Sharing

We both laughed and laughed. I got out of bed to get a warm cloth to clean him up a little and sooth his ass. He had taken a lot for his first time.

He still lay on his side for my cleaning. I lay down next to him. He lifted his leg to reach for my cock, pulling it along his balls, petting it gently. I snuggled closer and wrapped my arms around him.

***

A gap in the curtains let in the morning sun. I don't think we had moved all night, lying together. The only change was my cock was now raging hard. Dan roused to my movement. "Ready again?"

"Not to take anything away from your attractiveness, dear one, but I really have to pee."

I met him as I came out of the bathroom. He stopped and took my cock in one hand, balls in the other. "No wonder it feels like I sat on a fire hydrant. My god, did I take all that?"

"You seemed to enjoy it at the time."

"I'm still feeling it now." He paused to kiss me, then ran to address his own need to piss. After a short while Dan called from the bathroom, "Is it normal to have gas after you get fucked?"

I assured him it was very normal, that air often gets pushed in. He'd be back to normal in no time. The next funny noise was my own stomach growling. "You hungry?"

"Starving" came the reply along with some quite musical toots.

I called room service and ordered a massive breakfast. I heard the shower start in the bathroom. The shower was in a very large stall. Dan greeted me with kiss when I joined him. I took the soap from him and rubbed him all over, being very careful around his ass.

"Careful, you'll make me cum again."

"Don't worry, I plan to, but not until after breakfast."

Dan soaped me, spending a lot of time on my cock and balls. "No matter how I try, I can't get this thing all soaped up. It keeps growing and growing."

"You better stop that or you'll make me cum."

"'Don't worry, I plan to' I believe is the phrase."

We finished the shower, holding back from further sex and were toweling each other off when someone knocked at the door. I had just grabbed the robe the hotel had provided for Dan and tossed him the pajama bottoms when the room service staff let themselves in. They began setting up in the sitting room. I took a step from the bathroom into the bedroom and had to gasp. The scene looked like the aftermath of an orgy - though I suppose it kind of was. The mattress was half off the bed, crusty cum stains covered the sheets, the condom I had used was draped across the headboard where it must have landed when I tossed it.

Dan came up behind me and wrapped me in his arms. "Morning, lover."

"No doubt of that." I gestured toward the scene of our debauch.

"Holy shit." Dan agreed.

At that moment, the double doors swung open and three hotel staff members came into the bedroom. On spotting us, me in Dan's embrace, they quickly backed out of the room. "Your breakfast is served. May we tidy your bed and bath?"

I was mortified at the prospect of strangers seeing the remains of our passion and quickly tossed the condom and wrapper into a trash can and pushed the mattress back on the bed.

"Not much to be done about the rest of it" Dan said and led me by the hand into the sitting room for breakfast.

From my side of the table I could see into the bedroom. The hotel staff talked discretely among themselves, eyes meeting significantly, as they surveyed the wreckage. One picked up the trash can to empty it, but paused, reaching inside. He pulled out the condom. It looked obscene, all stretched out. It could have fit an elephant. The man reached in again and pulled out the wrapper. "Extra Large". The three men paused to look over their shoulders at us. I smiled sheepishly.

Dan asked,"What's up?"

"I think our tryst has been discovered."

"You think so? You're sitting almost naked with your fabulous hairy chest exposed in a robe. I'm here in pajama bottoms. The bedroom draped with rubbers and coated in cum. Does that add up to something? I could also add the lovely aura of satisfaction you seem to give off."

"You look might yummy in just pajama bottoms."

"I guess 'bottom' is the word."

"Yes, I know what you mean. I'll be looking to get some of that action, myself."

"You bottom?"

"Oh, yes, I do it all. I am into sex with a man, in all its flavors."

"Then you better have more to eat, you'll need your strength."

I don't know if the hotel staff were listening to us, but they certainly gave us the eye as they passed us to leave the room.

I reached across the table and took Dan's hand, pulled it to my lips and kissed it.

"Thank you, my gallant" Dan responded looking at me softly.

The tenderness of the moment came to an end with the telephone ringing. I reached over and hit the 'speaker' button.

"Will you take a call from Mr. Tim Sean?" asked a voice.

"Of course."

"John are you okay?" came a rush of voices. "We're all here on the speaker phone. The news when we came in this evening was full of riots right where you are."

To Dan, "my roommates, lovers, family." My heart began to sink.

To the phone, "Yes, I'm fine. The hotel I'm staying at was built as a colonial fortress and has its own army of guards. It's pretty wild outside, but I'm fine." I began to feel guilty. My family was concerned for my safety and I had had sex with another man. My voice must have given away my feelings.

"John, are you really okay? You sound funny." Tim's voice.

"I guess you could say I had occasion to use the package you put in my suitcase."

All in a chorus they shouted, "John got laid, John got laid."

"And we're here holding our puds, waiting for you to come home."

"If I remember correctly, I had at least two of those puds up my ass this morning."

"Shhhh, I'm trying to make him feel wanted."

"I'm guessing he's feeling pretty wanted by someone right over there."

"I'm glad." Mark again. "If I know you, you were working long days, not eating right, killing yourself, too tired to even beat off. But I guess you found someone to spend some time with. That's great."

Dan said quietly, "I don't think that's how my wife would react."

"Is someone there with you?" Sean this time.

"Yes, his name is Dan. I work with him on the project. He's very handsome and..." my voice trailed off.

"John, something's wrong. What is it?" asked Mark.

"Damn, no secrets from you guys."

"You know we know you better than that." Brad.

"Two things, I guess. One," I looked deep into Dan's eyes, "he's married." Dan flushed with shame. I took his hand in mine again. "Two, Tim, you remember that dream I told you about when we first got together?"

Tim inhaled audibly. "Yes, the one with the face."

"Yes, that's the one. Dan could be him."

Tim stammered a bit, but caught himself. "John, you know I love you, we love you. We'll back you up wherever this takes you, no matter what. But be careful. There's a lot at stake for him - and you. We're all here when you need us, any time. We're relieved to hear that you are safe. We better let you get back to things there. I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you."

"And I love you guys, all you guys. Thank you. You're the best. Bye."

Dan sat across from me, his hand still in mine. "They're all really special, aren't they? I mean, you told them you were with someone else, and they thought about how that was good for you, not how it might hurt them. And it didn't hurt them, did it? I could tell, they were relieved that you were being 'taken care of'."

"We've never had any rules, except to care for each other. With five guys, there's always someone ready to get it on. I've never even thought about sex with anyone else. Until now..."

I pulled him to his feet, drew him to me and kissed him, deeply.

I could feel Dan hesitate. "I'm feeling like the home wrecker now. You guys have something incredible. I don't want to mess that up. And what about this dream?"

I told Dan about my recurring dream, where a man made love to me, a man who was my heart's own desire. My four lovers were my family and we loved each other dearly, but we each understood that our relationship was about the group and that somewhere deep inside, I suspected there was that special one who would be my all.

"It's crazy to even think about that. We've only known each other a week, been intimate one night. And I'm terrified to utter the words, but Dan, I love you."

He turned away from me, head bowed. "How can this be happening? Until last night I never told a soul about my secret desire. Until a week ago, I dared the thought of making love to a man only in the deepest solitude. And then I saw you."

"You came into the office, still groggy from the long flight and too little sleep. But I watched as you came into focus when presented with the work. You came alive, perceptive, open, enthusiastic. My heart was pounding and I tried not to know why. Yes, physical attraction was wound all through my thoughts. But there was a likeable quality about you, a basic competence that marked you as a man. It was all I could do not kiss you there and then."

"And now, we've made love and I am changed. My deepest desire and greatest fear are realized. I have found a part of me, long repressed, has been released, that I can love a man. And part of me is lost, the pretense that my life was complete. How can it be that at this same moment I am more myself and yet more a stranger to myself than ever before? Oh, John, I am torn."

Who am I to comfort this man? I have never known his pain. Then it came to me, just as my lover family understood that we each had needs and desires beyond what we could give each other, Dan was the same. Only he was part, granted a willing part, of an institution that valued possession more than love. What I could offer Dan, and myself, was just that, love, unconditional, with caring for the other more than myself.

I led Dan into the bedroom. We sat side by side against the headboard. Dan leaned his head against my shoulder. I could tell he was near tears. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and pulled him to my chest. "Dan, I'm not sorry we've made love. I am very sorry you are confused. And I don't want to add to your burden. I will respect your feelings, respect any boundaries you feel necessary. "

Dan said quietly, "What do we do now?"

"Dan, I'm sure what you've experienced is overwhelming, daring to reach out for what you desire. I see that as an act of courage. I don't see our love making as a betrayal. I see it as an expression of your and my true nature, meeting in this time and place. I guess I see it as a random chance presented to us, that I'm proud to have accepted the chance to know you. To love you is accepting a gift - not asking the cost, not asking the motivation of the giver - just accepting the gift of you. "

"I don't know where this will lead. I only know that right here and now I am with you and I am grateful. I'm grateful for last night. If we never make love again, if I were never to see you again after this moment, I am better for having known you. I know love better for what we have shared. "

Dan let his head sink into my lap. I was a little ashamed that my cock swelled and pushed back against his face - and pleased, too. I petted his head, tracing the shape of his ear with my fingers. He reached up and led my fingers to his mouth, kissing each one then sucking my thumb into his mouth. He fellated my thumb, my cock swelling and pushing hard against his face.

"John, I'm sorry to burden you with my baggage. You responded to my need with generosity. I've responded by sinking into guilt from a morality I despise. Let's be bold." Dan's spirit was rising, so was my cock. Dan sat up, moved astride my outstretched legs. "I see what you mean by the gift of the time we have together. I don't want to waste it. The project will end and we'll have to figure out what we do then, but for now, if you're willing, let's use the gift of our opportunity to be together.

He pulled the robe I wore open and took my cock into his mouth.

"Dan, do you think we can be together and still work effectively?"

"Mmmm hmmmmm."

"I'll take that as a 'yes'".

Just as he was teasing me to full erection, there was a knock at the door.

"You better get that."

"You think you're any harder than me? Sucking you turns me on."

"You at least have pajama bottoms on."

Dan got up from the bed, indeed tenting his pajamas. He opened the door a crack. An envelope was thrust inside. He came back with a open letter in his hand. "The Management state that while the activities outside have begun to abate, they suggest we remain in our rooms until further notice. Thanking us for our forbearance, etc. etc etc."

"It looks like we're stuck together for a while. "

"Hmm mmm."

"It's after 9 on the Coast, I'd better call home."

"Okay, I'll be here."

I overheard some of Dan's conversation. He was subdued. He explained that he had changed hotels and was staying with a coworker due to the emergency, that he was safe and would let his wife know as the situation improved. What I heard very clearly, to my surprise, was her saying she had to go, cutting him off impatiently.

"She hates it when I travel. But it's often difficult when we're together. It wasn't always that way." I led Dan back to the bed, returning him to my side, my arm around him. "When we were first together, we had fun, we enjoyed each other's company. She liked my touch. After a couple of years, that began to change. I guess I changed, too. I was working more, trying to please my bosses. She worked, too and I know did an outstanding job. As my career gained some ground, I felt she resented me. It wasn't my success, so much as how society held her back. I always tried to be supportive. It became clear to me the time I got a pretty good raise and bonus. It was enough to make room for some small changes in our lives. I remember it like it was yesterday, how she spat out at me, "you think you're so great." I was crushed and didn't know how to respond. I love her but feel separate."

"It was around then that sex changed. We were young and fairly naïve, but I thought enthusiastic. Then one night she turned to me as I held her in bed, 'I wish you wouldn't pest for sex.' A few days later, I had been giving her some space, she turned to me and said, 'You don't show me any affection.' When I held her and kissed her, I became erect. She flounced off disgusted.

It was then I realized that men and woman are different about sex. I know, no news there, but I hadn't thought about it. It's not that woman don't want or enjoy sex, but it is different. When I am near the one I love and we're touching, I'm getting hard. Do I want sex? Hell yeah. Do I have to have it? Not every time, but if it's been a while, then I need to have sex. With my wife, if there are dishes in the sink, unpaid bills, mean gossip at work, anything, then she doesn't want sex. I don't get the connection. Everything has to be perfect for her to be in the mood. And she waits for me to start it. Then gets mad if I haven't detected the secret signs that this is the moment - whether I'm interested or not. Needless to say, the times when all the planets aligned got fewer and fewer.

That's when my dreams would become vivid. I'd wake up with a screaming hard on, just wanting an affectionate touch, and be met with hostility, not just disinterest, but hostility. I tried bringing up the subject when things were cool, but my wife became offended and accused me of saying she wasn't attractive. What could I do? I stuck all that stuff into my heart and carried on.

Then one day, she told me it was her heart's desire to start a family. Oh boy. This was the break though I was praying for. The affectionate woman I had known in our early marriage was back. I was definitely looking forward to the practice. She got a book and we followed all the directions. We went shopping to get me some boxers to improve the sperm count. We had fun being together again.

Then the good/bad news: she had become pregnant on the first round. Practice was over. Some hormonal beast now occupied our home with me. I sucked it up and did what I could to make her happy. That's pretty much impossible, so we endured. Then my son was born. Oh glorious day. Life is busy with a newborn, a toddler, a pre-schooler. So busy, I was the 'go off to work dad', she was the "stay at home mom." Even though we lived in the same house, we only saw each other briefly on weekends, usually when she handed the child over to me so she could sleep.

Then she announced she wanted another child. I must have been crazy, but I was just as hopeful of what our lives could be again. I was an idiot. When she didn't become pregnant right away, she panicked. She saw a string of fertility specialists who had conflicting, unhelpful advice. I submitted to a fertility test. My wife was furious as she read the results. 'It could be you, you're not super man.' My high fertility enraged her, made her feel inadequate, so she raged at me. It wasn't my fault, but she was lost to reason. I tried to comfort her and be supportive. She continued her search for a child. One day, in compliance with a test of some sort, we had sex - it wasn't making love, it was a utilitarian, joyless act. It was supposed to be a test, but it worked. Our second child had been conceived. After receiving the news, I was again elated. She was smug. That night, she turned her back to me in bed and I felt as if I had served my purpose, that all I was good for was supporting her children. What could I do? I still loved her, loved my children.

We've prospered - on the outside. Nice enough house in a nice enough neighborhood. Kids are flourishing, healthy, smart, fun to be with. I've got nothing to complain about. Most don't have it anywhere near as good as me.

I feel guilty for wanting more, not more money, not even sex. I want to be touched, to be held, to be cherished. I want sex to be a celebration, not a semi-annual accommodation. I want to be in love and to be loved.

"John, you're running your hand through my chest hair. It feels so good, makes me feel manly, and I think you like doing it."

I assured him I did love touching him, feeling the textures of his body, the muscle, skin and hair. I get as much satisfaction in these quiet moments of touch as full on sex.

"And when I suck your cock, I am so excited by that, I'd do it for my own satisfaction."

"Mine too, lover. Mine too."

"Here with you now, this is the closeness I've always craved. I love you."

Dan had worked through some very difficult issues. I had done nothing but caress him, and much as he described, took my own satisfaction from touching him.

"Make love to me Dan, please."

"You mean, like we did last night?"

"Same stuff, trade places. I want you in me."

Dan wrapped himself around me and held me hard against him.

"Don't worry lover, I'm not going anywhere."

Dan cried tears from deep in his soul. "I've needed to hear that. I didn't know how much I needed it." He paused to dry his eyes and blow his nose.

I kissed him again, then reached down between his legs and grabbed his balls. "Come here, mister. I need to be fucked and you're going to do it."

We locked eyes as he entered me. His face was crossed with love, concern, and desire. He pressed slowly in. I put my hands against his hips to stop his entry, needing to adjust to having his thick cock inside me. "I need a moment to get used to you."

"I'm afraid I won't satisfy you." Ah, what was behind his look of concern. "You're so much bigger than me."

My ass had eased and I pulled him all the way into me. He breathed out completely in a sigh.