All Comments on 'The Monster Within Ch. 04'

Wow!

Very dramatic, eloquent, sentimental, lovely, really, I have no words to describe what this chapter made me feel.

I only have one doubt, the action takes place in Switzerland, supposedly in a canton of German influence, however, all the names of the characters look British or American. I have visited all the cantons, and these names do not sound familiar to me there.

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

I'm glad you like it! And I thank you for your feedback, it gives me loads of additional motivation to continue on the other stories I'm working on.

Regarding the names: I thought that Swiss/German names might distract from the story and disrupt the reading, also because of the umlauts (ä, ö, ü). Therefor I anglicised them slightly. I used names I know from work, friends and such and adapted them: e.g. Führmann became Ferguson.

First names was easier. All names I used are common in Switzerland, even in the English version. Of course the persons behind the real names have nothing in common with the people in the story, they are just eponymists.

You really nailed this chapter. The emotion is there, Stan finally begins to heal. It clearly took a lot to even consider telling Patrick that he might share his darkness someday. I sense that Bev has a somewhat dark secret, she hasn't tipped her hand yet. Looking forward to your next (final?) installment.

I'm enjoying this series very much. Thank you for writing and sharing it! Your English is excellent and is easy to read.

I hesitate to add a petty criticism. Thrice you've used the word "quite," when I think you mean "quiet." It's a minor point, and doesn't detract from my enjoyment of your work.

Another great chapter. Can't believe there's only one more to go! Really looking forward to it.

I've read all the chapters so far and enjoyed it greatly. Don't worry about English; you are better than many English speakers. I find your narritive a bit too stark at places; too kind, too nice, too understanding, too introspective, but it remain enjoyable all the time! Please keep honing your skills and keep writing.

I love the way you seem to get inside the heads of both Bev and Stan in such a way that their thoughts are so lifelike.

5 stars