All Comments on 'Subversion Ch. 01: Becca Loves to Dance'

by Bundledandbound

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4 Comments

LenardSpencer about 1 year ago

Please, please, please make sure you get the name's correct! For Becca's boyfriend, you constantly bounced from Aiden... to Alex. Back to Aiden... then Alex. At least 10 times, back and forth. A simple read over what you had written would have revealed what you had done.

Anyway, a good start. Keep writing and things will flow more smoothly as you build up backgrounds of individual characters. Cheers.

Lovemaster123 about 1 year ago

So another porn where slut fuck everyone except her boyfriend? How generic.

jonbogey about 1 year ago

Get the named in order and you're onto something

Grogu269 about 1 year ago

This was a great story, can't wait to read more about the sex club.

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Bundledandbound@Bundledandbound

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Update Jan 2024: Thank you all for subscribing and commenting. I'm currently working on ch. 4 of "Subversion" which is in the editing phase. I think that will run 5 chapters and then move to a sequel with Becca at a later date. I am also working on "The Clearing." I have ch....

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