by Goldeniangel
Some Halloween 2012 story entries i like, some i love, some i respect.
Yours, i adore. You have superb, living characters here. Excellent personalities and development, enticing writing and mouth-watering sex scenes.
Splendid work, Angel :).
--Jasmine
Work like this should be illegal
Angel it is perfect I loved every minute if it and as I'm so hot right now and it's 3am but I don't think the boy will mind being woken up for this ;)
Thanks agin angel keep written
- Queen
Love, mystery, romance, sex, loss of virginity--what isn't there to like? Goldeniangel, you know how to weave a good story. I enjoyed it.
Worthy of more than five stars. As a romantic, this story touched every button I have. You are a very talented writer.
Not only with all the previous positive comments, but with your decision to put this in the Romance category. Keep up the good work!
Good characterizations, pleasingly romantic, and kept my attention all the way to the end.
5 stars!
And now I am off to see what else you've written... :)
So good. Genuinely lovely story and so hot! But not over the top. Everything fit naturally into a very sweet story
amazing story! I would defo buy it if it was published :) best story I've tead on this site so far......and there have been some pretty good ones!
This is the best story I've ever read hell it's better than some books I've read 5 stars isn't enough but I suppose it will have to do. Great job keep writing!
Accidently hit three stars.. sorry LOVE LOVE best story. It flowed with ease, clever plot, intamcy was spot on, sex was spot on. Excellent!
Thank you so much to everyone who read and voted! there were a lot of amazing stories this year and I'm so honored that everyone enjoyed it so much =) Thanks for helping me win my first contest!
Marking this so I make sure I read it soon. Too much to do in too little time, but I've liked several of your other stories before now. I imagine this will be no different. Congratulations on winning the contest.
CRYING BECAUSE THIS IS TOO BEAUTIFUL. i kept smiling, laughing, covering my face, and widening my eyes like an idiot at so much points in this story. definitely deserved first place, love. ♥ now, on to check out 2nd and 3rd, although nothing will compare to yours. ;)
I dont think theres anything more i can say. you are simply amazing.
This is the best story I've ever read on this site, I thoroughly enjoyed every word! Keep writing, make more of these sexy, sensual, entertaining reads :)
This was simply, absolutely, the best literary creation I have come across on this site so far, that also managed to fulfill all my emotions needs. At the same time, the erotic prose seemed to jump off the papers (or the screen, as is more appropriate). I loved it. Thank you. Keep writing!
I wish I could take my earlier comment back; I know you were trying hard to write a love story; I'm sorry. I feel like I ruin everything by saying what I really feel too much.
As you can see from the title of this comment, I have never read anything this amazing on this site before. To even call it amazing is a severe understatement. You've developed the characters and the intensely romantic relationship between just like a professional writer would and I applaud you for it. Congratulations on winning the contest!
I'm kind of interested in seeing what would happen on their wedding night. Oddly enough, I can kind of picture it in my head with Lily wearing either her wedding dress or, since the marriage took place on Halloween, the Yvette costume that would make Paul go absolutely crazy.
My only hope is that it was biographical. Otherwise, I'd have to assume you were under the influence of some sort of erotic mushroom while you typed. A true pleasure to read!!!
This is the best I have read here. A very good balance and sensitive handling of a sensitive relationship and the characters are real life responsible adults. It seems so real and so authentic. Romantic and thoughtful.
Great story. A classic.
I loved, loved, loved this story! It was perfectly constructed and so well written! Beautiful and full of romance. Great Job!
Really well written. You can be a writer, if you choose. Love and sweet passion; perfect.
This is a beautiful story. I got sucked in so bad that I read it at every red light to work... And every red light back home. Well done!!!
LOVED THIS! Please write more romance, you're so good at it!
AHH!! I absolutely LOVE reading this story. Even though I've read it a billion times, I still love reading it. Please write more romance stories!!
I've read a number of your stories and loved them, but this one takes the grand prize! Loved the costumes, loved the romance, loved the sex, and well...loved the LOVE!
I met my first husband at a Halloween party, and my second proposed to me at one, so this had special meaning for me. THANK YOU for giving me another fantastic Halloween memory!
I was having a pretty boring afternoon here and this just light it for me... It was fun, hot and so sweet... Perfect balance of romance and sex.. Great story line... I hope for more. Keep it up..
xoxo,
Amy
I was soaking wet during the whole thing. This story has an incredible combination of excitement, romance, and just plain steamy sex. I want to read it again!
I love this story because it is about so much more than just sex. You did an amazing job of describing such a vivid, perfect, natural flow of events. I was able to imagine everything so vividly as I read it, and the emotional elements of their relationship made the sex parts so much more intense. You did a great job of communicating that intensity they felt for each other in a way that I haven't seen before in other stories.
One thing bugs me, though. I can't suspend my disbelief of the notion that a virgin is a deep throat expert.
Overall, a very good read. Intrigue, romance, lust, interesting characters...a very enjoyable story.
I'm a sucker for a good romance with a good tryst of love-making. Loved the characters, loved the setting, loved the mystery, loved the ending. The intimate scenes were awesome and I love a tall, growling man. So that did it for me as well. But I have to agree with Sam37 ... Lily's deep-throating expertise broke a bit of the magic for me. Something a bit more natural for a first-timer would have been nice. Healthy enthusiasm mixed with not getting it quite right would have been much nicer. I am going to assume that her being a virgin was a real thing and that it wasn't technically nullified by having given head to hundreds of guys to perfect those skills :) ) ... Took a me a moment to get back into the story again after that section, but thankfully your writing skills made up for that!
I thought this was just a fantastic romantic story with just the right amount of sweetness while still appealing to the side of me that loves to read about an "Alpha" type guy who wants to take and possess his woman. Very well written and a pleasure to read!!!
I loved this! The Feels in this were better than the smutty bits, and the smutty bits were SUPREME. Thanks for this story. -j
This is so romantic. One of the best story I've ever read..Very very romantic like damn. I loved it. Your one amazing writer.
I wish all men a wemen could meet this way and have live like these two did
five is not enuff for this story was a 10 in in my book I hope you wright more like it
love the story line and ever thing about it . keep wrighting you have real gift thanks for shareing it with all of us.
I enjoyed the tale very much and find it entirely believable.
As a matter of fact some more stories about them might work as well.
I will be looking in to your other stories now.
Ramjet
Excellent Story! Would love to read more about this fictional couple!
Absolutely erotic, sexy, & wonderfully descriptive!! Thank you, thank you, thank you for a wonderful story! It may have been a first time story, but it was very, highly erotic! I loved it, keep writing!
A fantastic story of teenage love.
5* for you.
I apologize for my English, is not my native language.
I've read this story several times. I love it, it's one of my all time favorite Romance stories. I read it when I just need to feel good for some reason.
Excellent writing and having gone thru all the comments, it's hard to top what was said. Loved it. NOW, as usually but not in these comments.... One question! In the beginning, Lily said to Paul,she was staying over night and had the guest room. My thoughts later in the story, when she and Paul decided to look for a private spot to do what Lily planed to do. then ended up waking up together .. "How did both of them shower, dress, and leave with no comments from others of the household?" Her make-up was a mess as was her hair, and all she wore was the Go-Go Girl outfit, so her hair was a natural color, face that the residents would know, then getting home .. How? Then answering to her parents, and brother.. Where were you last night? Inquiring minds want to know. I was waiting for the 2nd shoe to fall. All-in-all, Ilved every minute of it. This is the first set of comments I've read where there was "no" spelling or diction comments. I think writing about them is an insult to a Fiction story and comments should only be with the Authors ability and story writing ability. Keep going and in the meantime, I'll rescan and read others you wrote.
To Anonymous:
She still had the wig and mask.
Since she planned things out before hand, she probably did have permission to stay over in the guest room, just saying she was planning on drinking more than usual that night.
She's 19, and really doesn't have to answer to anyone about where she spent the night. If her parents asked, she could just say she crashed at Veronica's place after her party. And she could aways ask Veronica to pick her up from the party house.
Of course Paul would have to sneak out and find his way home. He'd probably call Rob for a ride after Lilly left.
Now that would be an awkward conversation.
Great story of a teen crush, a planned loos of virginity and hot sexy love-making with a feel-good ending…. It’s a “5”.
Great story.
I understand your struggle with the category, but with basically half of the story occurring in bed, I'm not sure Romance is the right choice. OTOH, if you assigned it to FT or EC, you'd hear similar complaints...
I thought the story might take a different direction: she does did sneak out and leave him to wake alone and wonder who she was. Then somehow he discovers it was her (he stumbles upon a receipt next time he's at her/Rob's house?). Then there's an awkward encounter over a family dinner (where he's invited) where they both know what happened, but aren't aware that the other one knows that they know (laughing at Friends where Joey's head almost explodes from "They don't know that we know that they know..."). And after some soul searching, Paul decides he's all in for Lily, so he turns the tables and meets her at a club dressed in a 60's disguise of his own. So he knows it's her, but she doesn't recognize him.
Anyway, I'm no writer like you, so please don't take this as a criticism of your work! Thanks again for a great read.
I also understand your struggle with the category, but we come here to read stories, not listen to writers talk about the process.
Ignore LidiaJay. I for one am fascinated by the process....just keep it either at the very beginning or the end, where those who aren't so interested can skip it, and those of us who are but are in a bit more of a hurry can come back for it at our leisure.