by H. Jekyll
Not what I saw coming. I was hoping to read some of what was happening to Alice with Richard. OK, we had a hint with the blowjob and the piercings, but is obviously much more than that to make her such a submissive.
So she's been seduced, been discarded and her husband no longer wants her. Revenge on Richard didn't work out, so it looks like the bad guy really might win. I've no idea where this going, which is very clever writing, but I'm now even more eager to find out. Looking forward to the next of what I hope is many more parts.
I am confused. The author notes, tags and some of the dialogue hinted at bad blood between Richard and Henry. So I screened the previous parts but found nothing. Could someone enlighten me what happened here? What is Richards motivation? In the author notes there was talk about burning bridges to past friendships and hate as an explanation for his actions.
Richard still needs a bullet to the brain. Only diseased infection would come out.
Nice twist at the end. Henry is far too incompetent to play the games he fantasizes about. He should leave the whore to her own means, wait a year then pay Richard a proper visit. Then again, he's telegraph so bad you could hear him a mile away.
False title and garbage story. Guess you deserve those low ratings. Here's a 1 for your lack of effort as well.
Stupid and a complete waste of time. It had no point and wasn't even a fun read. Wish I never read it.
Later that week Richards body was seen floating down the river. Alice was found whored out on the streets.
Henry moved on eventually. He even found love again while Richard was turning into worm shit.
Pure junk. You train a guys wife to be a zombie and then discard her? You're no better than a dog or animal trainer. Now she is brain washed and the husband is useless to even his own self.
@Karnevil Re: No revenge on Richard. But that's the problem with so many stories, that all the revenge is on the predator, when it's the wife who betrayed her vows. Unless he used force or drugs, he couldn't have done anything without her. She's the one who should pay the price.
Where are the first three parts? Why doesn't this show up in the Submissions?
The husband is not only a wimp he is as stupid as his wife. If you point a gun at someone you've stalked, you pull the trigger if you have a clear shot. Nothing else makes any sense barring police who are trained NOT to shoot. Putting your back to a wall is basic. At this point any further story would be useless as both the MC and his wife are worthless. Please do not continue with this story. You had your chance to give the mc a little bit of character and really blew it.
I hope that Henry is allowed his revenge on both Alice and Richard. He didn't get any on Richard here and Alice was hurt by Richard, not him. So hoping he gets things to work out for him for a change. And a happy ending.
Nobody's security is that good. Just a fact. If you want to get someone, you can. Full stop.
I really hope we can learn exactly WHY Richard did all of this in the next chapter. What was he upset about?
This story is like watching a moron and loser Become a complete idiot and fool. Really? You must be the type of writer who always ensures the big guy always wins and the good guy is just a wimp and simp. Thought we might see Me Hyde finally but alas you made sure his appearance was short lived and meaningless. Awful.
A wimpier MC I've never seen. He's got a gun, and the vase gets it; blasted into smithereens, it'll never look the same again. The evil villain? well, we've got some TALKING to do, of course with our back to an open door, from which some security guards come thru. This guy is too stupid to live, and should never have gotten together with Alice. Forget her, buy yourself a blowup up doll, and continue your miserable existence.
So what? The slut is an idiot, the husband is a fuck up and Richard is your typical dick! There's really nothing to this story.
The logical outcome?
Henry should swallow a lead pill... no That would scare bystanders, so swallowing an exhaust would maybe be more elegant, see, no gore.
Kudo's 'H', messed us all up with this one.
Oh, dear. Wonderful. And now to pick up the pieces and tie up loose ends. There are a lot of loose ends and I hope we get some resolution. Really well done. Thank you
Where was the rest of the story? Or was this some half ass scene like from a movie you saw? Most of it was disjointed. Not a story at all.
Henry should get his satisfaction on dichard, it has already cost him everything he valued. What does he really have to lose, his life? His liberty? Even these things lose meaning when you have been so jerked around as dichard has done to Henry.
And should an evil not pay the penalty for his treachery? Should wealth and power be a shield to stop the rays from the light of justice? Dichard's henchmen and lawyers should all pay as well. What's that? They were just well paid flunkys doing their jobs? For the love of money is the root of all evil. They are all evil men who enabled an evil man to wreck something that was good. Not only for Henry and Alice, but for all of dichard's other victims as well.
I would like to comment that Henry really hasn't exhibited the highest level of intelligence in his attempt at getting to richard. He got where he ended up by chance and dumb luck. He didn't protect his 6, didn't adequately arm himself and didn't provide for a last resort 'Heaven for All' option. If he was looking to take richard out on his home turf with all of his body guards and other resources...Fail. A little forethought with extreme malice goes a long way to evening the playing field.
Is that all there is? Couldn’t you let Henry get just a little revenge? At least Alice found her true worth.
Hope it was good for you. It takes less than a quarter of a second to pull the trigger on a gun. It takes a bit longer than that for two men to rush out of hiding and subdue a gunman. But who cares, right? Its all just fantasy and bullshit. Hope you enjoyed writing it as much as I enjoyed reading it.
Was the worse supposed story I have met, confusion certainly amongst the most of it, was nearly a one, but least wasn't a cuck story at least Henry wasn't one. But still seen better writings from newer writers, these multiple part stories are starting to become trash, as the writers don't really know how to fill the middles out so they make them long winded in the hopes something will come, namely from the readers writing comments on how the story should unfold. Please readers don't give this writer information on how it's suppose to go let them do it themselves after all they are meant to have the skills needed, which apparently this one doesn't.
For those who have not figured it out yet, this is the 4th part of the Fantasy Series..
So far every following part of the series get lower overall rating. And I guess it won't be better unless plot changes
With 16600 views and just 2.59*, this tale has obviously been very, very much disliked. And this is the norm everyday, an endless hammering with nothing else than fetish-cuck tales, that almost never reached the minimum of the 4* (many not even the 3*). These kind of tales, that clearly belong to the Fetish category, are not going to get better results, as long as they get published in this LW category. The fetish-cuck theme is not the only base for a new tale, so why 90% of them are always on that same, and so much disliked, theme ?
wtf? where is this assholes commumpance? Come on burn the bastard already.
Seems that H. Jekyll was really discouraged by negative reviews and it's great unknown whether this series will be properly completed.
It's just the facts: in this LW category the femdom-fetish-cuck fantasies are, almost all, doomed to a very bad readers feedback and a really low readers evaluation. Almost none of them reach the minimum of the 4* (75% of the rating range) for a decently appreciated tale. It's a regular thing by many months.