by DreamCloud
Wow. I have read thousands of Lit stories over the years, but this is up there with the best.
This is one if the best, if not the best, bit of writing I've read on here in 10 years (maybe longer now that I think about it). I certainly hope you have more stories to offer! Thank you!!
I am surprised and very pleased by the comments. This is the first story I have ever written. It turned out quite different than I originally intended. I was really surprised by how much I enjoyed writing it.
I have always enjoyed erotica with strong subplots with twists and turns. Without them, it just becomes porn which I find boring.
I started work on a new story that is much more intricate. Hopefully, not too complex. I am really enjoying the new main plot.
I couldn't agree more. This was a very well thought out and well written story. DreamCloud, you have a good grasp of the skills of writing. Marriedpervs, you write some excellent stories as well. You both have, shall we say, elevated my appreciation of Literotica.
This story is awesome. For it to be your first you hit it out of the park. Please continue writing, I will read it all.
I like stories with a good set of characters and interesting plot combined with some great sex. You delivered very well. Keep writing.
You did a fantastic job! Keep up the great work! The sex was right on, and I actually believe and like these characters. I read your other submission and loved it.
I really enjoyed this story; you certainly have some talent! Again, the editing could be improved, but the story and frankly, enjoyable characters really made for a great read.
Thanks!
Excellent development of theme. A tryst with a real twist. The name changes were an excellent motif ... I especially liked the male protagonist trying to keep up with the women's thinkings (and failing). That made it all the more enjoyable.
Keep up the excellent work !
You have a real talent for developing characters that the reader can connect with. There is a sense of humor to your writing that makes your stories fun and refreshing. And I really appreciate the way you give new twists to tired old story lines. The plot where the woman doesn't have enough money to pay the rent is as worn out as the old "pizza delivery boy" scenario -- and yet you managed to make it fresh and unpredictable.
Kudos!
Man, you have put together some really entertaining stories. Thanks for sharing.
Obviously too bad Synapse didn't read the whole thing. Quite arousing and amusing.
I mean bitches and bastard. If he really loved Mary, he would have been repulsed by Julie's offer. Adultery is an act of hate. If the only reason you don't do it is that you might get caught, then you don't really love your spouse. Though I guess there is also the "so fucking stupid I didn't know it" excuse.
I only read this because your later work is very good. I'm glad you've improved.
But this one has some plot too. Well done.
Mr DreamCloud you have a rare talent for writing a story that ticks all the boxes at once. I see it has attracted the attention of another 'Grouse'. Ignore him. After all, when you read the stories HE has written on here, you can see how talented a writer he is!
Keep doing what you are doing DC, Most of us absolutely LOVE IT.
Great plot, great writing, terrific humor! What's not to like? Adding this one to my favorites now.
What a great story! Different than what is all too often found on Lit. Please keep them coming. I really enjoy your writing style! Thanks, DreamCloud!
MastersWench
I'm left speechless. Was never one for that kind of sex scene but... It was simply amazing. Great job!
For some reason, I can't stop laughing while reading this story. It was a fun read. I'll probably read this plenty of times.
A real rollicking roller-coaster of salaciously erotic fun. and believably funny characters.
Only you could write a story about a man that cheated on his wife, got caught and not only did the three parties involved not suffer but became sexually enlightened and the experience probably enriched all their lives for the foreseeable future. Again, I usually don't care for "group sex" stories but I could never have imagined this story. Well done, a pleasant and humorous surprise. Keep up the good work!
Okay, I really don't like the dom/sub scene, even roleplaying, but I've read enough of your stuff not to give up on it. All the same, I did NOT see that switch coming. Delightful!
What a ride....thank you thank you thank you for the constant chuckles!!!
much different from the romance writing but entertaining nonetheless!
Clearly, he knows he loves her to death - and neatly proved it - and now, if there was, there's no doubt in her mind about it either...
Though I am a bit surprised that he would even remotely risk what they have for ANYTHING involving another person, no matter HOW hot they are...
Glad the way it worked out though...
I just don't see Chuck risking his marriage for a day of sex. Sure, this is fantasy and it's nice to see the nice guy getting a day (or more!) of pleasure, but that part was a stretch. Great writing though! You're a truly talented author and I hope you keep posting.
Sorry this story sucked. Soon as he cheated, this story dropped to a 1/5. I wasnt even going to read it in the first place because of the group sex flag, I much prefer romance between 2 people. Regardless of whether or not his wife joined in later, he still cheated on her and I dont think the character build up supported that action by him so it felt forced, unrealistic, and made me lose ALL respect for all persons involved. Next time please include a flag for cheating so I can avoid stories that have scummy lowlives in them. I lose respect for the author by even reading this crap.
The emotion was fantastic and I absolutely love the sexiness you brought. Great characters and a hot, HOT story! Thanks soooo much for sharing! A big favorite! <3
Really enjoyed most all of your stories (most more than once) -- please keep them coming A
People, where's your sense of humor? This is a farce.
And to all the people with the negative comments: what's your problem?
Consenting adults, no people were harmed. The story ended on an upbeat note....
In case you're all hung up on reading about faithful monogamous heterosexual couples exclusively, perhaps you shouldn't read stories in this category. Just saying.
How to play with our feelings.
DreamCloud I think I Crack a few ribs from laughing!
When you brought Mary/Ethel in play...
That was brilliant writhing.
I've not read all your stories yet, but I intend to.
The one I read so far are just as good.
I'm in vacation now and your stories are keeping me glued to Literotica.
You are so very good at that. I have seen why you stop and I agree that it sucks!!
The world is full of creeps. Like in some of your stories.
Like so many others that make comments here, I dearly hope you will reconsider.
I know it sound selfish. Just can't imagine how I'll feel when read the last one...
Well...If not, at least let me say thank you for letting us read what you wrote.
Two that I really like so far are the Link 1,2,and 3. And Rehab.
Now for the Crack ribs, I have to include this one... LOL
Like I said, still going through the list.
These are all amazing!
I wish the best for You!
not used to such professionalism, i was relaxed through out the read, fun story and very erotic, well written and well paced,
The wife's reaction to the infidelity is unlikely in the extreme.
The only way it would track, is if she was already cheating on him and then that means their marriage is just fiction.
Great story! My wife and I really enjoyed it. Loved the plot twist. I laughed out loud when I read it.
Only saw one error. You mixed up Julie and Mary's names at one point. Mary was orgasming, not Julie at that point.
Wonderful!
You are truly an amazing author. Thank you for sharing.
You have a special gift of creating and sharing love as well as eroticism. It is special.
I wish I could give this a 10…… one of the best stores on here, so far fetched but good old fashioned sex with a smile. Well written with good characters and descriptions. Great.
Would love to see a part 2 of Saturday and maybe a part 3 with Julie's past about the story she told about making money amd the part 4 woth Mary's story with Bobby too.
Dam this story need more parts to it. Was a good story and shows we don't always know what we or are partner might want or do if we let loose.
Well done. The story was a lot of fun and everyone ended up happy. I loved it. Thanks for sharing.
I agree with "anon" that it got a little out of hand in the middle. 4*
Haha, that was a good twist and story line. I don't normally like the sex for rent stuff, but that was good
The idea of using sex to pay rent is an old one and it can be a good story. However I think this story didn't make a lot of sense. It is explained that Julie has no money and is desperate. Then it is disclosed that Julie has the body and face of a goddess and had made a fortune as a call girl before she married. If she was willing to trade sex for her rental checks then she would have been very willing to return to her escort profession to make the money and never fall behind on her rent.
Chuck was a total idiot. He's been married to his wife Mary for a long time but has no idea that she was a slut before he married her. Chuck's tenant seems to be a world-class call girl but he doesn't know it. Meanwhile he has turned into super stud able to satisfy both of them. The story might be a good wank story but it makes no sense.
I had read your story some time ago and just now discovered it again. I love it the first time and love it still. I loved the characters and the hidden depths of their sexuality. Thanks for sharing.
This was a really different story. It had me confused after Mary entered the apartment, but everything worked out in the end with hope of fun to come in the future. A solid 5+.
Bill S.
I have given a 5* to most DreamCloud stories, and they very truly great stories. This story, unfortunately, is not in the same category.
I really liked this story. It's a fantasy romp and should be read as such. It's not trying to be real life and all 3 were willing participants in the fantasy. Both humorous and hot in places. Believable not really but if viewed as horny escapism in the style of a porn film it really works and is well written too. BardnotBard