All Comments on 'The Thin White Wall'

I loved this story very good! I liked that the protagonist didn’t realize what he was doing but it’s still amazing great work!

Seriously.

I have a kind of love/hate relationship with Mind Control genre stories because they have a tendency to throw the feelings of the controlled party out the window. I just have a hard time enjoying a story without a "true love" ending. You have managed to somehow craft a story where, regardless of the love originally imposed by the mind control, I can believe that Addison developed a truly soul-altering love for Wyatt after seeing how deeply he loves her through the kindnesses and respect he shows her on a daily basis.

Then you took it one step further, throwing in a micro-harem and crafting such a believable, regardless of how outrageously unbelievable it actually is, story to back it up and make it work. I mean, seriously... how did you do that?

I don't think I have ever read a story that was so fantastically creative on Lit, before. I mean, there are stories that show off a level of creativity that is almost unrivalled here on this site because of their plot or their characters, but this story takes mundane characters and a normal suburban existence and twists love and all the reasons it should fail up into this beautiful package that works, delivering the prize every hopeless romantic dreams of when they start reading a love story. I am just so satisfied by this story, from beginning to end. I loved Addison and Leilani for being the damsels in distress that deserved to be saved, and I loved Wyatt for being the every-man who just wants to do the right thing... for being so relatable.

Thanks for making my day. :)

Your balancing of mind control and pure ‘innocent’ love is so good - bravo! I’m excited to see what might happen with them next.

I'd like a chapter of them in their new apartment and loving going on there.

Liked the way things went even I could tell Leilani loved the idiot. Now that everything is in the open it should be easier.

Very nice introduction story. I agree with the anon who said that Mrs White was the MVP character. She really brought in an element that is both funny and explains how Wyatt’s dad knows some of the things that he is doing. It would be interesting to see what happens next. The usual things that happen in moving. Getting Leilani’s parents on board with the new relationship and now engagement. Addison has a stable career but Leilani is about to start college and Wyatt has a automotive school that he is supposed to do. There’s bound to be new life experiences drawing attention from the triad they’ve become. Not to mention that the new house may have snooping neighbors and cause them some strife. Those are some things to play around with while you have them deal with whatever existential crisis you have in mind for them. Overall, I liked it and would recommend continuing it.

Thanks

Poor guy letting sex get in the way of a good car hmmmm I suppose he could train them to work on it lol

this story was PERFECTLY done. good length, great characters, well developed plot. if i could i would give 6* . by far one of the best i've read in years. just don't ruin it with a forced sequel!

Loved and enjoyed the story. was well written. Would love to see more of their life together.

I truly loved the story. The arc was perfect, the characters felt real, the sex was amazing, and the ending (always a challenge) was natural instead of forced. Truly, truly excellent.

Very enjoyable story came back as after searching for one of your series and couldn't remember who wrote it. Only found it because of your newest one. Thanks for the great reads

Great story! Always love your wholesome ending. It was such a plus to see that you weaved this story into the same world as your other including my fav character Mrs. White. I was thrilled by the twist that his dad knew about everything and wholly supposed it because these characters are good people who use their powers responsibly

No, the answer lied with my science project.

PERHAPS BETTER:

No, the answer LAY with my science project.

I'm terrible at expressing my thoughts...(heck, I've already restarted this 5 times now...lol) Others have stated what I feel about this story better then I ever will.

It's a great read. The 3 main people in the story...I really started to care for them. The sex was good, but the story is what made me read it to the end & now I want more. I wounder what their life will be like. All the twist & turns and you wove it into one heck of a story.

Thank you for sharing this story with me (& everyone else too...lol).

I hope you have a great day & be safe.

Good story

A little slow but a great ending.

actual wholesome mind control and with a story behind it. Kind of rare these days.

Great story great writing. Still not my style of erotica, I do like my stories a little shorter because when and where I usually read these stories. Im also not a fan of multiple sex partners or groups, and sex one time in a story is good for me. Like the 1st time two people hook up, or if its more than once it still needs a element of passion. Multiple sex acts in a story lose the passion. This story was a great story and you habe talent as a writer. I would read a mob erotica story from you

thumbs up!

Note that you, like myself didn't pay attention in English class

and fuck up verb tenses.

My advice is to sneak out and seduce an English major.

One of the best stories I’ve read. I couldn’t put it down. Hot sex, realistic plot, with a little mind control and harem building.

Cute fantasy. Well built. What I like the most is that it didn't break anyone's will. There is a world of difference between slight push, and total domination. I like your slight push.

Some stories are just so well written. Beautiful!!!

A braindead boy and two braindead cocksleeve zombies. How romantic.

Now this is wish fulfilment if I've ever seen one lol. Dont get me wrong though, compelling and well written

So... book one is complete. It's time for book two.