All Comments on 'My Little Ventrue Ch. 01'

Great story so far - good dialogue, good world building, and pretty interesting plot. I did think the introduction to the characters was a little weak but the good dialogue and the speed of which this story developed mitigated that.

I look forward to your next chapter. Thanks for posting!

This is really interesting. PLZ keep going.

The story seems well written and engaging.

I was amazed that Literotica had once again butchered a story title -- "Ventrue" ?? However, Googling "Ventrue" suggests that the author may have another plan in mind.

yeah this author is setting their tale in Vampire The Requiem. it's a tabletop RPG that's been out for a while. you might want to wikipedia it.

Earlier origins may also come from the 1996 TV show Kindred The Embrace which was based on an RPG Vampire the Masquerade. Although the show only had 8 episodes I liked it and I think you are doing a good job with your story. Keep it going!

Five stars all the way. It has terms from a Vampire detective series which was about a girl who could raise the dead, ware wolves and vampires. Great series and I like it when each new author borrows terms that are all ready in canon use for the supernatural.

'My Little Venture ' has so much potential. Also coming late to the series I can see that it's continued and concluded.

All stories must end.

Anonymous comments should be banned

For people new to this series, and a little put off by this first chapter, I hope you'll at least read up to the end of Chapter 3. Personally, I'm not too happy with how Chapter 1 turned out, but if you read up to the end of Chapter 3, I think that's where the series starts to find its groove.

I read this story ages ago but lovely NovusAnimus hadn’t yet posted the last chapter. I kinda forgot about this story until randomly stumbling across it yesterday…now I’m weirdly excited to read it again in its entirety. 😅 I remember fucking loving it

He'll yeah! Love how you worded the first rule. Very Victorian and in keeping with lore? Idk. Total nerd here with DnD and Anne Rice. Haven't found much for paranormal involving vampires I like how chapter one started out. My only gripe is how hard Julia's had to spell it out for Jack that he's now a vampire. Lol. Guess it makes it all the more real how unrealistic vampires are to the straights. Now on to ch. 2.

Very VTMB. Nicely in keeping with the VTM lore. I like it so far.

As suggested, I'm gonna stick around until the third chapter, but I'm definitely not hooked yet. Admittedly I'm not wild about the vampire genre and frankly this story seemed to hit on all the tropes that make me dislike it. I'll never understand why every vampire has to be written the exact same way. Has there never been a vamp who wasn't completely self-centered and pretentious? Or one who doesn't look like they just did a cover shoot for Vogue or GQ? And I'm really not looking forward to getting into politics and power struggles; that stuff bores me to tears in vamp stories.

I'm also having a lot of trouble figuring out what you're going for with Julias. Am I meant to dislike him? He refers to humans as sheep and causes serious bodily harm to random passers by, yet this comes in the middle of him resolving to be more honest with Jack. It was like you were trying to show he is actually a good person struggling with doing the right thing, while simultaneously pointing out that he is callous and inconsiderate. If he thinks so little of humans, then why hasn't he drained one dry in years? His world view flip-flops like every five minutes.

I was looking for something more along the lines of 'What We Do In the Shadows.' These vamp tropes are so cliched I really feel like they only way they can be done anymore is in a comedic fashion. Or at least a more down to earth one. I'll give it a few more chapters to see if it clicks, as you do write well, but I just don't think the concept is for me.

At this point in the story Julias is depressed, for various reasons. I have no clue what you're talking about though, Julias inflicting serious bodily harm?

I'm going to be presumptuous and give you some detailed answers so the author doesn't have to.

> I'll never understand why every vampire has to be written the exact same way.

Its the FIRST CHAPTER thats a pretty big assumption, but ok having read only the first chapter also it sounds like a pretty standard Camarilla indoctrination story gone slightly awry. Possible he is setting it up like his Greek Hero and setting expectations that he will then subvert? We shall see.

>Has there never been a vamp who wasn't completely self-centered and pretentious?

Vampires, especially in the Masquerade universe, can be long lived, hard core predators. Self-centered to various degrees due to their focus on survival and its not pretentious if you have multiple years to develop actual talent, culture and importance.

>Or one who doesn't look like they just did a cover shoot for Vogue or GQ?

It explains it in the story that he was grooming him with exercise and lifestyle coaching. If you were going to turn someone into your immortal sidekick and you had plenty of time to shop around would you choose a pudgy bodied, fedora tipping incel, neo-anarchist twat waffle douche bag, or would you choose a handsome, fit, complimentary minded bloke who you could shape before fixing him into an immortal?

>And I'm really not looking forward to getting into politics and power struggles; that stuff bores me to tears in vamp stories.

Yup thats not for everyone, but again ..only the first chapter.

>I'm also having a lot of trouble figuring out what you're going for with Julias. Am I meant to dislike him?

Maybe? We just met him give him a chance...you may end up hating his guts.

>He refers to humans as sheep

I agree with him most humans ARE sheep and Im not even a vampire. If you think every human is a unique snowflake worthy of your respect and time then you havnt met enough people. Top that with being a immortal super predator who has a beast inside with an insatiable lust for blood that they constantly fight against and....baaaa baaaa.

>and causes serious bodily harm to random passers by,

A couple broken sheep bones while serious are NOT as serious as your bro being stabbed ten times...priorities.

>yet this comes in the middle of him resolving to be more honest with Jack.

Jacks his bro and possible vampire cohort in training which makes him worthy of being not one of the faceless masses. To be fair he even points out that if Jack breaks the Masquerade he will kill him and whomever he told to clean it up....he just wont like it.

>It was like you were trying to show he is actually a good person struggling with doing the right thing, while simultaneously pointing out that he is callous and inconsiderate. If he thinks so little of humans, then why hasn't he drained one dry in years? His world view flip-flops like every five minutes.

You should read the Masquerade rules on Humanity and the Beast it goes a long way into explaining this juxtaposition. Julias isnt human...he can work to be more humanlike but at the end of the day he deals with hungers and urges you, and I, as a mortal cant really fathom. Doesnt mean he has to be a bloodthirsty dick, just means its harder to do so especially as they age and/or dont work at it. Also leaving drained bodies all over the place is usually a big nono for Camerilla not because they care about human life so much as it raises to many questions.

Not going to address the rest of your post since it was opinion based, and not relevant to the worth of this story.

TLDR Covid19 gives me lot of free-time and I have only read the first chapter. Maybe read a bit further.

Thanks for the defense. But it is true some character personalities weren't settled on well at this point in the story.

Also this story is set in Vampire: the Requiem, not Masquerade. Things are a little different. Mostly the same, slightly different.

I've come back to this story a few times since you first started it and it's still a God damn banger. Not everyone's cup of tea, and there's parts I don't enjoy/agree with, but shit what story doesn't? Still a top five on here for me.

You had me at Requiem! Like your writing style and love the theme. You have a fan in me :) /AnonymousSheep

I must’ve attempted reading this story at least 5 times over the years. I can’t get into it. I don’t get it. It irritates me to no end. Have NO idea how anyone can give it any stars at all. I wish I could pinpoint what it is that just makes this impossible for me to read, but I’m not attempting to read this again, nor will I waste time on it.

What did I think of it? Not much. In fact, I thought it was total shite.

Thanks for writing this story, I love it!

It is sad to see people writing such negativity after only the first chapter in a story with over 150 chapters in it. The fact that they are analyzing Julian to such an extent when the character has just been introduced and we know almost nothing about him is ridiculous. The same could be said about Jack, who has just been introduced into all worlds that he knew nothing about outside of mythology, and is freaking out from match. If I was in that situation, I would be freaking out also!

Give the author a break for god sake! Give the story a chance to develop before, going into long tirades of analyzation, as if you’ve read the entire book of war and peace. If you have a problem with vampire stories, then shut the hell up and move on to a different genre. Personally, I enjoy the way that this story has started and I’m looking forward to what comes next.

I know that this is years after the story was written and finished, but I had to put in my humble two cents. Thank you for taking such time and effort into writing not only is this story, but I have completed another epic story that you have written and enjoyed Completely.

Sincerely,

Daniel

P S. If you notice, I don’t write negative things, and then hide behind anonymity, but will put my name to anything that I write in the comment section.

Intriguing so far. I look forward to seeing how the story develops. 😁

Well... This was suggested to me, as it apparently hit's some of my preferences.

So far I disagree, in fact I dislike.

But I have seen few stories that take 6-12 pages to get me hooked, and turn out to be really good so I'm going to give it a chance.

No choice, but a friend in need is a friend indeed. A great start to what promises to be a well thought out and written story. I look forward to reading the next chapter. As this is my first foray into your writing and the first story you posted here I have added you to my favorites list. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

I liked it very much I am looking forward to reding more.