by BreakTheBar
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This is well written. The original story (ongoing) the two stub series off the main story (also ongoing) by corruptingpower. As well as this branch by breakthebar have been some of the most consistent world building that I have read on the site.
I like the setup and the tie in to the OG series. Setting up Native Americans as antagonists though makes me as a reader uncomfortable. That's a very touchy subject and I'm not sure that's a great plot line to explore.
Generally good, I'd probably shy away from politics as much as possible, but I can see your reasoning for pulling it in and I hope it pays off.
Good story so far. I'm enjoying it. One thing I don't like about the original Quarenteam story is all the politics, so I agree with James_Duncan about his request to avoid that as much as possible. Having grown up in the upper Midwest, I'm familiar with Indian/white tensions, and I'm interested to see where you go with them. Keep up the good work.
You added some serious firepower for vaccination matches which has already paid off in dividends. You have a spectacular imagination when it comes to character creation.
Your doing a great job. Just wish it was coming faster. But I know you can’t rush a fine meal.
Great story line, I enjoyed the original and I like this one a little better. I'll be glad when you can get the next chapter of Font of Fertility completed.
Honestly, Harrison and his colonizing family are in the wrong. This new subplot make me HATE him and I really hope he suffers some true pain and loss in the upcoming chapters.
Am liking this expansion of the Quaranteam world. I agree that the Native American friction is messy territory, and I hope it doesn't blow up, if it's not too late for course correction. I hope maybe Vanessa is in for the long haul, and wonder if by some crafty plotting and extraordinary grace of character(s) Kara might bend and find herself in the compound eventually, but that's probably a stretch. I just like seeing people get along, especially in bed. Or on the sofa. Or dining table. Or stairway. ...
More, please. It all feels right, and true to the source it has spun off from. Good writing, good storytelling.
Hey love the story so far, this is just as good as the original story too! I'm gonna be a little sad if Feather and Kara aren't in the harem in the future. Mainly because one day their descendants will reinherit the land of their ancestors. That whole subplot is rather dark but I'd like to see a good end (or at least as good as it glcan get for this fucked situation)
🤣🤣 people who hate people for the actions of their ancestors are the most biggoted brain-dead people around.
You can see the signposting with regard to future "family" members (unless by my saying so it changes BreaktheBar's plans and therefore if I'm wrong you can't hold it against me!). Vanessa is clearly Erica's choice (albeit inchoate at this point in the story), while we could see the disease striking the local tribe and Harrison acting as Kara's "Prince Charming" to save her.
A fascinating yarn. I want the rest of it!
Great characters, although some may be a little over-inked
I must comment as a biologist that it would seem to me far more likely that semen would be the best vector for the vaccine and that men getting the vaccine from women seems a little haphazard. Vaccinating the men might be unpredictable and that would be the bottle-neck. However it is not my scenario and as I said it makes a good yarn.
For all those commentators saying stay out of politics, remember this, once you get three or more humans interacting you have politics.
This story and most of those in literotica are political stories. Suck it up!
Yep once again I loved it like all your other stories and chapters. Thanks for your hard work
I liked the original stories so much I stayed up all night reading them. This series is every bit as good, just a different writing style. I have seen some terrible writers and some great writers on Literotica. You belong in the latter category. Out of literally thousands of writers, you are in the top 10.
Oh, I really can't afford you Patreon. Sorry. I get $820 a month from Social Security and it only goes so far.
Whats hilarious is not ten minutes after reading Ivy's scene I swear I stumbled across a video featuring your inspiration for her. Slender, blonde, Quebequois girl with her exact tattoos.
@Anon - "Honestly, Harrison and his colonizing family are in the wrong. This new subplot make me HATE him and I really hope he suffers some true pain and loss in the upcoming chapters."
I think you'll find, on closer examination of the facts, that the entire North American continent was forcibly taken from its original, Native, inhabitants by the ancestors of many/most living Americans/Canadians. Just because you live in LA or NYC or Vancouver or Toronto doesn't mean that where you live wasn't once 'Native land'. Just sayin'. It's true, own it!
5* thanks for sharing
Dixon (UK)
If you guys want to actually see Ivy in action, look up Eden Ivy. All I can say is holy shit I think the real girl is wilder.
Personally i like this story more than the original at least you get it right that poiticians and beaurocrats cant find their asses with both hands even with gps and a dedicated sattelite surveilance. and yeah i know i cant spell.
She has precisely the same tattoos as story Ivy, check her out
Excellent story, by the way
Enjoyable. Along with the original story, I want to follow yours and the flyover series. All quality writing.
Interesting reading this as a comparison to the original from CP, you’ve spent a lot more time setting the scene and doing the prep, I suspect I CP wrote it again that would likely be a change. This way we get a much better outline of how the enclave happens, but without the duo-halo insider info from the Phil character, or the “card game” drama, this version of the story works really well and fills in the story of how New Eden “just came to be” ready to move in. The one big plot hole I’m hoping is covered is the food supply and utilities, which somehow just magically never fail despite the people staffing those industries succumbing to the virus same as everyone else. 🤞 For the rest of the story. Cheers, Ppfzz.
Great story, but the Canada shows. They may be a "Reserve" in Canada but in the States they are called "Reservations". A "Reserve" in the United States is for wildlife, not Native people. How do I know this? Cause I guess I sort of is one... :-) Indian that is.
I am amazed at the comment of "Anonymous - Dixon from UK". He must not read the history of his own UK. There has not been a time that outsiders were not overrunning the UK since before the Romans—especially the F- - -ing English. The Sun Never Goes Down On the British Empire" so that means the sun never went down on the people who had been exploited by the F...ing English. Including America!
Getting better. So many opportunities for Sub plots, I wonder if any will be developed