All Comments on 'My Sister's Holiday Present'

Nice story, but short. Everything happens too quickly, there is no development of the story. The next time, should better explain the development of events, to give more emphasis to the story.

3* for you.

Very good story...got me thinking there must

be more you can write to make this story great....

hope to read more...thank you...

WOW, great story and the way you wrote it brought the plot along very nicely. I like the idea of his sister and then himself; keeping their eyes shut when they are in his room and having sex. His baby sister says let's finish it; is a hot magic phrase and his sister allowing him to shave her and fondle her was a huge step. Trust and love was present and how they acted after was just right. Hopefully, in the next chapter; his sister will tell him she wants to continue and they experiment and he bangs her long and hard then softer and longer. Maybe, they will form a very strong sexual bond and take every safe opportunity to play when Mom and Dad are away. Maybe, even a trip after Christmas before they go back to school ?? Thank you !!

I guess it must be hard to follow the general rules of the English languagw... Pity... No one seems to care

Hard to follow indeed.

I don't want to discourage you from writing but this story was poorly written. I suggest you proof read your work several times before posting it. Avoid terms like 'down there' and 'nether regions' - say pussy if you mean pussy. Your target audience is adult, not preteen. The dialogue is frequently stilted and awkward. I'm just trying to tell you that your story could have been much better and easier to read if you'd put a little more effort into it. Good luck in the future. Keep writing and improving. Your readers will show their appreciation.

Thanks for the story, I was expecting another chapter! I really thought he was going to lick her puss in the shower ;)

Plot was a bit thin--(motivation, backstory, etc.). Sex was good. His shaving her pussy was good. Don't worry too much about the grammar-Nazis; most of us who visit this site are not here for great literature.

There is nothing wrong with a brother loving his sister, I loved all 5 of my sisters but never made love to any of them. The fact that they were close in age to one another and the fact that they don't appear to have other siblings is enough to build a special bond between them, including sex. Tough parents could also bring children closer to each other. Fathers loving their daughters and mothers loving their sons is natural but the possibility of them making love together is rare.

I prefer a real woman, not one that looks like a 5 year old.

Story was flowing well and at the end it just felt incomplete like there was more story to tell but it left the reader unfulfilled. 4-stars

That really lacked in substance and purpose, it started off ok but left me with lots of "wait, what?"

Never put a cummy tissue in the trash can - always flush it down the toilet. And secondly - a disposable razor for shaving a pussy? Never. It has to be a really good five-blade razor. The disposable is a sure fire recipe for lumps and bumps.