by FNS269
a good tale with a touch of magic. the spirit of a lover comes back on v day.
Really.
I enjoyed the story and gave a top score even though I could not identify with the saintly man. Mr. perfect and rich too? Superstud and awesome sex?
Makes me feel so sad about myself.
Now tell me about the homeless twat so I can connect with a failure by Mr. Perfect.
There is a reason why cheesy comments and wit is called being cheesy. Its obnoxious, and not fun to listen to, or read. Like being in the company of a slick salesman or something.
People who inherit 300 million dollars probably don't hang around in bars, acting as part-time bouncers. Its a real hazardous job, and fraught with legal issues. I guy with 300 million dollars does not want to become a target for a lawyer.
Good wives and mothers are women of virtue, which includes discretion, taste, and decorum in public. Women of virtue don't offer to fuck guys in the middle of a bar, and they don't fuck guys they've just met, especially in a bar, even the one's they really really like. His dead wife would not have sent him anything less than a woman of virtue.
Making the point that this woman he just met, and who offered to fuck him in front of all the bar patrons, can easily take his nine inch cock tends to reinforce that Mindy has been taking cock, and larges one, for some time.
So I appreciate you wanting to make this a warm loving even spiritual romance, but I got kind of distracted by a rich, cheesy, big cock hound picking up a beautiful and easy one night stand, then discovering she is sent from heaven. Whole story ends up being kind of hokey, and cheesy.
Should have been in "Romance" not "Loving Wives". Because of that I gave it a 2.
Thank you for a wonderful and heart warming story. Your critics need to open their copy of Webster's and look at the definition of fiction. I'm looking forward to your next submission.
Glad that he took his late wife's advice. Also relieved that it wasn't a divorce.
But rating strongly anyway.
I do think that the reveal came too quickly. I would have liked to see more interpersonal development before the mystic connection was introduced.
But a touching story none the less. Thanks!
I have to strongly agree with @pumpop201...This is is definitely a LW story!!! True love never dies! Thank you for this "wonderful and heart warming story" (Sic @pumpop201)...5*
It held my attention right to the end and lightened my heart. A hidden gem in LW. Thank you.
The part about it being February 14 for every major event in the story, was repetitious and redundant. The timeline was difficult to follow at times during the first part of the story. And it seemed like we were missing a lot of the back story. Even Mindy knew more about him than we did.
I agree with others that a woman who comes to a bar alone, not wearing panties, offers to screw him in front of everyone, and has no problem accept his larger than average size does not have a heart as pure as snow is white.
Throw in the multimillionaire status, hanging around in a bar as a silent partner/bouncer, superb conditioning, (surprised he wasn't a Navy Seal), and the other oddities and the story itself became as cheesy as his throw away lines.
.
Getting a woman's pussy sopping wet with no panties on while seated on your car's upholstery and then fucking her on the hood of your car!!! Women come and go but a 67 Shelby is a keeper! All kidding aside....beautiful story. Choked me up. 5 stars.
This was a great story, Thank you for taking the time to write it. It made my day.
The story was good initially but i did not like the descriptive love making. Just not well written as what was presumed to be a love story. Plus the chick had no panties which did not flush as she was being put forth as a good girl so to speak. Then the reincarnation portion just did not work at all. Sorry I look forward to your next work. Please keep writing.
Wow! rightbank chewed you up and spit you out. Tsk Tsk! Cute romantic story. Writing was good. Story a bit out there, but okay. Cheers!
just a reader. didn't fall asleep,wasn't anxious, cried, another happy and enjoyable story, Thanx
Great wrap up.
The aspect on him playing "cooler" really didn't fit well but it didn't detract from the tale.
Nicely done overall.
It's fanciful, but wonderfully romantic and very well done. It was a pleasure to read. Thanks for writing.
new author on Lit. A very good tale and written in excellent style. Very few mechanical errors; for example, the obligatory lie vs. lay problem.
For those of us old enough to remember:
Happy trails to you
Until we meet again
Happy trails to you
Keep smilin' until then...
I eventually had to start skimming, though, as parts were so cheesy or over the top they were difficult to get through. For some spiritual, pure as white snow romance, the fact that the woman was wearing no panties for a blind date seemed a bit off.
He's ever so happy that after all her hardline cockteasing she fell asleep and left him with blue balls.
Then there's the fact that he's a single man who fell into hundreds of millions of dollars; has, to say the least, a very big dick and he chooses to hang out every night with an old couple at a bar as a silent partner and unpaid bouncer. It just seemed odd. Oh and then there's the forgotten tale of the homeless woman.
So much of it was unnecessary and detracted from an otherwise above average read.
Cog
I have to wonder if any of those who cut you up bothered to check your Bio. page. You did make some mistakes, but who doesn't? I had given you a five before I saw that this was your first submission; once I saw that I wanted to give you a ten.
Arguments over category aside, you did GOOD! I hope all the Anons who bitch about cuckolds gave you high compliments. We have a man here who still loved his dead wife and throughout the entire story, none of the main characters showed disrespect for another. KEEP WRITING AND GOOD LUCK!
There were two Loving Wives in this story, ok one of them almost certainly a wife-to-be. This was original and, I thought nicely paced, not to be skimmed hurriedly but read thoroughly and enjoyed. If this is your first effort, then keep going, please keep going.
Nice to read a story to where the wife does not let her pussy due the talking and let some low life make her into trash and then say it was just sex, a one nighter, or I was lonely. Am I to believe all lonely men drive super fast cars??waxed every day or every other day? Sounds like I need to find a mustang and wax it.
Cannot give you a better complement than: please hurry up and write another story !
Gave you 4*s . Sweet !
AMerryMan
Your first story? I am seriously impressed!
Can we have some more, please?
A little cheesy, but a feel good story. Finds a perfect reincarnation of his departed wife.a little full here. But a great read. Happy ending . Please write again and thank you.
True love wins again. Even through the space/time continuum it thrives. Great Valentine Day tale.
Five Big Hearts
You professional authors are always yanking us readers chains lol. First story? Hard to believe ....... Great writing
you sure your not an established author. move I've JPB. SS06 and the rest there is a new Story Slinger in town,
Okay. Here is the thing that reared into my mind. You put this image here, you need to own it.
"I doubt a bag of KITTY LITTER would dry her out'' ??????
Are you fucking kidding me? You want THAT image in my head in a romantic seductive story? A pussy filled with kitty litter?
There is no conflict. So there is no story. The closest you came to conflict was a tiff with the parents that we already knew they failed at.
So half page seduction (with kitty litter) half a page of sex, page of back story, another page of sex and sitting around breakfast.
It is reasonably well written (remove cheese. Remove kitty litter) This is a story driven by schmaltz. And that's fine. Sometimes it's good for a little light schmaltzy story. But there was little drama and not a lot of emotion. It is hard for me to get broken up about this man's loss of wife when I know she's spent the last page and a half banging her sideways.
Not bad for a first effort. Just...think about your metaphors a bit.
I can,t say how good it is to read a real LOVE STORY. My first wife died abruptly at age 34. Some amazing things took place in my life that I know were under her direction. Maybe someday I will be able to tell the story.
Fantastic read, looking forward to more.
But I still like the story, it is a good read.
"did what I would do for any lady in distress. I leapt from my table and crossed about twenty feet in .07 seconds.
I grabbed the guy from behind his neck and lifted him off the ground as my other hand went around his throat."
Because he was hitting on her?
Sorry, but this just SCREAMS what a complete tool you are. I stopped reading at that point. When are the authors in this area going to come up with an original main character? It's the same crap every story:
1. Doesn't drink
2. Needs to establish he is all for feminism, and will defend all of the weaker species with violence as he deems necessary. White Knight.
3. He's successful.
4. He's modest and not incredibly good looking but:
a) he works out religiously (although he may have slightly let himself go whilst working his fingers to the bones to support the ones he loves)
b) shortly after stating how 'average' he is, he will go into great detail of all the women who are willing to divorce their husbands and leave their children for one night with him.
5. If he isn't an ex Navy Seal, he can hack into the NSA database via his cell-phone.
6. Oh, and the god-damned Mustangs!! I'm to the point where I see a middle aged male driving a Mustang and I automatically think "Hey there Cuck."
While I agree that many stories follow the same formula as listed in the comments with the title Another White Knight, I really liked this story. I was kind of surprised that it was a new author and not SS06. I am looking forward to see what this author will come up with in future submissions. Thank you for your story.
Thanks for the offering. I get the point of the story, I just feel like you could have done a better job of building up to it. The backstory on the wife felt thrown into the storyline, then we find out that it was crucial to the storyline.
My 5 stars is not because of perfect grammar , or the best, or most original story but for an enjoyable read. It's nice when the people in the story are not cheaters or looking to have their husbands humiliated, or a dumb husband wanting his wife to fuck everyone. Why not a story like this where they both are to good people who have been in love but had that taken away by tragedy. Now by chance they meet and fall in love. I think it's nice for a change and has more of a loving feeling to it in this category. Hope to read more from you
....and well written.
While you have a newsy style, you manage to give your characters personalities we can enjoy and relate to.
I hope to see more, and especially so, if you are one of those rare writers that does not waste time with cuckophile stories or with men that want to be cuckolded...I'll go look....and hope I'm right about you.
Thank you, and please keep writing. More like this would be a delight.
i feel that this story is one on the better ones in the contest. i really loved it.
...nothing more to say. You have delivered a great piece of work for Valentines Day. Thank you for that. 5*
I really want to thank everyone who read the story and voted. I may not have won the contest, but I am happy with the results. This was my first story and with the help of findingmyvoice as my editor, I think it turned out well. Yes, I went over the top with the guys endowment, cheesy lines, and the money. I will be writing more stories and hope you all check them out. Although I enjoy romance and fidelity, please don't expect that from me in every story. My next one will be of a Dom/Sub chance encounter. With the 50 Shades movie hitting today, I will be submitting a story for that genre. Keep an eye out for others, as I have several stories going on right now. I know I need to write a BTB story. Many of you may want me to write a cuck story, don't expect any out of me, but I might do a Bull story.
Again, thank you all for your support.
reminded me of batman. robin, superman, wonder woman, etc in all their cheesiness
. . . is not the 9 by 7. It's having sex ON THE HOOD OF A COBRA! You have got to be kidding me.
misunderstood by almost all and the rest cant say it doesn't occur. TK U MLJ LV NV
Uses a dating service?
Other than that oddity, I really enjoyed the love story and transcendental elements of these two characters. Well done.
Thanks for the story and please keep writing.
I mean if you ignore the heinous parents and the death of two spouses, a loving grandmother, and what is [if I got your math right) approximately a seven-month old unborn child...
Though I don't over-analyze it, I can't help but wonder why Mindy's whole dead family, including her husband, were adverse to her being dead just then too...
All in all, aside from Brandy's parents and some drunken individuals, very likable characters...
This was a nice change from the usual wife-turned-selfish whore fare!
which is almost exactly the same idea. Will post the title if I can ever find it again.
They both knew the risk of carrying the child. Instead of deciding for abortion they took the high horse and fucked themselves over. There are millions of orphaned kids , with 300 Fucking Millions they sure could adopt ONE KID.
This story was like having a cup of cocoa before bed!
Maybe just a bit too predictable to deserve the full five pointy things, but definitely worth four plus!
I loved this story. It reminds me of work by HDK, Randi, and some of the other giants of LW. If this story was your first it is amazing. Wish you had written more.
has people return to it?
In spite of word of mouth?
Yeah.
Right.
Just a prop device. A mcguffin. So what if it makes nooooo sense whatsoever.
Top Story! This should have been in the Romance section?...5 Stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
This story is about romance and not the perverted loving wife's story.
This reminds me of the quote from Avatar the legend of Aang
"Sometimes the friendship is so strong it transcends lifetime"
- Avatar Roku
***** Stars
I hope that Mindy always believes that Michael is making love to her and not to his memory of Brandy. Good story!
What a gem! I am very glad I came across this story! Definitely worthy of a perfect score!
Every so often a story like this comes along. It is something out of the Twilight Zone or X Files, however the writer makes it work. I read this story and it made me feel good that the husband found peace again. Good job. BTRH...
Very nice story for the most part, the sex scene was drug out a bit long to make this a truly romantic story but this an Erotic story site so I am probably in the minority.
After 7 years I don't expect you're still reading comments, but since your own note 7 years back said this was your first, perhaps you check back once in awhile, so...
My attention was grabbed and held throughout primarily because of the title--which I take as a reference to the 1939 WW II song by Vera Lynn usually associated with soldiers leaving for war expecting not to return. (Re-released in 2020, reaching #55 on the UK charts. A CD collection of her songs also became a bestseller at the same time.)
I've been told all my life (B. 1946) that subconsciously we all associate particular songs with significant events and milestones in our lives. For me, it's a fact and this one...well, this one is too special to relate. Suffice it to say that I never expected to find it triggered on an erotic website.
Thank you for writing a great life-affirming story...and for the memory.
It's been
Life is full of twists and turns, as seasons change we once returned, to places we been to escape our burns, remembering all the life we learned.
A bit crytic, I know. Seriously though, life has a way of changing the path we are on. I am amazed people still read this, and I have always appreciated the feedback. If I am lucky enough to find an editor again, maybe a story or two will make it here.
Reasonable story until you went over the top with your "package".. Go and get a piece of plastic drain pipe that is 2.25" diameter and see if you think a woman will get that in.
Generous sized dildos are only 1.5" diameter.
Downgraded to a 4 because of the 7" circumference comment.
Go and get a piece of 2.5" diameter pipe and see how that fits in in a female!