All Comments on 'Putting on a Show'

A decently sexy short story but I'd like to see it flashed out with some more evocative language. Build up the anticipation to each sex act and describe them in fuller detail. As it was the story was a bit matter of fact. Additionally it was marred by a variety of grammar and spelling mistakes that could be easily cleaned up with some light editing.

What is a nippel?

Thanks @BamboozledBeaver for your feedback!