by DreamCloud
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story. Easily worth 5 stars. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Every time, every story, always wonderful. I think I'm sorry you managed to keep the length down. Thanks.
This was perfect. Two nice twists towards the end. And I'm kicking myself for not catching the first one. However, in my defense, you already had me pulled into the story and I was busy letting it take me along. For me, the sign of a great story is how fast it pulls me in. This had me shortly after it began. Very well done.
Couldn't expect any less from my favorite author!
Some really clever writing makes even the uncomfortable bits seem necessary. Unique POV, accomplished very well. Decent character development, without telling the whole story before its proper time. Just really good talent exploding from the screen. Thank you so much!
Only one note: I would have liked a "bargaining" scene, a ceremonial personal exchange with herself, and Tom's memory, when she finally removed the wedding ring. You brought it to our attention that she had never taken it off, but never told us exactly when she did. It just might have been a deeply emotional moment that provided alot of insight into her original marriage, as well as her hopes, dreams, and fears for the future.
But with or without that, this story seemed to accomplish all of your goals that you set out for it.
Bravo! 5 Stars, as always!
Come on now
Briliant writing AND groaningly wonderful puns ?
Sure made my day brighter
Thank you
What can I say? One word.......excellent. A syrupy romantic story on Saturday morning! Keep writing and thanks for sharing.
Ed
" I wasn't going to tell her everything, so I skillfully skirted the issue. "
This caught my editors eye immediately. Nice to read another of your stories. Congratulations!
I was loving every minute of reading this until it seemed to derail with the plot twist. You managed to save it in the end.
But it is extremely well done. Romantic, but with enough of a bite (and humor) to make it non-saccharine. I see your name attached to a story, and I know it's going to be good and very satisfying.
Thank you for this wonderful story.
Five stars not enough!
Only nit to pick: please change "dearth of unpaid bills" to
abundance, surfeit or even better plethora.
Thanks again
is a wonderful story
it would have been funny if Linda would have ended up
pregnant at the end
Great characters, too.
If I may suggest one edit, though, please replace the word "dearth" in the sentence, "That's when he ran across the dearth of unpaid bills."
And thank you for writing.
I think it a wonderful reflection on your "story telling" that so many of your readers feel guilty if they DO NOT write a comment! 17 comments in two days. Wow.
Very well written and interesting romance. Appreciate DC writing again. Well done!
All meant to make us feel good.
But I am still wondering how it went from being unable to form a complete sentence, maintain eye contact, and have a conversation, to holding hands, lovely legs, and we need to slow this down again soon in 24 hours.
Your writing style is very nice. I loved the twists and turns. Keep it up.
the plot twists were the best part. great ending. Thanks for sharing.....
DreamCloud turns out another fine story full of humorous moments and well woven.
A strange thought was that this is the equivalent of a RAAC story in the LW category...
Thank you again DC! A wonderful read with plot twists and really cool characters. Five Stars for sure...
You have a wonderful understanding of Human Nature and so your writing reflects that.....
Please PLEASE don't stop sharing your GIFT!!!!
I spent much of it with a goofy grin on my face. I especially liked the 'Can we slow down again soon' line. I also laughed at her skirting the issue with her dress, though I don't know if that pun was intended.
So far you are the only author I have found that actually manages to tell an immersive, complete, and delightful story while still keeping it that short... not that I don't really like your longer stories too!
I know how much talent it takes to write this well. You even made 1st person narrative work. Great job and looking forward to more.
I don't know how DreamCloud keeps doing it again and again. Romance isn't even my preferred genre but I don't miss any romantic story by DreamCloud. Easily one of my favorite authors on this website.
Just a suggestion, there too many stories about a lady in distress who is saved by a knight. I hope to see a different style next time.
DC, I have to agree with all the well-deserved compliments you have received from your readers.
I am working my way through your stories. I marvel at how you can write the Hacker and then the Marriage. Your mind goes all over the place....Very well done..do not stop.
Another magnificent tale with an intriguing plot and wonderful characters. Your skill as a wordsmith continues to blow me away. Excellent craftsmanship!! 5*
You have a gift and I'm so thankful you are willing to share it.
I posted The Festival on Sunday 5/31. It should be live by Tuesday, if all goes well on the Lit end. I am working on a lot of other stories. I really want to finish The Cotillion, but it just isn't right. It needs a better motivation at the start - without it, it will be as cheesy as the tale it is based on. I started The Runner and am about 10k in. It is very different than my other stories. Not sure if anyone here will like it, but that won't stop me from posting it. Crazy premise.
I read every one of the comments I receive. Every time I lose confidence in my writing, someone posts something that helps me find it again. You have my never ending appreciation.
You have a gift of storytelling and a deft hand with conflict. Well done, in all your stories.
I love your writing. You have a style that allows the reader to become completely immersed in your stories. As I look at your collective works your scores tell me that I'm not the only one that feels this way. "Thank you for the entertainment" seems inadequate. Maybe, thank you for the experience would be more accurate. You are a truly gifted writer.
There are some stories which once you start, you have to see the end of it. This is one of such stories and, I am yet to read your other stories. I am a reader from India and our perspective differs from yours. The reason I say this is because of undue unfavorable comments Indian writers tend to get from the readers at large. While admitting many drawbacks in their efforts, the change of perspective could also be a reason. High quality stories generally overcome this weakness and yours is one of them.
This was the second time I read The Hacker, and have read and re-read several others. You are a great writer and can put words into action, realism to into fiction. Especially in this story. Keep up the good (great) work!!
so, rather than hem around, I will just say it,
"I skillfully skirted the issue."
together with the final paragraph,
made for a fitting ending
I completely love how your stories twist and turn. Keeps one on there toes!
Just love the way you weave these webs of pleasing prose...the way you twist and turn the entertainment...have enjoyed every one of your stories!!!!!!!!
I do like to read the Cheating Wife gets her punishment stories, most likely because I had a cheating wife myself and identify with the husband. However, The Hacker is not a cheating wife story but a wonderful "feel good," happy ending, well written read.
Keep it up DreamCloud. I'm looking forward to your next submission.
in this well-developed plot. It didn't turn out as I expected--in fact, it turned out far better. DreamCloud, you have wonderful writing skills--I wish mine were just half as good.
Great story!
You are one gifted writer. You write some of the best romance stories on this site. The twists and turns in this one had me going. This story had me rooting for the lady and her daughter from the get-go. If I want to read a romance story I now know where to go...DreamCloud. Thank you for your writing and your stories.
Because if you do, all of that work will get pushed to the side as you enjoy every twist and turn until you come to the very nice ending.
I'm making my way through your stories. This one was incredible. Thank you for your work!
"OK, so you can build a decent plot and I'm interested in your characters and when I read plot twists, while they ARE twists, they don't feel like they're coming from so far out of left field that they're from a whole other stadium (which can make me a hate a writer with a passion) and you've written sex scenes that are more appealing and more of a turn-on than some other writer's graphic sex scenes..."
And, "Oh yeah, do I really even need to mention the romance and how sometimes you break our hearts in a way that makes us willing to not only read more of your stories knowing we're risking more of the same but even willing to reread the SAME story knowing that '... this way heartache lies'...?"
So, what's my point...? Oh, I got no point... Just thought I'd mention all of that...
'cuz, you know, "I love your stories..."
All right, now don't get me wrong... I'm a guy... I don't go in for sappy romance...
So... Why can't I let single one of your stories pass?? I've read the all, some of them twice...
I'm not a romance type of guy! What the hell are you doing to me!!!
You really jerked me around with this one.
I'm a 69 year old man. I've been reading fiction since I was 5 or 6. Why can't I stop reading your stories? Huh? Why?
You should bind them, sell them and be rich!
I'm a freak of nature: I'm female and I hate to shop, chic flicks, and romance stories. But I loved this one.
...I blubbered like a baby at the end of all three of them!
Love romance stories!
Now I'm going to go be with my real life romantic hubby!
I can tell ya, sex will be great tonight (big grin)!
Thanks! Cheers!
I'll be back to read more next Sunday : )
Didn't see that donor saga coming at all. I thought the guy was faking being a billionaire and hacked for a living
Interesting plot, unsuspected ending, great characters, nice length for the plot, what can I not like.
Great work.
Stunning story, absolutely different than others from this author.
I can`t wait to read the next chapter.
5* for you!
I have read several of your stories and I am baffled. How is it possible for you to write such consistently great stories? Please don't stop!
Keep on keeping on...
kansasjack01@gmail.com
Truly, how do you do it ???. Constantly delivering ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ stories one after another after another, truly amazing..Romance category, for me, you hold that title there's NO one better..
Please excuse the use of the same old superlative in describing this totally unique and absorbing little story as have applied it to all your stories so far read. Can only repeat again the hope that you enjoy your writing as much as your readers enjoy your works -- and plea for you to keep them flowing to us.
It's hard to add anything to all the other comments on this story. 5* hardly says it. I guess I'll just leave it at that and get back to your list to find another. I find it difficult when I can't live up to my handle, but I'll suffer with that.
I absolutely loved this story. Please keep writing, I love your stories!!!
Once again you have produced a wonderful tale. Now to go back through your submissions to find another gem!
Your stories are great and made me curious. Your profile brings up questions. How much time have you spent talking to women to so accurately convey their feelings and thoughts?
So often the only textures in stories on this site are purely physical: smooth,silky, firm, moist; and the only depth is that of penetration. Yours feature textures of personality and setting and depth of plot and character. As a fan of Jeff Deaver I can appreciate how the occasional sharp left turn or zigzag can suddenly make the story make sense. As I have commented before, good fiction is good fiction, regardless of genre. Keep 'em comin' (double entendre fully intentional)!
loved how it unfolded and the interaction between the three of them....loved it...a tale of romance...protedting his own and true love....just magical
"Swoon" means faint, and she wasn't lying on the floor unconscious.
The colloquial usage of "swoon" has expanded to include the feeling of disorientation caused by acute infatuation. The usage is metaphorical rather than literal. I don't know if it's in Webster (too lazy to check), but it is in common use in my experience. <3
From Merriam-Webster (online)
Definition of swoon
intransitive verb
1 a : faint
b : to become enraptured, swooning with joy
2 : droop, fade
noun
swooner
adverb
swooningly
but... If you don't mind me saying so, there's a glaring error on the first page.
"Right of passage" should of course be "rite of passage"
In case you write more stories, "baited breath" should be "bated breath", from breath abated.
In the English House of Commons the members don't shout "here, here!", but "hear, hear!" as in "listen up, yo!".
Thank you very much for your stories. I am enjoying them immensely.
You come up with the most amazing - and loving - plots.
Please keep writing for us.
How is it that you can talk to my heart,and pull the strings,I've let no else even come close to,.. much more i'd like to say but it's time for bed , so says the wife. Thank you again R.W.
It wasn't a tear jerker like " Rehab " or " The Promise " but was an excellent read all the way through .
Please keep writing them. My concentration span is not that long any more. Besides which your longer ones are also fantastic. I have learned to ignore the to,
two, too, mistakes that everyone makes, since they don't really teach English in the schools like they did when I went (I'm 85). But I enjoy your ( not you're or yore) stories tremendously. Thank you again. / Just J.
Somebody was looking for this story and someone else posted the link to it. So glad they did! Really good story!
A seriously talented author, I'd love to know what other names you use and if your work is published.
Very annoying that some thief ensured that you have stopped posting here!
even though legality may differ/ TK U MLJ LV NV
I love your stories, please write more, I finished this one, and actually wasn't late for work. Bless you!
I would desire to bring all my training TO THAT SORRY BASTARDS FACE, RAPIDLY AND WITH MALACE !! At least I hope you continue with your great stories, if not here, somewhere. You have a great skill for capturing the readers.
Thank you.
I have been reading sing mid 60s, this writer has some of the best writing skills around. Amazon has self publishing on ebooks, you should go for it.
You have me hooked. You should get a publisher !
I guess I’ll just have to read the story.
All of your stories are so well written.....they hook me in and I am always amazed.
still good and more tears, never, never jump to conclusions! very good writing
Those couple of twists at the end were genius. Superb writing. 5 stars.