The Teasepot

Several few years ago I saw a movie called The Brass Teapot that inspired me to write this. Basically, there's a magic teapot that creates money anytime the owner experiences pain. While it would be easy to expand on that with an S&M concept, I thought I'd modify it a bit for T&D.

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Just about every family has that one person who's a bit weird. A creepy uncle, eccentric grandfather, or in my case a wacky aunt. Aunt Barbara always had strange hobbies and beliefs, mainly anything to do with magic or the occult. Usually, it was harmless stuff like tarot cards or having her palm read by her own personal psychic. Growing up my mother would constantly be rolling her eyes while talking to her on the phone, wondering how much money her sister was throwing away this time and if she'd have to give her yet another "loan" to get out from under it.

Of course, Barbara thought everyone should share in her beliefs. So birthdays and Christmas were always interesting with the gifts she'd give out. We all have more crystals, talismans, and other various good luck charms than we know what to do with. Most went to Goodwill, a few were kept to display when she visited so feelings weren't hurt. This year was no different. It's my 30th birthday and mom insisted I meet up with the family for dinner. I'm currently in between girlfriends and have no other plans, so I head over to mom's house. Fortunately our family isn't too big, just my parents, sister, a couple cousins I barely know, and of course goofy Aunt Barbara. We have a nice dinner and some cake, then I'm given a few presents. Just normal things, some nice shirts and a tie, that is until I get Barbara's gift. As I'm opening it, I prepare myself for another academy award winning performance of how much I like whatever is in this box.

As I look inside, I'm actually impressed. It looks like an antique silver teapot. I do like drinking green tea, so this will come in handy, and it even looks pretty valuable if I'm ever desperate for money. As I'm about to give her a sincere thank you for the first time in forever, she starts telling me about the new age store she found it in and how she could sense the positive energies and power it was giving off and how it would be perfect to help align my chi. Fine, I made that last part up, but I zoned out at that point and found myself staring at the strange markings all over it. This thing must be insanely old. I lightly trace my fingers along one of them, trying to decipher it, when I'm interrupted by my mother snapping her fingers in front of my face, "Victor, thank your Aunt Barbara." Thirty years old and still being treated like a kid. I set it down and thank her, telling her how interesting and cool it is. I'm about to ask if she knows anything about the markings when I notice I have an erection. Thankfully, I'm still sitting at the dining room table, because this is a full on, iron hard, throbbing erection. What the hell? Although no one else notices, I'm embarrassed and disgusted with myself. Everyone here is family. I wasn't even thinking about anything like that. Thankfully, my utter disdain for myself quickly calms it down and I'm able to get up and help clear the table. Not much later I'm saying my goodbyes and driving back to my apartment.

As I'm driving I remind myself of that erection and again wonder what happened. I haven't been with anyone for a while, and come to think of it I haven't even masturbated in several days. I've been too tired from working lately. I figure that must be it, just pent up frustration, and promise myself to take care of it once I get home. A last birthday treat for myself. As I walk through the door I decide to watch some TV first to unwind. Sitting on my couch, I go through a few channels and leave on some syndicated sitcom I've seen a hundred times before, and find myself drawn back to that odd teapot. I pull it out of the box and study those symbols again. They're like nothing I've ever seen and for some reason I find them so damn intriguing. I decide to see if I can search online for anything resembling them, but as I'm setting the teapot down on my coffee table I realize I'm sporting another massive erection. I'm again a bit surprised by its timing, but this time not embarrassed or ashamed and ready to do something with it. My research can wait.

Making sure there are some tissues nearby, I undo and lower my pants, take myself in hand, close my eyes, and start slowly stroking. I normally like to take my time and make it last, tease myself a bit, maybe go to the edge a few times before giving in to my urges and climaxing. But just as I begin imagining myself in bed with a pair of Hollywood beauties, I'm surprised at how hard I am and how eager my cock seems to just want to cum and get it over with. It takes a lot of willpower to slow my hand down, and even more to stop for a few seconds to let myself cool off so my fun can continue. Suddenly a noise snaps my attention back from my daydream as my eyes fly open. It sounded like it was right in front of me, like something hit the table, but a quick scan of the room reveals nothing.

The shock and following pause managed to calm me down quite a bit, but I'm still pretty excited, so I lean back to start again. But first I decide to find something on my laptop instead of relying on my imagination, hoping the time it takes me to find something will help calm me down some more so I'll last longer. After finding a long, teasing handjob video, I start stroking. Despite my attempts, it doesn't take long for me to approach orgasm, so again I slow down my strokes and eventually stop. I'm breathing heavy as my cock throbs and I see the woman in the video still toying and teasing the cock she's playing with when that noise happens again. This time, I see something move in my peripheral. If I didn't know better, I'd say the teapot jumped. I never did look inside of it, did my aunt put something in there? Some wacky item from the store? I cautiously reach to lift the lid, ready to slam it back down in case there's something alive in there. Instead of a critter, I find cash. Two one-hundred dollar bills to be precise. This has to be a mistake. My aunt can't afford anything like that. Setting the bills on the table I make a note to call her tomorrow and try to give them back.

I would think that would have settled me, but I find myself hornier than ever. This is so weird. I can't remember the last time I was this excited. I promise myself to edge one last time and then I can cum. Looking back to the busty lady with the slippery hand, I quickly get to that edge and stop. As I try and slow my breathing, instead of a noise I see something pop into the air from the teapot. Another hundred dollar bill is fluttering to the ground. I quickly look at the table and see the two are still sitting there. Finally it dawns on me. I edged three times, I suddenly have three bills. This can't be a coincidence. Did my crazy aunt actually find something that works? There's no way she knew what it does. God, at least I hope not.

I quickly break my promise to myself and spend the next hour edging until I can't take it anymore and cum. The orgasm was intense, I assume from the hour of teasing, but then I wonder if that teapot is affecting me as well. Either way, I'm amazed at the huge mess I made all over my stomach and chest. After a few minutes cleaning myself off, I collect my "earnings" and find I have about $1,500 total. I'm in shock. This is amazing! I can quit my job and become rich just by jerking off? Best birthday ever! I resist the urge to work overtime. It's late and that first shift took a lot out of me. Besides, I have the whole weekend ahead of me with nothing else planned. I'm going to see just how much I can make!

Not wanting to let the teapot out of my sight, I bring it into the bedroom, setting it on my nightstand. Throughout the night I have the most amazing, vivid dreams I've ever experienced. Every single one of them is sexual with a never ending array of beautiful women. They all stroke, suck and fuck me over and over, but not a single one lets me cum. When I wake in the morning, drenched in sweat with an iron like erection, I'm amazed I didn't have a wet dream. My boxers are relatively clean, but soaked with pre-cum. I guess since I didn't orgasm in my dreams I didn't in real life? Either way, I need to take care of this and figure I'll get an early start on my money making today. After the night of dreams, I get to the edge quickly. I only stop for a moment and then edge again. I repeat this process over and over, edging quickly and often, all the while I hear the teapot dancing merrily on the table creating hundreds for me. I lose track of time and edges. My willpower is weak, and I also figure I have the whole weekend ahead of me, so I let myself cum. Once again, it's a powerful and intense orgasm. I let myself rest for a few minutes before cleaning myself up and counting my hard earned money. I'm disappointed to find a bunch of tens. There's still around $200 in there, but only tens? I was expecting a couple thousand dollars. What happened? Did I do something different? Do I need to wait longer between edging? Does it need to recharge?

Confused, I go shower and make some breakfast. Maybe my dreams of quitting my job were premature. After I eat, I finally search online for any clues to this magical teapot and its origin. Nothing. Either it didn't exist until recently or it's the world's best kept secret. Not even a legend or fable resembling anything remotely close to this. Guess I'm on my own to experiment. I can't tell anyone else about this or ask around for advice. Either people would think I was crazy or try and take it for themselves. So I head back to my bed, taking my clothes off on the way. I pick up the teapot and I'm instantly hard. Not only is this thing a cash cow, but also an aphrodisiac. I'm convinced it had something to do with my dreams as well. I'll need to leave this in another room if I ever want a good night's sleep again. But for now, I want to see how to make money. I slowly tease myself to the edge and stop, resting for a moment unlike this morning. The teapot jumps again, but this time it's only a single dollar bill. Okay, so it doesn't matter how slow or fast I go.

Suddenly an idea hits me. Instead of teasing, I quickly make myself cum. While not as intense as my earlier orgasms, it's still pretty amazing. Not only does the teapot turn me on but it enhances my pleasure, too. After another cleanup and a little rest, I grab the teapot and rub my fingers along the runes that cover it. Sure enough, my cock is hard and throbbing in no time. So I edge and hear a clink inside, and as I expected there's just a dime. Looks like every orgasm I have lowers the value. I just hope it recharges eventually. Even though I'm incredibly horny yet again, I force myself to stop all together. With great effort, I put my clothes back on and put the teapot in the box it came in and hide it in my closet. At this point it's close to noon, so I make some lunch and plan how I'm going to figure this out.

I spend the rest of the weekend experimenting. I know I slept for around eight hours that first night, and that obviously wasn't enough to recharge it, so I decide to wait twelve hours. I try and distract myself throughout the day, but have a hard time thinking of anything besides sex and stroking myself. I guess the box in the closet isn't enough to shield me from it. Maybe I should look into a lead safe? I find myself walking around my place with a hard-on most of the day. The only break I got was when I did some food shopping, but even then I found my imagination running away from me with every woman I saw. It took all of my willpower just to prevent an erection. Last thing I needed was to get banned from the store for being a pervert. Finally, it was midnight. Twelve hours since my last orgasm. I pull the teapot from the closet and bring myself to the edge. Nope, still a dime. Putting it back I go to sleep, praying I'm not visited by sexy women again. My prayers go unanswered. While not as intense as last night, they're still enough to leave me very aroused come morning. Once I'm fully awake, I edge again. Still a dime. Dammit. Okay, wait until noon, 24 hours should do it. If not, then maybe it just diminishes forever. I tell myself if it still doesn't go up by then I can at least have an orgasm.

The rest of the morning drags on. I find myself torn between wanting it to work and just wanting to cum. Finally, the clock hits twelve. I rush to my room and edge myself, no clink this time but it still jumped. Excitedly, I open it to find a dollar bill. Well shit. So an orgasm divides it by ten, and it takes 24 hours to just multiply by ten. That means I'd have to keep from orgasming until Tuesday if I wanted to generate more hundreds, and even then it won't work unless I'm teasing myself. I'm not sure if I can wait that long, especially with how this thing is affecting me, but decide the money would be worth it and try to forget about my ever increasing libido. And this is all assuming my theories are even correct.

As I sleep that night the dreams are more intense than before, although the details of the dreams are fuzzy, I only know they're about sex. Even though I feel more tired than the night before, I'm thankful for work Monday morning. Instead of going in to quit, I'm going in for the distraction, and it works, mostly. I still have some pretty vivid thoughts when I look at some female co-workers, especially Katie, a woman I've been friends with for a couple years and always had my eye on. Overall I'm able to lose myself in my work and get through the day. Once I'm home I do another edge, and sure enough we're up to a ten. Okay, so this is a rough patch to go through, but it will be worth it. Once we're back to hundreds I'll just spend a day teasing, cum, wait a day, and start all over again. As long as I only have the one orgasm this will work out fine.

I go to bed that night thinking of all the things I'm going to buy with my new income. As soon as I'm asleep the sexy dreams start right up, again at a higher intensity. This time I can remember. It's one long dream where I'm simply lying on my back while a beautiful woman is riding me. She rides me until she cums, which is just seconds before I am about to, gets off me and leaves only to be replaced by someone else. This repeats over and over until finally the last one tells me it's my turn. She rides me and just as I'm about to cum I wake up. In my morning haze my hands start moving towards my cock to finish the job, but somehow I regain my senses enough to stop them.

Shortly after getting up I call out sick, not wanting to waste any time once noon hits. Besides, I won't need that job much longer. After a light lunch I edge myself and am ecstatic to find a hundred dollar bill again. I spend the rest of the day edging myself in shifts. A half hour here and there, plenty of breaks in between. By the end of the day I have around ten thousand dollars on my table and a very red, angry, throbbing penis between my legs.

After a job well done, I finally reward myself with a long overdue orgasm. It is quite literally the greatest sexual experience of my life. I can't decide if that is amazing or sad, but either way it doesn't matter as I pass out from the experience. I don't wake until the following morning. For the first night since I got the teapot, my dreams are peaceful and I wake up feeling rested, but I find myself covered in dried semen. I groan in disgust at myself and quickly jump in the shower. I decide to go into work today to collect my things and quit. They're surprised and irritated that I'm not giving any notice. I figure the teapot doesn't care about my references.

My former co-workers insist on going out for drinks, and since it's my "off" day I figure why not? I'm a bit vague on my plans, just saying I'm going into business for myself or freelancing. Several drinks later and I'm chatting with Katie. We've been good work friends for a couple years now. I always sensed an attraction between us, but one of us was always involved with someone so we would just have the occasional lunch and bitch about work together. "I can't believe you're leaving! Who am I going to complain to now?" She sounds like she's had quite a few drinks herself. She then lowers her voice, "You know I broke up with Charlie last week." I did not know that. Before we can talk further, some others join us. From then on the rest of the night is a bit of a blur until I'm making out in a cab with Katie on the way to my place. This is really bad timing and a stupid thing to do right now, but that's alcohol's specialty.

Fortunately, as we get to my front door I remember the money is still sitting out and that I can't let myself orgasm until tomorrow. For once I'm hoping I don't get lucky tonight and she just wants to make out some more, but first I ask her to give me a minute before coming in so I can straighten up a bit. She tells me she doesn't care, but I insist. Quickly, I grab the money and shove it into a drawer. A moment later Katie is stumbling through the door and into my arms. Next thing I know we're both taking each other's clothes off and heading towards my bed. So much for just making out. I do manage to prolong our kissing and groping until she finally whispers in my ear, "I want you inside me." Instead, I quickly slide down between her legs and start licking. She doesn't protest. After her third orgasm she forces my head away, telling me to stop and that she can't take anymore. Good, maybe between that and the drinks she'll just want to pass out. No such luck as I crawl back up the bed and her hand immediately grabs my cock. She gasps into my ear, I can only assume surprised at how iron hard and throbbing it is, slick with precum. She whispers into my ear, "Such a good boy taking care of me when you're so horny." She squeezes my cock to emphasize her point, causing me to groan involuntarily. "Normally I'd be exhausted after what you just did to me, but I can't remember the last time I was this turned on."

It suddenly dawns on me, the teapot must be affecting her as well. I regret not teasing her a bit before making her cum to see if I would have earned some extra money. My thoughts are interrupted as she squeezes my cock again and tells me, "Your turn." Before I can protest, she's down between my legs, licking and kissing every inch of me. She's going slow, taking her time. I don't mind since I'm still trying to figure out how to end tonight without cumming, but as soon as she takes me into her mouth I give up on that idea. I'm being crazy, just enjoy tonight and I can reset myself in another day or two. I've already created more money than I'd bring home in two months at my old job, so a little delay won't hurt me at all. To be honest, none of these rational thoughts are going through my head as Katie is slowly bobbing her head up and down. I just know an orgasm is quickly approaching and I have no plans on stopping it. I'm close to the edge and tell her so to give her a warning in case she's not into tasting cum. What can I say, I'm a gentleman. What she does next takes me by surprise as she lets me fall from her mouth and with her hand gently yet firmly grabs my balls and pulls them down towards my feet. My cock is left bouncing alone in thin air while I ask her why. "Ssssshhhh. Just relax. I want to make this last for you. Trust me." In the back of my mind I realize she just unwittingly added more to my teapot account, but the forefront simply wants to cum and starts begging her for it. My hands, on their own, reach for her head. She swats them away, admonishing me, "Hey bad boy, settle down. Don't make me tie your hands. I still want to feel this inside me, so you can't cum yet." Before I can protest further, I'm back in her mouth.