3 chapters of a gray story and then in the last chapter destroy all that. Cause hey that's how life works.