by Scheherazade88
I hope you enjoy this Syrian saga, please do provide feedback as it is important to know what you think.
i was drawn to your story because i am 'from the neighborhood' so to speak... the basic story line is great. i liked how you took the time building Suhair's background and character.
however as the story progressed it became very rushed, to the point where it felt like you kept it as notes and did not take the time to really write it all. there could easily be three full chapters out of this single one.
also in terms of the language you kept switching around between present tense and past tense which was very jarring to me.
the sex scenes were also very rushed for me, could use some slowing down.
overall it was enjoyable but i would strongly recommend a good editor and a lot more patience in your writing... keep at it, i'm looking forward to the next chapter!
xoxo,
small_town_girl
Well thanks for that very detailed feedback, I will look into your suggestions.
Please do continue! I was hoping there was a Ch 2 already. It's not the usual boiler plate stock plot! I will wait to see what happens and look forward to reading some more super spicy BDSM ;-).
I am Middle Eastern as well and love reading all stories that are set there-
Don't worry, I will make sure the second part is even better than this one. The idea behind this series is not only to focus on Suhair's story, but to tell different stories with different people in Syria. If anyone has any ideas or requests, please do message me.
Liked it. Its always so interesting to hear perspectives from different cultures. I really like the plot but it felt too rushed. Waiting for the next chapter. Hope we see some Bashar action..he is hot..I like him better than the nice guy :P
Most impressed with your story. I greatly liked how you have waven history into your story with this series. Of course, the sex and its detail to the action was also good. I am struck with how much you seem to like history and try to add something from it in pretty much every story you have posted here on Literotica.com. Please keep up the good work, look forward to reading more from you.