Casey's Fall Ch. 17

I love your ideas, and I had planned to do a few things along those lines to Casey originally. I did change course a little but there's still plenty to come for her and hopefully you still like where it goes.

Carnalval, there's 28 chapters and they're all ready to go up. Each chapter is a day so Casey goes from start to finish in just a month. Originally I was going to call it "28 Days". It seemed like a fun idea to write it that way but in retrospect it meant having to write a few fairly boring chapters. It also probably would have worked better if the whole thing could be read at once rather than one chapter at a time separated by days. (The Literotica submission process has an approval system to go through so I thought it best to wait for each chapter to publish before I submitted the next one just in case any got rejected and I ended up with a missing chapter or they got out of order or something. So far they take 2 days to get published after I upload them.)

I've tried to focus on feelings and thought processes but I also think there's a limit before that becomes gruelling to read, so I try to keep it to under 2 pages per chapter, which is around 6-14 Word pages with an 11pt font. I think in some cases I undershot it a bit though and it reads a bit like a blog, but we live and learn. ;)

I love the idea of the coming out party. Hopefully Jolene will take Casey and Cassandra into another room and tell them Casey is not allowed to cover herself or even close her thighs completely, so Jolene offers Casandra money to make sure Casey behaves at school. put her in control...would like her mom and dad to get involved with her not sexually maybe her dad could see her perform on her web.

Love your story. Casey is awkward still as she was not sure how to present herself to the boys. Maybe some exposure to slave positions by a trainer explained to her as acting lessons might improve her demeanor when she entertains. Dildoes need to be cleaned by her orally in front of the guests this would aid in her humiliation. And she could learn some deep throat techniques also. Some ponygirl training might also contribute to her conditioning.

I continue to enjoy how you bring out her inner conflict of her animal side versus her feelings. It brings out a lot of angst and humiliation which is at present confusing to her.

Keep up the good work

I've made lots of long winded anon comments on your chapters, I'm logged into this account on this computer, but my other I haven't bothered lol. Anyway sorry for making so many comments half as long as your chapters.

It's interesting how Literotica works, sometimes submitting a chapter you have to wait 2-3 weeks before it gets posted... If you have been submitting a chapter every other day it makes me wonder what chapter you are really on, lol. Hopefully we're up to 30+

When I saw you liked SeaHawk on your profile I knew you had exemplary taste, you actually motivated me to reread the story a second time. It def is one of the best. The scene in the restaurant with the bowl of milk... Yum. Wish they would come back and write the sequel about Barb coming back and seeing what happens with Danica, tbh I was hoping Barb would win, but I def want to see it continue from Danica's POV.

As commented before I really enjoyed how CHawx wrote 9's inner dialog, about the constant hum of arousal and how the positions she was in heightened it. I would love to see some of that with Casey, you've hinted at it really well but details are hot af when it comes to that.

The permanent alterations thing has come up before, and considering your alternate universe seems to have some technology specifically for indents and exhibitionists... It would be 10/10 if there were some sort of procedure that would make Casey get *much* more wet... Dripping wet all the time when she was highly aroused, and when Jolene commands her to kneel for extended times, she would leave a juice puddle behind when she was finally allowed to leave that left her feeling humiliated and even more aroused.

I'm sure you could come up with other excellent ideas in that area if you wanted to... Would def love to see it.

Anyway look forward to next chapter and hope they keep showing up every other day for a long time to come!

Great suggestions here. Yes, I read SeaHawk's Confessions of a Mailgirl only recently and I loved it. It made me regret the direction I took this story a bit. My thoughts were to try to keep the characters somewhat plausible with what I thought would be realistic reactions and so on, while still not letting Casey off the hook so she would have to find a way to deal with it. That for me was what would make this into a proper story rather than just a tale of something crazy that happened to someone. Confessions of a Mailgirl had some plausibility issues but SeaHawk's writing style dealt with it so eloquently that those issues didn't matter, well at least not to me. It was possibly the best story along these lines that I've ever read.

I've added some more tension into Casey and Jolene's relationship in the sequel but it needs more work yet. I've been too focussed on plot which has left it lacking a bit of soul I think. I've also put elements in that were designed to shape Casey's character, particularly with her relationship with Greg, but it possibly puts a large part of the first chapter into a different genre which I suspect a lot of people following the story might not enjoy. Others will though, particularly if they're familiar with my name from elsewhere. I'm kind of committed to it now though and I know I'll never please everyone so I'll probably still run with it, but there will be other characters I can do some interesting things with, and there can always be other stories. ;)