by LittleRed12
How old are these chatacters? I know they are out of high school but why were they still playing childhood pranks. And the fake love letter was stupid. They all are idiots, including Jill for cheating if she didn't break up with her boyfriend.
and April Fool's Day is 'their' day. However, this really was the perfect prank.
Good luck in the contest.
So wait her boyfriend proposes to her , and then she just runs away and sleeps with some other dude ......why are we supposed to like her ?
Never too old for a good prank
I very much enjoyed the story. It was short and sweet.
For the record, you are NEVER too old to prank your BFF or siblings. Especially not on April fools.
Your use of dialog is spot on. Very good work with that part. Your narrative could use a little work but it's at least 80% better than a lot of stories here already. Keep up the good work.
Critique: In the early part of the story the narrative got a little confusing. You were trying to bring across a lot of information. Information that is story critical (in some cases) but could have been delivered after you got the main characters talking. Get us to know how they speak to each other, (flirty, sassy, normal, intellectual, ect.) then begin to let us know a little more about their past. About them.
Deliver that back story in slow bites as well. Spoon feed it out, let the reader get hungry for that next bite. Make them be wanting to taste it and lick the spoon for more. Use that dialog, you're so good with, to make them wait between bites without complaining.
A very good story. Enjoyable.
MST
Loved your story but not sure it fits the category if read alone 5 but for contest 3.5
This is well written with a nice story flow. I enjoyed it a lot.
I didn't like it much. Sissy was a slut, then it was just another sex story...Romance? NOT EVEN CLOSE...
That was too adorable.
But it's not so bad for Justin, now Zach isn't just his best friend, but soon to be his brother-n-law. How is that not a win-win?
The best pranks are always as close as possible to reality, this is a great story!
5 stars
Dont mind the critics. This was a sweet story with well written flashbacks and everything flowed nicely. I left with a smile and warmth in my heart. Plus the pranks were entertaining and creative. Good story