by MattblackUK
Almost all of Edriders stories peeve me off beyond belief and end before the wounded party ever has a chance to truly react once they are free(a lot of guys are tied up and tortured). I think it's because even the author knows that there's no getting past whats been done. This sequel was marvelous in my opinion, maybe a tad overboard with the schizophrenia and drug possessions but it certainly made me feel a lot better. 5 stars from me.
This was good, and a great what happened next story.
Have to ask though, where is the "in sickness and in health"? They are admitting her for mental health problems. She is sick. He is the bad guy in this. What will he tell his kids in a few years when they ask why he bailed on their sick mom? Not much love or compassion for a sick wife!
I always wondered where this could go. I've seen a couple of takes, and this is a good one. Five stars from me. Thanks for writing, Randi.
Thank you for giving me a different ending to that horror of a story. Really, I feel better now.
Though I feel it played too much to the psychiatric nature of Vera's actions. Though, admittedly, odd or unusual occurrences are what often make good storytelling. An "evil" mother, locking her beautiful daughter in a tower, who grows her hair so long it reaches the ground outside. A sad sack little boy, who time after time after time tries to kick the football out of the neighbor girl's hands, never learning. A wartime dog, who heroically knows the live grenade thrown at his master is a bad thing, and carries it away from the troops. Etc. "Unusual" often makes for a good story. Perhaps only film noir is about plain ordinary mundane people, and their mundane thankless lives, having plain ordinary occurrences (or not occur as the case may be) that doesn't encrich their existence one iota is considered interesting... by some.
It is a good divergence from where edrider had lead his story, where the protagonist suffers, with no apparent pain to the agonists. Something I dislike about the end of a lot of his/her stories. Usually a nice story and interesting plot for 90% of the story (which is why I continued reading them), with a zonker of an end. This was a "good" twist, just a little bit unrefined. Of special note is the stilted dialogue (not the only person who does this, but it's a pet peeve of mine, along with homophonic spelling errors), which some additional editing might have helped.
Still, a good read, and an easy 4-stars
are you able to comprehend any total outcome incurred, TK U MLJ LV NV
Great finish to the disturbing actions by the "crazy lady." Sorry edriders not alive to read this.
Five Stars
not only well written, but well constructed to deal with the her mental illness, and she was an evil bitch mental illness not with standing. Best follow up ive read in a while. ed would be pleased I think
The best sequel of @edrider73's story...At least it didn't change the behaving of the original characters and touched the main point of her character: She wasn't a fit mother...4*
... "Emotional Support", where authors and readers can go to work through their bitterness around their divorces, whilst Loving Wives remains for those readers just interested in Erotica.
Reasonably well written tedium.
I mean, I'm still pretty fucking bitter towards my ex-wife who pulled some epic fucked up shit, but WOW, the bitterness in this story gives me chills.
And highly unrealistic. Although what the wife did was kind of fucked up, I saw it as nothing more than a poor practical joke. If you left your wife and family over that, you really didn't love her in the first place. Some people have serious emotional issues and will Burn a Bitch over anything. 😂😂
Fair story continuation but a bit more research into psychopathology, forensics, and commitment procedures would help. Made my teeth grind together.
Was riding along with you and liking your driving until Vera was taken down as far as she was.
Reg and Penny seemed a little over the top with all.the drugs but what happened with Vera soured me a little.
She certainly deserved repercussions as did Reg and Penny. It seemed a bit much though.
Had fun and thank you!
.... the Sick, Degenerate,Cream Pie Eating Fetish trash that the CuckyBoy's love.
Five stars!
This was also the best follow up . Well done. 5 stars.
Matt’s in the house! The lights are on!!! All you Wimp Ass Castrated Cuckold characters better scurry for the safety of those dark corners because Matt’s Back and he is cleaning house in his most unique and appreciated manner. Seems Matt bought a Sword and named it Kndness. Now he is killing WACC stories with Kindness! HooRa . Thanks Matt you are one of the Few, the Brave and the Determmined to defend men with balls (not many of us left in LW). JOIN Men in support of #METOO Never turn a blind eye to abusive behaviour. We R the solution to the problem WE caused. Thank you Matt
Thanks, your follow up is as good, if not better than the original.
tasty creampies for you closet cuckies, slurp them up :)
And frankly, it's quite unrealistic. I get that your opinion of what she did was cruel, and it is, but not nearly to this degree. The letter clearly shows concern for what she was doing and his mental state.
I'd be angry, but I wouldn't want a divorce. And I don't think most husbands would. And certainly the letter doesn't show severe mental illness.
Overall, I'd say that the characters from your story are only superficially related to the previous, and much better, story. This reads more like wish-fulfillment for a revenge story than an genuine continuation of that. And while I do enjoy good BTB stories, I didn't enjoy this one.
Well, I can't say I wouldn't but it would take something extreme. Certainly if she was laughing with her co-conspirators, it would probably be a done deal. Even after a night away, she seems fully justified in the pain she caused and remorseless.
Which speaks to the poor writing in THE ORIGINAL STORY. Edrider doesn't seem to be all quite there. He still defends the actions of the original wife.
How is love not reciprocal? As stated in my story "Dear Andrea", if HE loves HER, he should get over it. If SHE loved HIM...she never would have done it in the first place! Or at least let him do anything he needed to do to put his pain away.
I can see a man not divorcing his wife over this. But I see a marriage limping along for a long time after that. And she would never take another class as long as he lived.
Matt outlined it wonderfully: if this is the amount of pain she is willing to do to him when she is over the moon in love with him, God help him if she ever hated him! He mirrored my feelings exactly.
After meeting Reg and Penny, I'm sorry but this story veered hard into Never Never land. It was well written, but it strained credulity.
If he got the promotion a couple of months ago, why hasn't Karen told him about it? Surely this scheme hasn't been in the works that long?
"she allowed herself a chuckle at that idea" - Karen finds it amusing that Gary might not be up for work after what happened?
"I helped her because I didn't think Gary was ready for his promotion!" - Then she should have said that to Thomas! He's HER boss, it's not her place to overrule his personnel decisions.
LOL, Karen was hoist on her own petard!
Since Vera obviously had the combination to the safe, she presumably had legal access to the gun, how much trouble could she really be in? She had a legitimate excuse for wanting to get the gun out of the house.
"setting her husband up to make him think that she was having an affair and then accusing him of being paranoid" - That doesn't sound familiar to me.
I think the mental illness was a little bit too much of a Deus ex Machina.
I think there are limits to "in sickness and in health" when the sickness is taken out on the partner.
As has already been pointed out more research was needed when writing about US vs UK systems. ATF responding on a single .38 revolver that has not been used in a major act yet? I gave the story 3*
The original was very unsatisfying as it left the matter as a fait accompli. Vera's take on her actions was just the way things would be and she would wait until he was done being pissed off at her and come crawling back. Gary is left destroyed and impotent.
While the wrapping was very creative, the concept is the classic superior woman claiming the right to do whatever she wants to do and the husband just having to accept it. Usually it's one time affair that the wife MUST have and the husband will just have to deal with.
Was this follow-up over the top? Well, certainly all the pieces were neatly arranged to inflict maximum pain on Vera and her co-conspirators. However, nothing is that far from reality. Is it possible that his company's boss is a good guy that doesn't want his managers taking actions that could damage his company? Sure. Could cops be worried about a stolen gun and insist on a search? Sure. Is it possible that a stock broker could have drugs in his car? Sure. Is it possible that a supremely arrogant Vera has psychological problems? Sure. Could a judge be worried about an unstable mother taking care of her kids? Sure.
Are all these things perfectly arranged and amplified to result in a BTB story? Of COURSE they are. Just like the original was very carefully arranged to give Vera what she wanted. The first may have been a better story on creative merits than this one but I found this one more satisfying.
but i do think alone and miserable would have been a more fitting conclusion than insanity
When I first read the original I wanted to strangle Vera myself. The other endings were about what you would expect. When I first looked to see how the voting was going I decided what the heck go ahead and read it.
I was in agreement with everything up until the firing of Karen and the confrontation of Vera, Reg and Penny (I don't remember where she came from). The holding back on his promotion would have been something H/R would have been involved in not just Karen. I would have believed a demotion not termination would have worked better that way if she didn't like it she could quit and the company would have been in a better position.
It as still a good read compared to most of the other stories being posted lately.
The question of Karen's guilt was clarified by inserting the delay in advising the gentleman to be promoted. At least the author did not decide to kill Vera in a nice auto accident....
HR's only involvement with promotions is processing the paperwork. They wouldn't even know anything about it until they got the form signed by the manager.
Very few businesses still have "moral turpitude" in their employment terms. But firing for "gross misconduct" is plausible enough.
I had edrider confused with Mostera1. Sorry for the mistake. Sorry Ed.
“Just another sick fetish story to appease the B.T.B”
How about you go eat a cream piew,
4* for a this story Matt
Get your facts or terminology straight. A person receiving a six month sentence it is not for prison but for jail. In this case since they had another sentence for over a year they would run concurrently in the facility of the longer sentence.
....To a tale of horrendous cruelty! Vera was truly a monster who earned everything that came to her in this sequel. IMO, the only thing that could have made it worse would be to actually have fucked Reg.
Thanks very much for this one. Five big ones from here!
Most refreshing; someone with a brain and new ideas. Most of the so called authors on her simply try to find a new way of eating someone else's cum without sucking a dick. Lamb duck want to be fags. Great work keep writing.
Date rape drugs and mental health issues are typically introduced as excuses for someone's misdeeds. Would have been better to not have them and just have the kids hate their mom for what she did to their dad and become too hostile toward her to remain in her custody.
because is real life people with money can do anything they want, just listen to Prev. Trump that he could shot someone and not loose a vote.. Since Reg and Penny had lots of money, I do not see this story happen.
Found the story very entertaining.
Thank you for writing and looking forward to reading more from you.
Really overlooked that part about Karen.
<P>
This is so far over the top it's more of a satire than a sequel.
And as your story illustrates, most experiments fail. That is too harsh a verdict for this exercise. I can relate to Gary's reaction, but no more so than if he decided to accept Vera's experiment as just a very poorly thought out failure. Divorce is a good way to end a toxic relationship, but a stupid way to punish someone you still love.
Vera was really really stupid. It would take more background information to decide her experiment was conducted with cruelty and malice. Making her a psychopath was contrived to help justify Gary's extreme reaction to her actions. But it was needed to keep Gary from looking like the complete villain.
Overall an outrageous and over the top extension of the story line, which is your choice. I thought the original was better without this odd sequel. But I do appreciate your efforts.
Vera is mentally ill not a cheating bitch. This story needs a more defined ending with Vera getting the help she needs and Reg and his wife in jail.
this ending just doesn't cut it. All of a sudden she is a shrinks dream . To much phyco Babel . And a worse ending.
I don't remember Penny and Vera being related. Why would Vera's children need to stay with Penny's mother?
Gary and Vera had three children, Reg and Penny had two children. It was the children of Reg and Penny who stayed with Penny's mother.
Also, "This ending is so full of holes and weird" Vera's story was not the dream of a psychiatrist. The story ended in the way it started because I was using that as a device to indicate that, having messed her own life up so badly, Vera was stuck in a secure psychiatric hospital.
I liked the first part, but when you got to the part in the story where the gun was reported stolen it started falling apart. You changed from showing to telling, and the divorce/ psychological report was verging on and subsequently blowing past ridiculous.
The best you can do to a rebuttal/extension to an Edrider story is try to tell us that the wife is a psycho?!?!
LOL that’s the point of that author’s stories.
At least Ed is original...brutal, violent, sick...but original.
You are not.
You should have left it alone. The original was at least imaginative. This is hackneyed, smug and self-righteous.
I did read two or three edrider73 stories many years ago.
Found them depressing, disgusting, and needlessly cruel. Definitely not entertaining too me. Sounds like "Strange Car in the Driveway " was more of the same,😲. Not surprised, lol.
MattblackUK writes about the consequences. I bet very different from the original story 😅. Not a lot of substance here, so I gave you 2*s.
Your original stories are put together better, more substantial.
Thanks for the effort MattblackUK.
AMerryman
You should have left the story alone - and submitted something worth reading
Trust is a fragile thing, and once broken can never be fully repaired. That alone would be reason enough to dump the bitch. Do I have a problem with her being portrayed in this story as mentally I'll? No! I think anyone who could do such a thing as she did to her husband has mental issues. The gun and drug issues were just added plot issues that helped point the way to Reg and Penny having deeper reasons for using their influence on the wife than were apparent at the beginning.
Sometimes the world is a shitty place. Sometimes the good guy wins. Sometimes an author writes a story where these two things collide with as happy a result as is possible given the situation. Obviously I enjoyed reading this story, but more that it had a decent ending rather than it was entertaining, although it was that, for myself at least. I only wish more authors would take a chance at putting a better ending to some of the stories that have appeared on literotica over the years.
There seems to be a little contradiction in Karen's attitude between Vera's description of her willingness to participate, and Karen's explanation to Thomas.
At first I thought so. It is so disjointed and stupid that it couldn’t be anything but garbage. Then I read where someone mentioned satire. That is the only thing this story could qualify for.
the funniest line in the story? "How could such an evil scheme be perpetrated without any malice?" By stupidity.
His wife wasn’t cruel. Just stupid. His reaction was so far over the top to not be believable. She never cheated. It was just a ‘practical joke" that was stupid. He should have been angry and she should have had to pay a price but to destroy your family over this is ridiculous.
Also, to abandon a sick wife like that show a real lack of character in him. Of course, where did the mental illness come from. That just seems to have come out of MB’s ass as there was nothing in the story to indicate she was mentally ill.
Just a waste of writing skill.
She didn't cheat. There was no affair, so his reaction was over the top. He breaks up his family over a story, a play.
That being said, Vera is better off without him. If this is how he heaves when confronted by a school assignment then how would he react when shit really goes down?
This was worse than the original.
Sorry, but you have taken a grate story with so much potential & turned it into a tail of self centered convenience.
And dramatic as hell, lol.
I agree with sbrooks103x
comments (criticism?).
Always love his "Thoughts", lol.
Vera's character might be
stretched to fit this ending,
but from edrider's story,
Karen the boss sounds more
like a victim to a prank,
than a bad person.
And I object to Gary's meeting
with Thomas the morning after
after that shocking day!
Sure, let him send a copy
of the letter to Thomas.
But give him a day to recuperate
and drink his marriage goodbye.
(Idea coming from Charlie Daniels
song "Drinking My Baby Goodbye", lol)
This story is well written sequel
and a fun read.
Top ratings from me.
Thanks MattblackUK!
....You took several small little points that bothered me in the original story and highlighted them.
Yes it was a bit over the top but it was interesting to see where you took it.
Thank you.
My disappointment is minimal as there wasn't passion or seduction. I am not normally one to read a story that drags on and on without sexual excitement. But i found that i read this story to its entirety. Very wonderful story. I am impressed. Lots of twists and very dramatic. Good Job
As with Agena's The Joke, there can definitely be an interesting story behind a wife trying to convince her husband that she is having sex with another man. How does the husband deal with his feelings when his rational mind knows nothing actually happened but the emotions he felt were real. However, such a story is beyond your ability so instead lets go with the standard tropes. Cocaine and roofies, gee, what did Reg and Penny have planned? And the wife is really a narcissist. Funny, she came across as someone who entirely unsure of herself in the original story. Pretty much the opposite of an narcissist.
I don't like sequels, but this one was pretty good. 5 stars
I could not finish this. It became mindless hate fantasy on the first page.
What is it with these weak, cardboard cutout male characters who have no inner strength unless it is expressed by hurting women? The play was very ill-advised, but then he goes completely off the rails. Unbelievable actions in a man with children to raise, but perfectly acceptable to the LW morons who exist only to savagely hate women at every opportunity.
Stories like these, these rote expressions of adolescent male rage really suck the pleasure out of what I had hoped to be some erotic reading. It may please the mouth-breathers who have given you high marks, but this is some really sad stuff in my opinion.
Rutty
Yes. "Mouth breathers" and their revenge fantasies intellectually cockblocking your desire to read the "eroticism" of decent men being hurt and betrayed by their own wives. Someone here certainly hates a gender.
...that you might have meant this as a joke, as satire. Perhaps you were "baiting the bears", so to speak, with some "raw meat" designed to bring out the mean little pit vipers who live only to spew venom at women.
If so, it worked. I was fooled as well. Otherwise, my previous comment stands.
Rutty
It certainly was not the story I expected after reading the original. Regretably, it would appear that Vera was not the only sicko. A good number of the anonymous commentators would fit right in there.
Just saying.
This was a MB tale?
Different and a bit disjointed. Not bad overall but it left a lot of things hanging.
Gave it 4* for potential instead of 3*
"Before we left the coffeehouse, he told me a little about himself, Penny and their kids. I joked that I felt safe, knowing he wasn't an actor. He asked me what I meant, and I told him about Kara's opinions of actors and her warning.
His eyes lit up, and he asked me, what if it wasn't a joke? What if he and I had an affair while we were working on our plays?
I asked him whether he had lost his mind, and he said something like that could easily happen, and it would make for great drama. I said I didn't think I could write that kind of play, but he said to try.
With a lot of pushing by Reg, I managed to do it."
It was Reg who gave Vera the idea, Reg who pushed her into completing it, Reg who provided the speakers, the motion detectors, etc.
So, tricking Gary was all there was in it for Reg? That's very unlikely. And, as Penny was waiting at the Denny's with Reg and Vera, so must have known about the plan to trick Gary, Penny must have been in on the whole plan. And unless there would be something in it for her, too, why would she bother to be there to meet with Gary at Denny's?
The clues as to what would happen were all in the letter from Vera.
A fitting and sound resolution to the original travesty that was the "strange car" saga. To fuck with a loved one's head is almost as bad as the real thing (to put it bluntly in pun).
Smokepole
...may be the story would have been more believable if the wife had been exposed to be an alien and Reg and Penny to be Mr & Mrs Santa Clause...
that turned the original story into something else. I think you got right a lot of things, like the cruelty and careless ways the wife showed towards her husband.
I can't say I enjoyed it because it was a dark tale with no real winners, but it was a well written story, that brought some justicie into the original tale.
No doubt about it this story was like mouthwash cleaning out the murky shit Ed's original left behind. I liked Ed's tale and gave it a five; I really liked this one.
I do have two problems.
If Reg was a rich stockbroker there's no way he's going to jail, maybe a fine, loss of his license, but no jail time. Had he been some poor black kid on the other hand he would have gotten the jail time. That's the way our American system of justice works.
Second, Vera would have gotten custody and the 70/30 split. I liked that you locked her up for a nut case, but in America she would have had to already killed the kids to get noticed, regardless of tests.
I'm glad Ed's still alive. I'm glad you wrote this sequel. Regrettably FTDS is deceased. Maybe you could fill his shoes, there are a lot of JPBs that need that elixir. (Just kidding. Don't tell JPB I said that.)
Thanks again.
Maturely handled and presenting a fairly plausible conclusion with only one minor caveat. She was nuts? That psychobabble was the necessary device to succintly explain her delf destructive behaviour when the the persuasive influence of a predatory couple and the suggestion of drug use was present, seems a mite too neat and easy an answer for the why of it. Investigation of her narcissism might have yielded a firmer explanation but I accept that such problems are part of the legacy inherited from the original tale.
But I stil enjoyed it. Thanks for writing. 4*
"There seems to be a little contradiction in Karen's attitude between Vera's description of her willingness to participate, and Karen's explanation to Thomas."
Karen quickly realised that she could use Vera's batty idea to her own ends. Of course she appeared reluctant to Vera as she didn't want to frighten Vera off my seeming to be too enthusiastic to the idea, to make it appear to Vera that Vera had managed to convince Karen to help her.
Maybe the wife was wrong , but this is piece of male chauvinistic pile of crap .
Totally stupid and implausible, typical BTB author who obviously hates women.
Original story was excellent and a sequel would be nice but a realistic one would be nice not this crap.sorry Matt but this is definitely a D- story.
You have to make a story believable if your going to be any good. You failed terribly, especially toward the end where her psycological death sentence was handed down. First you should do some study or your own evaluations and read up on outcomes of those. The setup ... unbelievable to prove such a simple question to answer, the reason for the setup ... unfathomable to anyone with a half brain, and the answer to the dilemma that wasn’t yet a dilemma because the wife never bedded the idiot. That’s the outcome you stated, your the story teller. You must hate women and especially women of power because you burned his boss for simply helping a wife, with some far out excuse why she wanted to use this situation to her advantage and you burned Vera by putting her FAITHFUL ass away for good without seeing her kids much writing::6 storyline::2 inventiveness::O I’ve heard the this many times before
Each page got worse. I finally skimmed the last page.
Can you imagine ANY couples' counselor saying that therapy wouldn't work, after just one meeting?
Then the story progresses from believable to total BTB. I could believe that his boss (Karen?) was in it to sink him, EXCEPT in her letter "You won't believe how hard she tried hard to talk me out of doing this." and the promotion wasn't to be announced for another month. You changed the story, not recommended for a sequel.
Then, the drugs?? Really.
Anyway, I wish that the story progressed as it started. The mental games they played would be interesting.
ttom
I don't have to imagine that, I already know it can be the case. Some counsellors do know during the first session that the relationship can't be saved and that further sessions would be pointless.
The original was a classic. I now wish I hadn't read this "sequel". None of the characters held up to their characterization in the better story. They turned into one-dimensional BTB caricatures. I've seen BTB done very well... This was not.
With all due respect, edrider73s original story was just like all of his others. The women are all basically assholes, the men are always getting shit on by the asshole women oft times for no good reason. The men are all weak, not allowed to stand up for themselves, and that's how they are left by the author. I don't know what his goal is in telling such stories. It's almost as if he secretly believes that all men should be abused regardless. Maybe it's just that I don't understand the genre, but it seems like a bunch of garbage to me. I thank you for finishing this story. It's not quite how I would have done it but then again I'm not an author.
Given the comments I left on the alternative sequel you did a great job.
I like your other stuff too!!
Actually a good exposition of how messed up a woman would have to be to try this scheme. 4*, instead of the 3 I originally gave.
Nice fantasy BTB story but would never happen like that. The woman was stupid but not nuts. Even if Norm committed her and jailed the other two all would be overturned on appeal. Wife would get the kids, the house, most of the assets, alimony and child support and hubby would end up footing her legal bill. If you are going to finish the story make it realistic not some male troglodyte’s fanatasy.
Thanks it was a little over the top but playing god with others emotional health for your own entertainment is not forgivable.
So much better than the original.
Evryone involved got what they deserved. Just wonderful.
You probably went a little overboard making Vera a crazy woman, but since most all of Edrider's female characters are bat-shit-crazy, I guess it wasn't much of a stretch. Thanks for finishing ONE of Ed's messes. Now how's about you finish the rest of Ed's messes? God I miss FTDS!
A great ending that wraps up the original nicely. The wife was clearly sick in the head to be that cruel, so a lifetime in the nuthouse was a fitting reward.
You may be right about the way the fucked uo courts act, but I liked this ending. It may not be what would happen on the real world, but it is what they deserve. GOOD STORY. And yes, somebody needs to finish the unending supply of unfinished ERIDER stories.