by lovecraft68
This was a nice, sweet story. Sam turned out to be a good surprise for everybody, I think.
Liked this one a lot LC. Much better than the depressing story you posted last contest.
Sam was a great character! A strong young woman who didn't care what anyone thought of her and after getting tired of waiting decided she was going to get what she wanted. Justin was a little needy and annoying, but for me it was perfect because it was a good portrayal of a young man his age. But in the end when Sam showed her softer side and some insecurity about putting her feelings out there Justin redeemed himself by finally "getting it" and being sweet to her.
Well done and you can be mad for the next part of this comment, but this reader loves when you treat us with something romantic.
I haven't read a lot of your stuff, but this one was quite good. I think a lot of us have probably been as clueless as Justin at one time or another. Of course, it doesn't always work out like it did here.
Great character development and a story we all wish we had experienced.
...that there is more from Sammi and Justin. What a sweet story, even if he so doesn't deserve her!
Although with a name like Lovecraft I confess I was expecting tentacles..../rimshot
I think every boy or man wants a Samantha in his life. Thanks
Always nice to see a sensible and sensual girl who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go for it or speak her mind. Justin will really have to work hard to keep up with her and have an equal relationship. But at least he has someone to keep his head straight and his soul sweet.
And it came as no surprise that Jen was right about Sam's interest. She took a bit of a chance saying it, but I bet that afterwards the nasty bitch found it fun to tease her clueless boyfriend. No wonder she didn't respect him, but at least his friends did their best to help and it all ended well.
I am trying to read all of the entries and vote to support the other contestants.
Wow, just wow. Excellent story, great characters and so frikkin hot. Almost had to stop halfway through to relieve myself.
It was pretty obvious where you were going but that didn't distract at all, it actually made me more eager for the payoff. And what a payoff. One of the hottest I have ever read here. 5 stars and added to my favorite stories.
I liked it very much a combination of fucking and feelings . .
yeah shame theres not more Sams around!!
Quite often it takes the right circumstances for friends to take the big first step. Sometimes the right one is standing in front of you. Better to take a chance than regret it
Even though one kind of knew where the story was heading, you told it well. Looking forward to more submissions from you.
I gave it 5 stars! And I have enjoyed some of your other stories also. I should have read all of them.
I felt all the emotions you out into words. I could see her and him with your descriptions. I really liked the story. GREAT JOB. Keep writting till your fingers bleed.
Damn, damn good job. Enjoyed it from start to finish. Liked the characters and could see something like this getting going between old friends. A lot times those oldest of friends are often more than that.
Would have liked to have met the girlfriend in more that a phone call. And I'm going to have to do a story check to see if you have done a single story without the sexy girl ending up in red. Beyond that I didn't see anything that could have been changed to make it read better.
Very, very nice work.
MST
Excellent story. Great characters, perfect pacing, and absolutely believable (and erotic). Thanks for the work you put into writing and sharing.
We'll written and a good plot. Looking forward to more of your work.
Excellent read. A well written and developed story about boy/girl next door who discover their friendship is so much more is always my favorite.
That was an excellent story. Easily one of my favorites. Very believable and very erotic. Great character development. Keep up the great work. This is the first time I have been motivated to leave a comment
Well written, believable characters and the pace of the story progressed well. Do keep writing. A part two would be an interesting read also.
Well written story of two friends who became lovers and more. Perhaps a followup is in order for this one? Thank you. :-)
A very long buildup to their first sex, but then the sex happened too fast. Her tits were bare and she was naked much too quickly. There was no tension or step-by-step unwrapping of her body. I, for one, would have preferred a nice, slow, long make-out session leading up to the actual sex.
And, re editing, there's a sentence that says: "Sam wasn't big on top, but they her breasts were perky," Either THEY or HER BREASTS needed to be deleted.
This story is one of the best I've read in a long time... That said, I think another chapter is in order :) This may have not been your intention but it would fit very well in my opinion. :) Otherwise, very very well written story, truly one of the best!
This story was great. I would love to see this story develop further. You are a really talented author.
Liked it a lot. I was hoping for comeuppance for the girlfriend at the end, though.
Thank you; it was great to see a young couple start together and realise their true feelings. It was also great to see a first time where the woman isn't just a doll letting the guy do whatever he wants; Sam... I mean Samantha clearly had her own desires and her dialogue was especially hot.
The only negative, from a stylistic perspective, is that Justin really doesn't have any evidence that Jen cheated on him; true his friend phoned but that basically boils down to hearsay. I'd have preferred it if he had something a little more tangible.
However that's the only issue I found with what is otherwise an amazing, brilliant story.
Thank you again.
I've read a few of your stories, but this was definitely my favorite. The great job you did at establishing their friendship really built the anticipation for the first time. I'd certainly welcome additional chapters, but this is a pretty good conclusion as well if you decide to keep it as a oneshot.
This is the first time I've actually read anything more than 4 pages because I'm just too impatient and I have to say that it is awesome! Two thumbs up and more please!
This was a good read. I will be looking for more of your stories.
This could have been done in three pages, maybe four.
Now, the writing was, for the most part, very good -- not perfect by any means, but competent -- but too much dialogue makes me think you're a Tarantino wannabe.
I'll tune in again, but please use the scissors on your next opus.
Loved the way you wrote this...the time you took to get there...building the story and feelings between them...just keep writing like this ...please!!!!! I loved it!!!!!
You've found your new genre! Great stuff, made me laugh too which is tell tale sign of a solid story. Keep it up!
Continue the story with these characters, there is more that can be told, and more escapades to explore. This was a really good read.
But based on the score and the author, I was actually a little disappointed by how predictable the story was.
I don't know how you could write about a better first time. Too many times people don't let out their feeling for a friend because they are afraid of losing a friendship. I loved the story and would like to read a few more chapters about Justin and Sammi.
Having read the positive comments, I can't possibly agree more. You captured every aspect beautifully!
In the past, I haven't been shy in telling a no-talent to "give it up," and asking Literotica to expand there voting scale to include "0." Your talent in capturing and presenting this story deserves a "5+" category. Congratulations!
As always, a really great story with lots of hot sex and sweet moments. I really loved seeing Sammi come out with her heart's desire, and kudos to Justin for not being a dick and actually realising the gift in his arms - love seeing the girl break out of the 'friend zone' because it's only ever been my experience to watch the guy go out with bitches and then having to pick up the pieces when it all falls apart , so I was rooting for Sammi on this one! I fail to see what the issue is in regard to it being 'too long' from previous reviewers, not like you didn't put in the standard disclaimer lol (clearly they haven't read your epic SWB lol). The stories you weave around the sex are the best part in my opinion, keep doing what you do.
It is nice to read about sex between two people who love each other and not merely have sex. A bit of Cinderella with sex. You want these two to stick together...
And we're all so fucking happy about that :P. You write some of the greatest stuff, even when it's in a debut category for you. I'll never get tired of 5 star'ing your material.
dont be afraid to add onto this story really enjoyed it and would like to see how they move forward . and especially on how they break the news t othe trashy ex girlfriend
Please pay no attention to the naysayers. Every time you write, with every story you submit, you lay yourself bare. With this one you have exhibited your sweet and tender side. Many thanks!
Great story, I loved the vivid descriptions of the action and the emotions made me identify so easily. You made me hard , laugh and the ending brought a tear to my eyes.
Please write more
I gave you five because that's as high as it goes. Sadly. Excellent, excellent story. Loved it.
Your pacing was spot on and your story built. teasing, yet satisfying. Quite believable, but too young for the dialogue. Or was I just that dorky when I was 18?1DB5
Pun intended, but sincere on all fronts.
This was a great sweet little tale. Your characters are very realistic, as was the natural flow of their dialog. Made for smooth reading, which I love. Sam was a strong likeable character, of course, but Justin was a pretty noble guy too. I think what held me captivated was the constant chemistry the two had, and watching it unfold was very cool. I could feel tension and electricity between those two, even if it was subtle, and It made me want to keep reading.
Earth Day theme was very evident in the opening stages, though not central to the overall plot. (Of course, it's fucking earth day, and I think you did great with it.) As for your "First Time" category theme, you knocked this one outta the park. Sensual, emotional, and erotic. It had that special first time feel to it.
The only way I felt any drag when I was reading was the quantity of dialog. It was handled so smoothly, but at times I did kinda feel like I was talked to death. It did kinda make the story seem longer than need be, and some stuff would been cool to figure out through their actions or scenarios or something. But maybe that's just me.
The "Sam's true feelings" element was a bit predictable from the start, but the story was good enough that I eventually didn't care and just had fun along the ride. And it was good fun indeed. The sex was hot and vivid, just dirty enough to make one blush, but tender enough to fit your theme.
All in all, this shit was great. Great first time, and cheers to many more.
SC
This story showed an immense amount of care, not only between the characters, but also in your writing. SecondCircle said everything perfectly, but additionally it is so realistic that it was easy to read along. Great work and good luck in the contest!!
You really should look to get published, not many books from a male point of view and this was satisfying for me and my girlfriend when we read and then ended up losing it to each other, thank you for making my first time as good as theirs, top read
I am wondering if it is a one off or are you going to continue it
lol, like it does every year but this year its more than sex ;) i liked that, i liked the characters although it always irritates me when douche nice guys dont see whats in front of their face. its the second story ive read from entrants this year and im impressed so far, so 4stars from me
You are one amazing author! Once I started this story I couldn't put it down, which is usually the case with your work!! This is the first time I've ever commented and I felt I had to since you just lost your virginity in the First Time category! (Pun totally intended) :) You SO nailed it! ;)
You write characters worth reading... and not just for the sex. We really do respect you in the morning. Another great story.
this is beautiful... Not just a sex story... this is beautifully crafted , for the first time reading a sex story has left me emotionally high not just otherwise
I really think that this fine story of yours needs a continuation.And on this story,it is damn good story though I would tell you this that somewhere along I was always wishing for samantha to be a virgin too(Oh well I am sucker for perfect romance).Lastly, a sincere thanks to you for writing such a nice story and I would like to continue reading some great works from you.Cheers!!!
I swear to god I thought this was humor.
"A lot better than a banana."
"One thought: Blow Job!"
That's some damn fine literature right there. Oh, and: "My mind raced."
I'm sure there's a furrowed brow in there somewhere. This is downright crap!
The sex scenes good god. Labored, tortuously overwritten. Obviously written to give the sense of "being there" for people who never have been or lack the imagination themselves. Never had a blow job? Read this!
Not to mention this has ZERO to do with Earth Day. In fact the whole opening signifies the author's total contempt for the theme. It's insulting to anyone with an IQ over 10.
This story seems to be written by and for someone who still thinks fart jokes are the funniest thing going. Which would be the same group of people who need a million word description if a blow job to feel like they're experiencing one. Omg just watch some porn.
What an absolute joke!
Ok, well how about this. I originally wrote my comment in disgust from the way you arrogantly treat the Earth Day theme, and from the single line "much better than a banana." Fart jokes are perfectly appropriate as a comeback. You do after all joke about poop in the opening, and the banana comment is utterly unrealistic and immature. Not to mention not erotic.
Sex scenes are sex scenes. I dont believe you had a master plan to craft an 18 year olds perspective. Thats how you always write sex and very few 18 year olds think like that. 12, maybe.
In fact, the major problem I have with this story is the characterizations.
Do you honestly expect the reader to accept that an 18 year old tomboy had miraculously developed a secret life as some sort of sex goddess! If you think Justin reflects a real 18 year male, and realism was your goal,you totally missed the boat with Sam. No "tomboys" are like that. No real girls that age are like that. What, has she been leading a secret life as a hooker? How did this girl suddenly learn to fuck like a pro? Knowing EVERYTHING and acting like a seasoned porn star? Absolutely ridiculous, and as a FEMALE it offended me..,
Your two main female characters are both offensive. You see an, exaggerated threat from sexual girls on the one hand, and a totally immature yearning for it in the other.
And then, when it comes right down to it, you have to present this hyper female sexuality in the form of a boy--a "tomboy" named Sam who wears a baseball hat. Like a guy. Who gives you a blow job like a porn star.
Basically the message is, sexual girls will screw you over, but you cant be GAY so whats the next best thing? A fantastic fuck from a girl who is like s guy.
I think he really wanted the bj from his best friend.
This is not well written erotica, its an expression of you the writers sexual issues.
Jmo!!
This sounds like the story of my wife and I, except neither of us were virgins, and we were a bit older. After 20 years of marriage, she is still my best friend first, and my lover second. To all of the critics out there, this does actually happen now and then. The banana comment is most definitely something she would say. Her dark and dirty sense of humor makes most of my friends blush.
I feel lucky to have a wife who looks fantastic both in a dress, as well as under the hood of the car helping with repairs.
We really enjoyed reading this story!
No offense, but I think you are taking this waaaayyyy to seriously. Do you have good points? Yes. We all know that most peoples first time, no matter who its with, will not go like this. Yes, it is impossible for a tomboy to suddenly pop out and be an experienced babe who makes losing your virginity awesome. Yes, 18 year olds don't think this way during sex (I was there myself).
But thats not the point! If this was supposed to be some stark dinky reality on how most guys have and will lose their v-card, it would suck! You want to know why it would suck? Because of its fucking realism! Stories like this are good because they let the reader leave reality and enter a world where the rules don't matter. This applies to movies (and I mean real ones, not porn), books, music, anything! This was made for our enjoyment, and as a way for this writer to express himself. If you didn't enjoy it because it wasn't realistic in its characters or sexual accuracy, then honey, find a different site! I've read so many stories here that have the exact problems you just outlined and they're great! Why? Because the reader's disbelief is suspended and they can go to a fun and erotic place! These are supposed to be fun! Yes throwing out reality and making shit up as you go is bad, but here its hidden enough behind good storytelling and writing that I could care fucking less!
In summary, its a story! A work of fiction! Let it be!
The following quote should be taken for what is worth - only the misinformed opinion of one person:
"Yes. We all know that most peoples first time, no matter who its with, will not go like this. Yes, it is impossible for a tomboy to suddenly pop out and be an experienced babe who makes losing your virginity awesome. Yes, 18 year olds don't think this way during sex (I was there myself)"
In fact, NO, "we" don't know what "people's" first time was like. And, NO, "we" don't know how 18 year olds think during their first time. I will speak for myself, thank you very much.
Thank you for presenting a possible path in your wonderful story. I could put real names to the characters from my own friends at that age.
Your development of the characters was realistic. In my case, I didn't have Sam's outgoing personality and had to wait until my best friend's marriage ended but I still got my best friend in high school as my permanent mate.
Keep up the good work. You have a fantastic talent and excellent writing skills. And, thank you so much for telling a story similar to my own.
Excellent work, you have a amazing gift of not only writing something worth reading, but making (especially this reader) feel as if it is about real people.
I just can't understand why I keep missing stories when they are first posted?
Thank you again
ES
I don't usually go for things like this, but you did such a good job, on the dialogue especially, that the story won me over as it went along. It showed me beautiful aspects that I didn't think it would possess, just like Sam showed Justin. You blended the masculine and feminine quality of the tale admirably, teetering along the edge, riding the emotional nerve. It was effective and charming.
People who love happy endings will eat this up. People who love star-crossed stereotypical romance will feast on it. People who appreciate good writing, however, will also enjoy it. And that is much more difficult thing to accomplish, especially considering the tone of the story. Too often, happy means a toothless, gummy little tale. But you showed you had the chops, as they say, regardless of the genre. Very nice.
This is just a second rate stroker. How you won a contest is a mystery to me.
of first time teenage love perfectly. Thank you.
Justin lay on his bed stroking his cock. His mind wandered to ... Jen ... but that hurt way too much. He kept stroking and kept thinking.
Sam . . . she was pretty hot, underneath those clothes. She did have great tits.
No, he shouldn't think about that!
But he couldn't help it. She CARED about him. He'd seen her eating a BANANA.
Sam...he started getting harder and harder...yeah, eating a banana...yeah!
He pictured her tight ass in sweats and football jersey and a baseball hat. Mmmmm....yeah, she was so sweet...
He found his mind drifting as it raced...thinking about her
He couldn't help it, he knew he shouldn't think this, but Oh God he was so hard! His cock was throbbing and throbbing!
He pictured Sam! He saw her walking . . . to a . . . phone booth. She entered it....and when she came out . . . SHA-ZA-YUM!!!
She was Jenna Jameson! Naked and wearing a football jersey! And eating a banana! With Sam's voice!!
His hardened even more and he stroked it even harder as he heard her speak:
"Hiiiii Justiiiiin. I've been thiiinking about you .... Oh, this tastes SO GOOD!"
Nice writing. Even though the ending may have been predictable, your writing made it believable. Real dialogue, real interaction and confusion between Sammi and Justin. Longer is not bad either - stories don't have to be just strokers all the time.
Samantha is a likable character, and her moves on Justin are many teenage boys’ fantasy. I can see her in my mind based on your description, and I liked what I saw. The sex was good. Keep it up.
I really loved your story, keep coming with more of this splendid quality, looking forward :-)
Excellent, beautiful story, and as a Rhode Island native, I totally appreciate the shout out to mackerel cove ;)
LC I always love your stories. This is one of the best. My only disappointment was that they didn't get engaged right then. Somehow I felt that was missing. Probably not quite right by the standards of others. But they gave me that warm feeling of this should be for a lifetime. Keep up the great work. Longer is gooder.
Awesome first time in first time....get it? Haha ;)
Loved it. 5 stars!
I started reading your story because I'm an environmentalist and love the Earth... As well as sex stories (almost equally). It's clear to see why you won first place. This is so much more that just a hot story: Your characters are real, honest, and compelling and you truly captured something incredible.
Not to mention it was one seriously hot story!
Amazing writing, keep it up!
make a sequel to this,i would love that. and try to keep the same feeling of love and care.
but please do make a chapter 2 to this.
Thank you very much for allowing us readers to read and enjoy this loving story. Best of what I have read on this site.
You won with this? seriously? fuck...You must be sucking the boss. Do you know how to write a frickin sentence? Yeah...you must be sucking cock or this story would have been kicked back a zillion times just because of the multitude of errors.
Corny too!
What are you a 102?
The friends ship was too long and then the fucking was repeated more then any boy would be capable of.
great story. very exciting and sexy. also very well written. simple and unpretentious in style. ending was good but a bit cheesy. all in all, really loved it!!
This is exactly what I love to read on literotica -- likeable characters, plausible situation, just the right amount of anticipation, followed by sizzling hot sex! And it was romantic, too (bonus!). Thanks so much for writing, lovecraft68!!!
I read the trollcraft comment and I didn't notice any errors, like at all and normally when I read they stand out like a corpulent man in a smurf costume. please don't let the comments of one retarded hater dictate how you write.
The negative comments are just shallow thoughts. This was not only clever and sensual, but beautiful and sooo sexy. God it had me going crazy, and it was written so well. Fuck the haters, for lack of a better term. Best first time story I've read.
Well I must say, got hard a few times! The emotion put into that was pretty awesome! Well done. Brings me back a lot of memories
I'm sorry I didn't see this story in time to vote for it, I can certainly see why it won. Beautifully crafted from first to last. Thank you. (There seems to be a problem with the scoring - it will only let me give you one star when I wanted to give you five.)
To say that this story was very good is an understatement. It was fantastic,it was, as Tony the tiger would say, "IT WAS GREAT". I enjoyed it very much and wanted to give five stars but for some reason it won't let me rate it, so I will say I give this story 6 stars. I hope to read more like it from you. Well done.
Wow, this officially marks the first time a story has turned me on AND made me cry. Beautiful. Your writing style is excellent - dialogue in particular. Keep up the great work!
This was excellent. This is the first, MAYBE the second, erotic story I've read online that felt like a story worth reading, rather than skimming to the naughty bits.
As someone with some editorial background, I have a hard time actually reading most of the stories on this sort of website, without feeling like the English language has been left crying in the corner, because, well, that's just not my thing.
This, on the other hand... this story had real characters, had dialogue with meaning. It didn't read like a porno, sex with some "plot" tacked onto the ends.
To close all this out, thank you for writing something great, something to make an evening trolling through dirty stories worthwhile.
I'm only sorry I didn't read this before the contest ended so my vote would have counted. Regardless, it was an absolute pleasure to read. Thank you so very much for your contributions to Literotica and freely giving of yourself to in this way. You are truly talented.
This would rate as one of the great stories in Literotica. I could see myself in the young man - but I never got so lucky. I eventually found my perfect woman after too much trial and error.
Keep up the good work!
That was a great story but in some small way I was hoping that Sam had been lying about her boyfriends and was a virgin too. Nonetheless, it was a heartwarming story so thank you very much.