Hooker

I waited a couple of days, hoping Rachel would come to terms with her feelings and call me, but she didn’t. Things were not looking good. So far I had screwed things up for Rachel by supplying ammunition for Gayle to use against her, and now I had screwed up our relationship. Could anything else go wrong?

Yes, it could. Saturday I went to pay Jacqui a visit. She looked different. I realized she was wearing her hair down. On previous occasions she had worn it up. She was also wearing a dark blouse with a high collar. Nonetheless, I could see what she was trying to conceal.

“Jacqui, you’re wearing a collar. I take it you hit it off with Gayle.”

“Yes, we took to each other right off.”

“I was rather hoping you would put a collar on her, maybe gag her, too.”

“Like I told you, I go both ways.”

“Then it’s not likely I’ll be able to enlist your aid.”

“No, not likely. I appreciate the introduction, but I’ll be punished for talking to you today.”

“And how will Gayle find out about this conversation.”

“I’ll tell her. I have to tell her everything. She’s very strict.”

“So you’re going to tell her you’ve talked to me today and she’ll punish you for it. Seems rather ungrateful.”

“Not really. I’m forbidden to talk to you, but considering what you did for me, I thought I owed you this one conversation. I’m willing to pay the price.”

“Like I said, you don’t have to tell her.”

“Yes, I do. I have to do what she says. I hope she’ll be lenient, but I doubt it. She’s doesn’t like you. I’m disobeying her, and I’ll deserve whatever I get.”

I left the restaurant. My plan to use Jacqui as a proxy to gain control over Gayle had backfired badly. Since Gayle had forbidden her to talk to me, Gayle must know I’d sent her. I could only assume Jacqui had told her everything and would tell whatever I said tonight, too. It was time to stop talking and leave.

Well, at least I had hit bottom. All my plans had backfired. Things could only get better from here.

Wrong again. Later in the afternoon I got a call from Rachel. She was in tears.

“You bastard,” she cried, “how could you do this to me?”

“And what is it I’ve done?” I had a suspicion what had happened.

“Those pictures. Pictures of me in a collar, pictures of me in chains.”

“Rachel, I didn’t take those pictures.”

“You did those things to me, chained me up and made me do those things, and now she has pictures of it. If it weren’t for you, there wouldn’t be any pictures.”

I didn’t think the pictures were my fault, but Rachel was hardly in the mood for a rational discussion. “Rachel, calm down, stop crying. We’ll work this out, we’ll fight it, we’ll fix it.”

“Fix it? You have fixed it. Now I’m going to lose Gretchen. I hate you. I never want to see you again.”

After Rachel hung up, I tried to call her back. I let it ring about twenty times, but she wouldn’t answer.

Maybe I should do as Rachel asked (demanded, actually) and just let it go, stay out of her life. I’d certainly fucked everything up so far. I had to admit that as bad as things were, I could make them worse if I wasn’t extremely careful.

I went to bed. Things would look different in the morning.

They didn’t. I got up, made breakfast, and considered my situation. I gave some further thought to saying to hell with it, but I just couldn’t reconcile the idea of abandoning Rachel. I had two problems. The first was to mend my relationship with Rachel, the second was to put a stop to Gayle. I had no good ideas about how to approach either one.

The lawn was due for another trim, so I went out to cut the grass, hoping to get my mind off things for a bit. Unfortunately, cutting the grass is a pretty mindless task. I brooded the whole time and did a lousy job on the lawn besides.

I came back in, showered, made myself a sandwich and got a beer. Just as I sat down to eat, the doorbell rang. Deja vu. Maybe it was Rachel, come to confront me again. I carried the sandwich with me, just for luck.

It wasn’t Rachel. It was Gretchen. This time I was too surprised to get the first word in.

“Why did you do that to my mother? She really liked you and you made her cry.”

Damn, just like her mother. She had a problem, so here she was on my doorstep and in my face. Unlike her mother, however, her bicycle was on the porch.

“Why did I do what, Gretchen? By the way, does your mother know you’re here?”

“No, she doesn’t. Why did you take those pictures. Why’d you mail them to her?”

“She showed you those pictures?”

“No, but I saw her when she opened the envelope. I know where she keeps stuff.”

“So you looked at them.”

“Yeah.”

“First of all, you need to know that I didn’t do either of those things. I didn’t take the pictures, nor did I mail them to your mother.”

“But I thought...”

“Gretchen, I’m in those pictures. How could I have taken them? And why would I mail them? If I’d taken them, your mother would already know about them.”

“I figured you had a secret camera rigged up.”

“What about the one in front of your house? It was taken from across the street.”

“Oh...yeah.”

“I think you and I should have a talk. Would you like to come in?”

“Okay.”

I opened the door and led Gretchen into the house.

“Wow. Mom said this was cool.”

“Have you had lunch yet?”

“No.”

“Would you like a sandwich?”

“Okay.”

I fixed Gretchen a sandwich and got her a glass of milk. This gave me a few minutes to figure out what I was going to say to her. I decided I’d better deal with the pictures right off the bat.

“Gretchen, sometimes adults do things that aren’t necessarily what they appear to be on the surface...”

“You don’t have to talk to me like I’m a little kid. I’m fifteen. I know about sex and stuff.”

“Yes, I suppose you do, but I want to make sure that you understand about what’s in those pictures.”

“I understand. I like to be tied up, too.”

“I see. And have you ever been tied up?”

“Only twice. You have to be careful about who you let do it.”

“That’s wise. Once you’re tied up, you may not have a whole lot of control over what happens.”

“That’s the whole point, isn’t it?”

Gretchen was right. I shouldn’t be talking to her like she was a little kid. In some ways, she was more worldly and sophisticated than her mother. Nevertheless, she was a kid and there were some things I could say to an adult that I couldn’t say to her. Besides, we were talking about her mother. I was going to have to walk a fine line in this conversation.

“So you’re not offended or frightened or angry about seeing pictures of your mother like that.”

“It’s sort of creepy, seeing my mom chained up, but I know she likes it. I think all girls do.”

“That may not be the case. Don’t judge other people by what you like, but you’re right about her.”

“I thought so. I mean, it’s weird because it’s my mom, but she looks really cool in the gown with the collar and everything. I wouldn’t mind if somebody did all that to me...”

“Gretchen, this is not an appropriate conversation.”

“...except for the blow job,” Gretchen continued, unabashed, “That’s sort of disgusting. I don’t think I’d want to do that, but I guess maybe if I was tied up I wouldn’t have a choice.”

“She got a picture of that? Oh, god, I don’t believe she got a shot of that.”

“Who?”

“Who what?”

“You said you couldn’t believe she took a picture of that. Who? Who took the pictures?”

“I don’t know for certain,” I lied. Gretchen was sharp. I’d made one tiny slip up and she had pounced. I didn’t want her to know Gayle had taken the pictures. She would quite likely take action of her own once she had a target. She had already told Gayle to go fuck herself, not to mention coming to confront me. What would she do if she was really pissed?

“Yes, you do. You said ‘she’ and that means you know who it is. I bet it’s Ms. Robbins. It is her, isn’t it. It’s Ms. Robbins.”

“Gretchen, let’s not go jumping to conclusions.”

“You didn’t say ‘no’. That means it’s her. That bitch! I’ll make her sorry.”

“Gretchen, calm down. You’ll do no such thing.”

“Why not?”

“Because Ms. Robbins goal is to take you away from your mother and put you in foster care. Do you want that?”

“No.”

“Then you can’t do anything that will help her. You can’t do anything that will give her ammunition she can use against your mother. You’ve got to be well behaved and well adjusted. Remember when you told her to go fuck herself?”

“You heard about that?”

“That’s the point. I heard about that. So did a lot of other people. You did a lot of damage to your mother’s position with that episode.”

“Oh...but I’ve got to do something. Somebody’s got to do something. We can’t just let her get away with it.”

“I’m working on it. I’ll have the lawyer call your mother in the morning. I’m working on other things as well. It would be easier if your mother would talk to me, but things being as they are, I’ll do what I can.”

“I don’t get it. Why is mom mad at you if you didn’t take the pictures?”

“Because I made the pictures possible. I’m the one who tied her up. If I hadn’t done that, there wouldn’t be any pictures.”

“That’s not fair. You didn’t know there was anyone sneaking around with a camera.”

“True, but irrelevant. Despite your advanced age, you’re still a child and rational. One of these days, you’ll develop female logic, then you’ll understand. Until then, just take my word for it.”

“I don’t get it. Is that a slam or is it supposed to be a compliment? Maybe you better not talk to me like an adult.”

“The fact that you recognize that speaks to considerable sophistication on your part.”

“You’re still doing it.”

“Sorry.”

“So are you and my mom going to get back together?”

“I don’t know. That’s up to her. What do you think?”

“I’m supposed to answer the phone. If it’s you, I’m supposed to say she’s not home.”

“Doesn’t look good, does it.”

“Well, if you don’t, you could tie me up instead.”

“Gretchen, if you ever say anything like that to me again, I’m going to run away from you very fast and you’ll never see me again--after I tell your mother. Now apologize.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thank you. I’m sure there are boys your own age for you to be interested in.”

“They’re all dorks.”

“We all start out as dorks. Some of us get better, some get worse. Your job is to figure out which is which. Judging from some women, that’s not easy to learn.”

“You’re doing it again.”

“Sorry.”

Something occurred to me which I should have thought of earlier. “Gretchen, where does your mother think you are?”

“Out.”

“When does she expect you back?”

“I don’t know.”

“So she doesn’t know where you are or when you’re coming home. She’s worried about you, isn’t she.”

“I guess so.”

“Call her right now.” I handed her the phone. “Tell her where you are.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes, you do. If you don’t, I will.”

“Okay.”

Gretchen dialed the phone. “Hi, mom. It’s me...yes, I am...I’m over at Bob’s...Mr. Canfield’s...no, no it was my idea...I’m alright...yes...okay...here he is.”

“She wants to talk to you.” Gretchen handed me the phone.

“Hello, Rachel.”

“What is my daughter doing over there?”

“The same thing you were doing the first time you came here. She came to give me a piece of her mind.”

“I want her home right now.”

“You want me to drive her?”

“No, she can ride her bike.”

“Okay...hang on just a minute. Gretchen, the bathroom’s in there, through that door and on your right. Go... Now, back to you. Rachel, we need to have a conversation.”

“I am not talking to you.”

“This isn’t about us, it’s about Gretchen.”

“I’ll take care of Gretchen. You stay out of it.”

“Rachel, she’s seen the pictures.”

“What! How could you? I’m calling the police...”

“I didn’t show her. She saw yours.”

“But how? I hid them.”

“When she gets home, I want you to call me. Send her to her room, unplug her extension if she’s got one, do whatever you have to do to make sure she doesn’t overhear, then call me.”

“You did this to me and now you’re doing it to her and you expect me to call you?”

“Rachel, I didn’t do this. Now snap out of it and act like an adult. You’re her mother. Be her mother. As such, you need to have this conversation. It’s about Gretchen and you need to hear what I have to say.”

“But...okay, I’ll call you.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Good. One other thing, don’t ground her or decide what you’re going to do about today’s escapade until after you’ve talked to me.”

“You still talking to my mom?” Gretchen wanted to know as she returned.

“I’m sending her off now,” I told Rachel. “Call me.”

“She’s gonna call you? Are you getting back together?”

“I don’t know. Now, it’s time for you to head home before you’re in any more trouble.”

I saw Gretchen off, then waited for the phone to ring. It took about 45 minutes, but finally it rang.

“Hello, Rachel. Have you talked to Gretchen yet?”

“I could hardly face her, knowing she’d seen those pictures. I sent her to her room.”

“Where to start...okay, first thing you need to understand is why she was here. Remember the first day you showed up on my doorstep? She did the same thing. She was demanding to know why I’d sent you those pictures.”

“But you didn’t send them.”

“She knows that now.”

“But how did she find them? I hid them.”

“Rachel, you can’t hide things in your house. Kids always know the place way better than you do. Every nook, cranny, crawlspace, everything. The only thing you can do with stuff like that is lock it up. And use a combination lock. They’ll find a key.”

“How will I ever face her again after she’s seen me like that?”

“That’s the other thing we need to talk about. She doesn’t hold them against you. She understands.”

“How can she understand?”

“Something you need to understand about Gretchen--she’s fascinated by those pictures. She feels a bit weird because it’s her mother in them, but they turn her on. She told me she likes being tied up.”

“Oh, no.”

“Wrong reaction. It’s okay for you but not for her? She’s your daughter. Don’t be surprised if she likes some of the same things. If that’s what turns her on, then that’s what turns her on. You can’t change it. All you can do is teach her not to surrender herself to someone who’s stupid or evil, and that covers a major chunk of the population. You have to talk to her about that.”

“How can I talk to her about that? I feel like such a hypocrite.”

“But you’re not. In an odd sort of way, she’s gained a new respect for you. You can talk to her about that with a credibility you never had before. You know what she said? She said you looked really cool in your gown and collar.”

“She said that? I can’t believe she said that. How could she think it was cool, seeing me in chains?”

“Rachel, believe me. She asked me to do that to her.”

“You didn’t!”

“Of course I didn’t. The point is that she asked someone to tie her up. Gretchen isn’t as shy as you are. She knows what she wants and she’s at that hormonal age. She confided that she’s already been tied up twice.”

“When? What happened?”

“Rachel, calm down.” She was verging on hysteria. “Calm down and listen to me. I didn’t ask for details. She did say it’s only been twice because you have to be careful who you let do it. She’s smart.”

“I can’t let her do that. She deserves better.”

“Tell her that and you will be a hypocrite. She’s seen the pictures.”

“But I don’t want that for her.”

“That’s her decision, not yours, and it’s already been made. Think about your own case. How old were you when you realized you were turned on by the idea of being tied up?”

“As far back as I can remember, but it seemed shameful to want that. I was always so embarrassed by it.”

“I’ve noticed. It’s one of your sexier qualities.”

“Let’s keep the subject on Gretchen.”

“Right. Okay...there are four points I wanted to get across. First, Gretchen is very protective of you. She came over here on her own to chew me out for making you cry. She thought I had sent those pictures.

“Second, as a result of seeing those pictures, your daughter has revealed her own sexual preferences. You’re better off knowing that than not knowing.

“Third, now that you know that, you need to discuss it with her. She’s too young to be engaging in sexual activities, but since she’s already been tied up a couple of times, she’s obviously been involved in some level of horse play. You’ll be better off and better informed about her activities if you discuss it with her rather than censure her. It will be harder for you than for her. It doesn’t embarrass her the way it does you.

“Lastly, she knows it was Gayle that sent the pictures...”

“You told her?”

“No, she figured it out on her own. I told you she was smart. You need to talk to her about that as well. You can’t have her seeking revenge on her own. She might do something that would provide Gayle with some major ammunition. Make sure she understands that, but don’t cut her out of the loop. If she doesn’t feel like she’s involved, she might decide to act independently. And that’s all I have to say.”

“I need to think about this. It’s a lot to take in all at once.”

“It’s really all the same thing, but it’s a big lump just the same. One more thing, call John in the morning and tell him about the pictures.”

“Oh, god, I can’t tell him about that.”

“He already knows. I told him the minute I got my set.”

“She sent them to you, too?”

“Yes, but I didn’t know at the time you’d gotten a set. He needs to know that. Call him. I know it won’t be easy, but you have to do it. He’s not judgmental and he can help. If you love Gretchen, you’ll put aside your embarrassment and call him.”

“Alright, I’ll do it.”

“Good. And call me if I can help. If that’s a problem, call me as Gretchen’s mother, rather than as Rachel. Understand?”

“I understand.”

“Speaking of Gretchen’s mother, you’d better go have that conversation with Gretchen.”

I got another beer and went to sit on the front porch, hoping my head would stop spinning. At least now I was pretty sure things couldn’t get any worse, although I wouldn’t have backed that opinion up with money. In some ways I felt like things were better. I was glad for the conversation with Rachel and was hopeful about patching things up. I was also glad to have spent part of the afternoon with Gretchen. She was quite a young woman in her own rite and I hoped she would be successful in her quest for a non-dork. She was going to be quite a handful. He would probably want to keep her tied up for a number of reasons.

I dragged my mind away from the subject of Rachel and Gretchen and returned to the problem at hand. Gayle had made her move. Unfortunately, I had no counter move. Perhaps I should wait for her to make yet another move, but I didn’t like that idea. What would her next move be? The only way to find that out would be the hard way.

The next day, for lack of alternate ideas, I decided to pay Jacqui another visit. Maybe I could get her to say something useful. I sat at the same table I’d occupied the last two times. Jacqui’s eyes widened when she saw me. She did an about face and had a hurried conversation with one of the other waitresses. The other waitress came over and handed me a menu.

“I thought this was Jacqui’s table.”

“Today it’s my table,” she informed me.

“Could I be seated in Jacqui’s section?”

“Her section is full.”

The place wasn’t even half full. I ordered a light lunch and tried to watch Jacqui without staring too rudely. She still wore her collar and she moved oddly, as if it hurt. She had a party at a table near me, but when she was at that table she would always manage to keep her back to me. I tried twice to make eye contact, but each time she looked away. She was frightened. I finished my meal and left.