All Comments on 'The Brass Ring Ch. 08-09'

Well written and very realistic story. Thanks.

I agree with Big very nice story and very realistic. Thank you for sharing. Mechmanas

Just a good old fashioned story about people and how life goes around. Nicely written.

This entire series has been a very, very, entertaining tale. Even when Duke made choices which seemed "questionable", the storyline carried through to the conclusion. Sometimes, that conclusion seemed to be undetermined, or arguable, as to what it "should" be; but in the end, all the loose ends were wrapped (and mostly to the desireable result). This has been an excellent writing.

Marilee says, "So... when Harley came along, he opened me up to being a bad girl." She only kissed him a few times and didn't have sex with him. She saw him a total of 4 times but this wasn't what his friend T-man indicated. This kind of inconsistency in sprinkled through out all the chapters. The story deserves better than this. It seems that exagerations are placed to add drama and impact. To get your writing to the next level, trust your story and stop jacking the reader around with this kind of stuff.

Another fine submission. I have loved you work previously, and this one is no different. Keep up the great work, and I hope to see more from you soon.

Flowed along nicely, but predictable.

Inconsistenscy between T-man comments and what she says??? There is no inconsistency at all. All T-man said was that he saw them together and they were tight. Many commentors have said that Shoe often can't get his head out of his ass when he comments on stories. This must be one of those times.

Still, I have no idea what drives this guy. "How am I supposed to forget someone as sexy and good-looking as her? Not easy!" You have him pasted as Mr. honest and sincere but there is no indication as to why he eventually loves her, other than that she is beautiful. Try to develop the emotional depth of your main character a bit more.

My tendency would be to suggest that our hero is too romantic! Still though it was a lot of fun.

Thanks for writing about a guy who understands himself and works to resolve his suspicions. Merilee was consistent; a good girl made a bad choice when she lied, but she did not make a stupid choice and become more involved with Harley.

Refreshing.

wow cuckold in the making, what is up with authors who only know how to write about wimps and cowards. Just because a guy doesn't get back together with a cheater doesn't make him a bad guy it makes him human. Why do authors like you always make excuses for behavior and actions, it doesn't matter what she did, it was how she did it, she lied to him and and reasoned with herself that it was ok even though she felt bad. That's not a problem or an issue with a person, that's being a human doing what you want, it's called freedom. She choose to cheat on him not the other way around and when he confronted her she lies then just breaks up with him. Then he takes her back after all he's been through. you're a decent writer but your worldly view is so ignorant of human nature that it makes me feel sad for people who read and agree with you. Because in real life no guys gonna stay with a cheater when in such a short period of time his views on women have been butchered. . You put a guy that has been burned by this same girl after being burned by his first love in a situation where he needs to trust her to not do it again and he has no qualms? Seriously? All he does is hire a PI, that's it after all he's been through wow. Talk about killing a great protaganist.

Like a favorite pair of slippers. Finished this story in one sitting.

I'm a sucker for "feel good" stories and this is a great one. Five Stars!

I said at the end of Ch 3 that it would be a shame to take two people who seemed so perfect together and split them up.

I realized that there would need to be some conflict/drama for the sake of the story, but I'm glad they ended up together!

How in the Hell do you get cuckold out of this?

She DIDN'T "cheat"!

Yes, she lied when she said she wasn't seeing anyone else, but she and Dieter weren't exclusive, so her seeing Harley wasn't cheating.

Seems your thoughts and writing in the first decade of this century were not as complicated and full of twists as the second decade writings. Truly a very good read.

Great story, I agree with KarenE, she didn't cheat and at the time they were not excusive and she was honest about it when he asked her to explain. Well done 5 stars